I asked plain out dumb questions while chatting my new friend any ammendments?

[newbreed08]

I met her on a social site for long but we just started chatting. we haven't met though. The first time she gave me her attention to chat, i asked her dumb questions that she logged out because she felt i am desperate. How can i make her give me another chance?

[TaraMaiden]

Wait until you date to chat.

What dumb questions?

[newbreed08]

i asked her random silly questions that i can't even imagine. I asked her if she knows how to sing, if she has a good voice, her plans for the nearest future. But she said i should stop asking unnecessary questions and she went offline.

[TaraMaiden]

Why do you ask random dumb questions, then, if you know they're random and dumb?

[newbreed08]

I wasn't actually focused on the chat. I got to know the questions were dumb when i reread the chats. I was doing some office work and at the same time, i was too happy to have her online and to the fact that she had time to chat with me. i was overwhelmed and i messed everything up.

 

Please just tell me what to do.

[TaraMaiden]

I wasn't actually focused on the chat. I got to know the questions were dumb when i reread the chats. I was doing some office work and at the same time, i was too happy to have her online and to the fact that she had time to chat with me. i was overwhelmed and i messed everything up.

 

Please just tell me what to do.

 

 

One - avoid multi-asking! Apparently, men suck at that (but I think that's probably not entirely true! ) But next time, concentrate....

 

Two - do you mean in reconnecting with this lady, or on future occasions...?

[newbreed08]

I wish to reconnect with the lady. Could she give me another chance?

[newbreed08]

I appreciate everyone's responses. but it is so painful i lost her. i had good plans for her but she thought i was desperate. Hmm:confused:

[ChessPieceFace]

My advice is to just use this as more evidence that men will only find pain when they care about a woman more than the woman cares about them. If you're dating and you are male, turn off your heart. You won't need it where you're going.

 

In terms of what you did and why it's irreparable - basically, you far exceeded the "weirdness per unit time" allowed by this woman's particular subconscious standards. "First impressions" is a simplistic way to describe it. If you dated her for a week and made a few mistakes it might be overlooked. Take all those mistakes and condense them down into the first 10 minutes, and you're history. Doesn't matter if it's not representative of you, it's what you projected and it's the reality in her mind. And the reality inside a woman's mind is the only reality she knows.

 

As for the why you did it - you probably have issues with nervousness. You feel like you should say something, you don't know the right thing to say, and inevitably say the wrong thing. I'd look into some kind of self-help to address the causes of this nervous behavior. Or I guess you could just fail with a bunch more women and eventually learn by doing, but that would be a painful process.