elliemay Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Hello everyone. I am 23 and currently in a 4 month relationship with a 22 year old man I met through meetme. Although we only live an hour apart (I live in coventry and he lives in nottingham) I feel he doesn't put as much effort into our relationship as I'd like. I have recently visited him and had a wonderful time. As cheesy as this sounds unlike other dates I've been on in the past this one felt right. Only problem is it doesn't seem like he wants to visit me. We've discussed it several times and I always get the same answer, he has a fear of leaving his hometown, the fear of the unknown. I am learning to drive which he thinks will be better for our relationship. I love him but don't know what to do? We text and call each other everyday and occassionally speak on skype. I don't want to lose him but also don't want to have to be the only one visiting, it's unfair. He tells me he loves me every day and I have helped rebuild his confidence but if he really loved me as much as he says he does he would be willing to visit me right?
stevie_23 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 If he truly has some kind of proper "disorder" or significant issue with leaving his home town, well...ok. You're both quite young still and he can work on that as time goes on, if it's affecting his life (which it obviously is because it's affecting his relationship right now), but for NOW, how about if you either (a) went to his home town and then you BOTH went to your home town together, or (b) met halfway and then went to your home town? OR for a bit of an adventure, you could both meet at his home town and then travel somewhere totally different and unfamiliar to BOTH of you (so you're both in the same boat) and stay in a B & B or something...? Make the unfamiliar fun and exciting (and safe and comforting because you're together) as opposed to scary for him.
justwhoiam Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 it doesn't seem like he wants to visit me. We've discussed it several times and I always get the same answer, he has a fear of leaving his hometown, the fear of the unknown. I am learning to drive which he thinks will be better for our relationship. ... if he really loved me as much as he says he does he would be willing to visit me right? That wouldn't work with me. I mean what? He can't leave his town? Seriously? So no holidays anywhere? No one-day trips anywhere? No country outings? Picnics ever? He won't visit anywhere out of his town? How can you possibly live a life like that?
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