happykat Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I was seeing a man for a couple of months and he was very sweet. We started off as friends and things eventually progressed to being intimate which was great and I thought everything was fine. We are both busy with work and kids. He always told me he likes me and misses me when we haven't seen each other for a few days. Last Weds we met just to steal a couple kisses and hugs. Then Friday I texted him and he never responded and I still haven't heard a word. - I left a voice mail today and he didn't respond. This is a 49 year old man,I am just really surprised and dissappointed .. I mean, I can handle it if I'm just not his type, he doesn't see a future, or whatever... I am hurt that he can't even be bothered to officially dump me. This sucks... Have any of you guys done that before? If so, why?.. I mean, I have done the "ignoring until they just go away" but that was back when I was a teenager and I just didn't know how to treat people properly. Uggg...
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I was seeing a man for a couple of months and he was very sweet. We started off as friends and things eventually progressed to being intimate which was great and I thought everything was fine. We are both busy with work and kids. He always told me he likes me and misses me when we haven't seen each other for a few days. Last Weds we met just to steal a couple kisses and hugs. Then Friday I texted him and he never responded and I still haven't heard a word. - I left a voice mail today and he didn't respond. This is a 49 year old man,I am just really surprised and dissappointed .. I mean, I can handle it if I'm just not his type, he doesn't see a future, or whatever... I am hurt that he can't even be bothered to officially dump me. This sucks... Have any of you guys done that before? If so, why?.. I mean, I have done the "ignoring until they just go away" but that was back when I was a teenager and I just didn't know how to treat people properly. Uggg... Yeah, that's mean, but most people do it.
Author happykat Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Yeah, that's mean, but most people do it. Really? You think? on a regular basis you mean? Even at this "advanced age"? damn.. I was just expecting a bit more maturity...
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Really? You think? on a regular basis you mean? Even at this "advanced age"? damn.. I was just expecting a bit more maturity... Well, I'm not "advanced" yet lol....but I have dated people that are. If a person isn't into you, they'll just stop responding to you. Personally, I don't do that because I'm always interested in making new friends, but not everybody shares my viewpoint.
ls32ssibm Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Really? You think? on a regular basis you mean? Even at this "advanced age"? damn.. I was just expecting a bit more maturity... In the digital age it's the easy way of letting somebody know to "F*** off". I imagine 50 years ago you used to have to tell them in person, but I don't know. It's to be expected.
curlygirl40 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 It does suck. And not in the good way. Both men and women do it, I think they convince themselves that it would be 'easier' than being honest and/or having to have a grown up conversation. It's immature. One of my favorite videos is Garfunkel and Oats 'The Fadeaway'. So funny. 'Like a baby in china, it's better to have balls'. Best of luck. I would stop contacting him. He knows what he did was wrong but continuing to prod him isn't going to help.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Yes, many people do this because of the "explanation" having to go into any deep explanations of how they feel or what they think, in which you can corner them and say "So you didn't feel what I felt?" this leaves the other person in a precarious situation where explanations don't come easy...why? because they just aren't that into you. Unfortunately people don't have much of an ethic about this sort of a thing until it happens to them...then they whine and complain, however some people treat others how they wish to be treated. You don't know this mans personal situation or why he could have stopped talking....likely could be another woman (usually is) or another affair which "tried him up" from having to speak with you. I think this guy will contact you in the future with an excuse...let's see if you bite.
TigerCub Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 One of my favorite videos is Garfunkel and Oats 'The Fadeaway'. So funny. 'Like a baby in china, it's better to have balls'. :laugh: I love Garfunkel and Oats! So funny. Didn't hear that one though! My personal favorite is "F*ck me in the ass cuz I love Jesus" OP, I'm sorry that this happened to you. When people do the ignore thing it is really cowardly and rude - so f*ck em! They're not worth staying sad over. But in your case, you said that he has kids and stuff do you think that maybe something came up or some emergency happened. Do you think that maybe they aren't really separated from the mother? Either way, you made your contact attempts and you should just leave it at that for now. I'm sorry These things always suck.
lilyblue Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Had this happen to me too with someone who really should have been chronologically old enough to be above it. We had been really close friends for about 4 years. Suddenly things changed and we started talking about dating (his idea). We started dating, spending all our time together (which we really had been for months and months before that anyway). Everything was great. One day he didn't reply to a text. Never heard from him again. That was a year and a half ago. Still makes me beyond angry that he could do that.
Fatdrifter Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I was seeing a man for a couple of months and he was very sweet. We started off as friends and things eventually progressed to being intimate which was great and I thought everything was fine. We are both busy with work and kids. He always told me he likes me and misses me when we haven't seen each other for a few days. Last Weds we met just to steal a couple kisses and hugs. Then Friday I texted him and he never responded and I still haven't heard a word. - I left a voice mail today and he didn't respond. This is a 49 year old man,I am just really surprised and dissappointed .. I mean, I can handle it if I'm just not his type, he doesn't see a future, or whatever... I am hurt that he can't even be bothered to officially dump me. This sucks... Have any of you guys done that before? If so, why?.. I mean, I have done the "ignoring until they just go away" but that was back when I was a teenager and I just didn't know how to treat people properly. Uggg... Wow. A woman laments and is encouraged for it. I post a thread similar and get lambasted with bull****.
