Found love and I ruined it. Is there opportunity to reignite a lost flame?

[JasonJ03]

So boy (me) meets girl, falls in love, and then pushes her away. We were together for over a year and we loved each other. Then we went through a little rough area. I started neglecting her. She came on to me more needy and I felt I couldn't meet her demands, yet I ultimately feel I just wanted a little space and I didn't communicate it with her. So I started pushing away. I was being inderectly insensitive to her feelings and then it finally got to a point I realized I was being unfair and couldn't keep stringing her along. She was devastated. She adored me as I felt I did her but everything just kind of crumbled. Months past. As time dragged on I started missing her more and more. Finally one day I text her. We talked and then she said how she smiled when she seen my name and said she would be lying if she said she hadn't been thinking of me. It was coming back together! Over the next few days we text eachother and it was great. Then I blew it. I became an emotional mess and just threw myself at her. I told her I wanted her back so badly and would do anything. She explained how she spent so much time getting over me and she is finally happy and doesn't want to jeopardize it. I wrote a song about how much I love and miss her and put it on fb. She phoned and told me I need to move on. I kept nagging and finally I stopped. I feel I dug myself into a deep, pitiful hole of emotions. So I started making it seem like I was okay. I stopped talking to her and over the weekend I went out and had some fun. I put a video of me riding a mechanical bull for my first time and there are a bunch of girls in the background cheering. A couple of girls added me on fb and posted an image of me with them. I have absolutely no interest in any other girl then my ex though. I kind of feel sick because the whole purpose of that weekend was to go out and make it seem like I can have fun and meet new people. I was trying to play mind games and I felt sick. So last night I text her and just said "Hi I just wanted to say I hope you had a great weekend and have a great week ahead :)" She responded a couple hours later with "You too Jason!" So this is where I am at now. I want her back so badly but I don't want to mess up if there is any opportunity there. I need experts for guidance. I know I need to get myself together and quit being depressed first. I also ran into a program called "the magic of making love" but you have to pay and I am willing if it is worth it. I need all the help I can get because my emotions have my thoughts so fogged. Thank you so much for at help or advice.

[adelia]

I'm no expert but a little honesty can go a long way. Maybe just tell her exactly what you wrote here.