mikeyv44 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 First off this forum has been helpful. Unfortunately, I never listened to anybody, and was stubborn after the breakup with my recent ex girlfriend. So my hope is to help others. I dated a wonderful girl for 6 months. I know it wasn't a very long time, but to me I was happy. I'm 27 years old, and my first mistake that I made was that I fallen for her pretty hard, and I set myself up to get hurt. My ex-girlfriend was 23 yeas old, but much more mature for her age, and I'm usually not the type to fall for younger women. Still, there was something unique about her that I liked. Our relationship was great, we had no fights, and we spent alot of our free time together. Things were going well until on Feb5th, I took her out to dinner and I can tell something was wrong. She wasn't acting like herself, and from a discussion at dinner she told me her ex called her, and it caused a huge fight between them leaving her in tears. Her previous ex and her were together for 5 years prior to us dating, and she told me that she wasn't ready to be in a relationship anymore, and that she needs time to work on herself. She didn't go back to her previous ex, because he was verbally abusive to her, and cheated on her multiple times. She just said it was "bad timing" and that she jumped into a relationship too soon with me. I was heartbroken, and like a fool I couldn't keep the no contact thing from happening. I had so many questions that were left unanswered. I had so many feelings of "what if I did this" or "maybe if I said this" could things have worked out between us. I even bargained to be there for her as a friend, and in hope that in time she would realize that I was a great guy that we could get back together. What I should have done was moved on, and established a great deal of time of no contact, mostly for myself and my mental health. I never let myself recover from the break up. Which was a shock for me. I didn't talk to her for about 2 weeks initially, until I broke and texted her. She was so happy to hear from me that we ended up talking on the phone for 2 hours, and at the end she asked when are we going to talk again? I said soon, and she said ok, have a goodnight! I was overjoyed, and called her again 2 days later. It wasn't the same, and she seemed preoccupied the whole time, and it ended up in an awkward silence and she told me she would call me later that night. She never did, and I was destroyed. Like a fool I facebook messaged her saying I still liked her, and that I needed some time before we could talk again. I waited another 2 weeks, until I broke again and texted her. Nothing good came out of it. Through text she said that she didn't see it in the cards of us getting back together again. A day later I saw her delete all of our pics together on facebook, and a new uploaded pic of her and her previous ex. I was destroyed, and I overreacted from it. I messaged her that I was upset to see a pic of her and another guy, and that she deleted our pics that were memories. I told her that I had to unfriend her because I can't see pics of her with someone else, and especially of those two, and I would die when i see her in a relationship with someone else. This sunday it was my birthday, and i don't know why but i texted her. I was depressed and to be honest I missed her greatly. I told her the truth that I missed her, and she told me that I had to get myself together, and that she thinks we shouldn't talk anymore. I have been destroyed ever since. The thing is, no matter how you feel, no matter what you may think, and no matter what memories/experiences you had. The best medicine for any breakup is to move on, and not contact the other half. If you contact them, even if your intentions are good on both sides, you will somehow rip each other apart. The best advice for everyone out here, is to just let it go, and move on with your life. I wish you all that took the time to read this the best, and hopefully my story will help benefit you to not make the same mistakes that I did. 6
TaraMaiden Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 You need to repost this, in this thread.... Because it's relevant and pertinent. (It's the link in my signature....) You could also do with actually reading the No Contact Guide itself. It will help....
marklarsson Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Looks like you could have been the rebound and you should forget about her completely and go no contact
Author mikeyv44 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 thanks for the posts. um mark...that's what i said i was gunna do though. i appreciate the good advice from others.
KatZee Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 At the end of the day, no matter how great the advice is, people are always going to think they're unique and special and that their relationship is different from everyone else's. And people are going to do what they want to do despite the very logical advice. Seems you had to get burned to finally wake up and realize what needed to be done. You were a very classic rebound and it's a harsh lesson learned but just know that you DID take something out of this situation. A lot learned, so it wasn't a complete waste... no matter how painful.
Author mikeyv44 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 you're definitely right katzee. thanks. my friends, people on here, and even my parents told me that its just best to not talk to her anymore. i was stubborn and had some crazy notion in my mind that i was special or better than everyone else. the truth is, the no contact is for me and for me only. my ex made the decision to break up, and the way she was acting the last time i saw her, she had thought about it for a while prior to the breakup. i talked to her after the breakup and she told me i wasn't a fling or a rebound. it was just bad timing on her end. in a reality it doesn't matter. all i know is that its time to move on, and wish her the best and a wonderful life. my post is to hopefully help anyone else that i can. 1
Author mikeyv44 Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 just thought i needed to update this. about a week ago, i found out my ex is now in a new relationship with someone else. how can that be? i mean she broke up with me because she wanted time to work on herself, but then 2 months later she has a new boyfriend. i know i need to move on, but it's so hard to let it all go. i'm mad and frustrated that we broke up because she didn't want to be someone jumping from relationship to relationship when she was with me. still, is there any logic to why she is in a new relationship already?
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