RiceaRoni Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Why do some dumpers act cruel and mean after they break up with you? For me, my ex left me, got with someone else quickly, showed off his new RS in front of me, called me cruel things, saying F*** you, etc. and even after 5 months post BU he still has some resentment towards me..saying that I copy his style of clothing, saying I was a waste of time, etc. I just ignore it and turn the other cheek, but I've always been curious if a lot of dumpers act like this? and why they do it?
TaraMaiden Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Self-righteous indignation, projection, deflection... The more 'wrong' YOU are, the more virtuous and justified they can make themselves look..... 2
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Self-righteous indignation, projection, deflection... The more 'wrong' YOU are, the more virtuous and justified they can make themselves look..... so basically for self validation? That they made the right choice?
TaraMaiden Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Yes. Basically, lying to others eventually makes you believe your own lies.... (Remember what I said about his brain wiring.....) 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Yes. Basically, lying to others eventually makes you believe your own lies.... (Remember what I said about his brain wiring.....) yeah i remember and I never forget to keep that in mind.
Sugarkane Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Because they can and to try and justify their own actions. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Yes. Basically, lying to others eventually makes you believe your own lies.... (Remember what I said about his brain wiring.....) So he'll just end up believing in the lies he's told himself right? Even though the truth is right in front of him..he doesn't want to see that he has been wrong or was?
TaraMaiden Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Anyone stubborn will believe what they do is right, because they don't want to be open to persuasion, and actually think otherwise. He won't end up believing in them, necessarily - but he will maintain them to save losing face. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Anyone stubborn will believe what they do is right, because they don't want to be open to persuasion, and actually think otherwise. He won't end up believing in them, necessarily - but he will maintain them to save losing face. So he'll know he's telling himself lies? He is stubborn so yeah this would apply to him big time...as he matures though this changes?
TaraMaiden Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 When are you gonna quit asking questions you already know the answers to? We've gone over all this before, haven't we? You're obsessing again.
marklarsson Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 As Tara has already said because he is stubborn, he will justify the breaking up wirh you in anyway he knows how. He doesn't not want to admit to himself that he made the wrong decision If he did. 1
robaday Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Mine did the exact same thing, threw everything you can imagine at me, whatever you do dont apologise or give them any reason to justify their anger, just say its your problem not mine.....it seems to have worked in my case, shes since been blowing up my phone trying to see me. Its because he still cares - Ive had exes turn cold on me and that hurt way worse!! anger means you meant something for him to waste that much energy. Might not be nice, but its over and whos the one creating drama? him, not you!!! your doing well!! 1
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