Author happykat Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Had this happen to me too with someone who really should have been chronologically old enough to be above it. We had been really close friends for about 4 years. Suddenly things changed and we started talking about dating (his idea). We started dating, spending all our time together (which we really had been for months and months before that anyway). Everything was great. One day he didn't reply to a text. Never heard from him again. That was a year and a half ago. Still makes me beyond angry that he could do that. Aww man that's even worse!.. I'm sorry Thanks for all your kind responses.. No, I will not contact him again - and I only left one voicemail and texted once.. so yeah.. to the poster that says he will contact again and see if I will bite -- any excuse other than being in coma will not be accepted lol.. Also, I am over it already
lilyblue Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Aww man that's even worse!.. I'm sorry Thanks for all your kind responses.. No, I will not contact him again - and I only left one voicemail and texted once.. so yeah.. to the poster that says he will contact again and see if I will bite -- any excuse other than being in coma will not be accepted lol.. Also, I am over it already Congrats on being over it so quick! I know this goes against most peoples' advice, and if you are over it, it might be moot, but I too did not try very hard to contact him b/c I didn't want to look pathetic. I texted once, and called once the next day. Looking back, I do kind of wish I would have done more at that point - when it would have been more "acceptable". A year and a half later, honestly I'm still not over it, and wonder if I should have played it differently at the time. But, good for you!
gaius Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Sometimes there's just nothing to be said. I never found lying or saying something hurtful to someone who didn't really do anything wrong the mature approach. At least this way you get to think maybe he really is in a coma, or got run over by a bus. Instead of getting an earful about what he thinks is wrong with you or some dishonest BS about why he needs to break up. Hope you're feeling a little better at least. 1
fishtaco Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Age has nothing to do with anything. I've seen women in their 60's accusing each other of stealing boyfriends like they were a bunch of immature teenagers. Anyway, the vanishing trick is pretty common, practiced frequently by both genders. I've used it myself. I think of it as giving back to the community.
soccerrprp Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Done by both genders and i've done it once myself. Sometimes there's nothing to be said especially if conversations leading up to that moment clearly showed that the relationship wasn't going anywhere or was precarious at best.
TheGuard13 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Yeah, people like this suck. Let the baby have their bottle.
veggirl Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 If its just been a few dates/couple weeks, then fine...it's lame but I get it. After a few MONTHS though? That is so inappropriate and RUDE!
Author happykat Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 I think this guy will contact you in the future with an excuse...let's see if you bite. You were right! Unbelievable... he started texting me about a week ago and apologized.. I completely ignored him, and I think it really bothered him because he texted several times over a few days. My only response was no response - hope he knows how that feels now, even if just a little bit. 1
mortensorchid Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I also hate being ignored. No responses to texts or voice mails or whatever else. Then at long last they stop ignoring you and then tell you via email or text or something that they don't want to see you again because of (reason). Just remember, that this person who is choosing to do this is cowardly. They ignore you and all other problems thinking that they are just going to go away. I only pulled that once in my lifetime on a guy, but I did it because he truly deserved to be cast away. I'd like to think most of us don't deserve that, but unfortunately we are not all brave and stout of heart as we would like to think we are.
jeni4566 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Take the non-responsiveness as an automatic closure that means not interested. Most of us get bugged not because the other person may not be interested, but because the absence of closure. So, take the silence as the closure.
KraftDinner Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I don't care about the why. Maybe that's insensitive or whatever but to plot death on others the way that they did takes precedence. They're terrorists. That's all I need to know. You were right! Unbelievable... he started texting me about a week ago and apologized.. I completely ignored him, and I think it really bothered him because he texted several times over a few days. My only response was no response - hope he knows how that feels now, even if just a little bit. Unreal!!! Good for you for ignoring! Who needs any sort of relationship (even friendship) with someone who thinks it's acceptable to disappear like that!!!! Did any of his texts have an explanation? I mean, not that it matters or that you should look for one.
RachR Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 You were right! Unbelievable... he started texting me about a week ago and apologized.. I completely ignored him, and I think it really bothered him because he texted several times over a few days. My only response was no response - hope he knows how that feels now, even if just a little bit. People who are responding, please read the OP's new post before you start responding to the original one. Sigh.
RachR Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 You were right! Unbelievable... he started texting me about a week ago and apologized.. I completely ignored him, and I think it really bothered him because he texted several times over a few days. My only response was no response - hope he knows how that feels now, even if just a little bit. Wow! Some people, can't believe he'd actually expect you'd have anything to do with him now. What a jerk. Glad to see you gave him a taste of his own medicine.
soccerrprp Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 ...and the lesson here is: "do unto others as they have done unto you that which you thinketh sucks."
Author happykat Posted May 11, 2013 Author Posted May 11, 2013 Unreal!!! Good for you for ignoring! Who needs any sort of relationship (even friendship) with someone who thinks it's acceptable to disappear like that!!!! Did any of his texts have an explanation? I mean, not that it matters or that you should look for one. Yes he wrote something about he had just gotten out of another relationship, and he was hating his job etc... blah blah... who cares? lol And YES you are totally right --even for friendship, I would not let someone like that into my life.. no way
Recommended Posts