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Girlfriend wants me to get rid of my toys, will this show her how much i love her?

Driftking102

By Driftking102
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ja123 Established Member

ja123

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It sounds like she's more concerned with the impression you might make on others. Not good.

 

And why do you have to "prove" you love her, by getting rid of your toys. Why can't she "prove" she loves you by buying you some because it makes you so happy?!!! I know I would for my bf.

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pyramid Established Member

pyramid

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He didn't say he loves his toys, or even that they make him happy. Just that he kept them a long time.

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Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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Do not ever get rid of them, DO put them in a box and put them away in your attic.

 

I'm 45... I still have a beer can collection with over 300 different brands of beer that I collected in my younger teens, it's in boxes in the attic..

I put them away when it was time to grow up but kept them for my son one day....

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fallenheart Established Member

fallenheart

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Oh man, this thread really makes me sad!!

 

Dude....don't sell your toys!! Or your t-shirts!! You WILL regret it!!

 

I collecto toys. It's one of my passions. It's something I do that's just for me, it makes me happy, it doesn't hurt anyone. I've loved toys since I was a little kid. The stuff they are making now is even BETTER!!

 

I noticed that when I'm not in a relationship I tend to spend a lot more time on toys and ended up buying stuff I didn't necessarily want, just for the sake of buying something new. And so I went on a purge and sold a huge chunk of my collection...hundreds of figures. I got about a thousand bucks for them. Hardly what I paid.

 

I also gave a lot of stuff away to kids in my family or good will.

 

BUT!! I kept all the good stuff. The treasures! Cause that stuff will always be important to me. If a girl demanded me to get rid of it, then she obviously doesn't know me or care about me very much if she doesn't recognize that this is a hobby that makes me happy.

 

At the end of the day, that thousand bucks I made went pretty quickly on mundane stuff like rent and groceries. But the toys I kept still make me happy every time I see them.

 

Don't throw away the little treasures you've accumulated just cause she tells you to! She obviously doesn't "get" you if she fails to see that your collection makes you happy.

 

Dude....you WILL regret every toy you lose, and you WILL spend more later down the line trying to re-acquire them, long after she's left you!

 

Girls come and go, but a man's collection is forever!

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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One thing I did compromise with her on was video games. I am like video games are small and dont take up that much space so when you come over you wont notice them. I agreed with her about the toys since none of them were being played with and could go to kids that would enjoy them. I donated another lot to big brothers big sisters foundation tonight. I sold what I could on ebay and am donating the rest.

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Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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**Art shakes his head**

 

I guess it's too late... but man.. dude... in a year you might look back at that and wish you had never dumped the ones that meant the most to you...Storage....

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ja123 Established Member

ja123

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He didn't say he loves his toys, or even that they make him happy. Just that he kept them a long time.

 

So, why did he start a post, then, if he's rather indiferent about them?

 

OP, what say you?

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Driftking102 Established Member

Driftking102

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Just wanted your opinion on whether this would make my girl happy and see confidence in me knowing that I can grow up and maybe she would want to take our relationship to the next level. I would really like to take my relationship to the next level with her. Shes not comfortable going to my house yet because of all the clutter I am assuming. Which isnt that much anymore. It's getting cleaner and I am getting rid of stuff and putting some stuff away. My apartment used to be filled with toys, but now I just got my games.

sharklazers New Member

sharklazers

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Wow, the toys are the least of your problems. The real problem is that you'd make this kind of post in the first place. Why do you care so much about what she thinks or about what we think for that matter? I could understand if it was some kind of big life changing decision, but honestly no one really cares that much what you do with your toys, including your girlfriend. It sounds like you think it's going to make her love you forever. Don't go out of your way to make big sacrifices so try to win people over. That mentality is the problem. The reality is it just makes people uncomfortable.

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TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

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Are you talking about action figures and statues and such?

 

If they mean something to you, don't let someone else make you give them up. There are plenty of grown men who have those kinds of things, and collect them. It's a hobby. There's nothing inherently wrong with it.

 

It's one thing not to play with them...but put the damn things on a shelf or display them or something. There's no reason to sacrifice part of who you are for a controlling person.

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

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Hell no.... if you go along with this on her lead you will end up resenting her.

 

Not controlling....waahhh, why do go clothes shopping with your gf - I just don't know.

 

I can understand you wanting to get rid of the stuff but doing it to please her... no

 

I mean wouldn't you rather have someone who interested in those stuff too?

Edited by SmileFace
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Treasa Established Member

Treasa

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Female here. Only get rid of your toys if you want to. If a guy wanted me to sell or give away or throw out things I enjoyed, I'd kick him out instead.

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ChessPieceFace Established Member

ChessPieceFace

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You could sell some of your toys to buy your controlling GF a one-way plane ticket somewhere. Just an idea. :p

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Standard-Fare Established Member

Standard-Fare

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I don't know. I'm going to chime in on the girlfriend's side once again. I think a grown woman has a right to feel like she doesn't want to be surrounded by childhood paraphanelia. In anything more than small doses, it can feel, I don't know... regressive? Immature?

 

The men here should consider how they'd feel if they were dating a grown woman who stacked her bed with dolls and stuffed animals. It wouldn't be that awesome, right?

 

I think it's a matter of how this girl handled the situation. If she was sensitive, and didn't make demands, then I think she's within her rights. I also agree with the people here who say that if the figurines are important to OP, he should store them. That's totally legit.

Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

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What is 'childish' and what is 'grown up' are entirely subjective.

 

I've always played video games on and off. There was a time when that was considered childish, but it's now become acceptable so long as it's not an obsession. I'm interested in lord of the rings & star wars, which once could have been looked down on but are now mainstream 'geek' and acceptable. I've got some board games, traditionally the province of kids and families, although these are aimed at adult gamers.

 

These are all things that at one time could have got me labelled 'immature', but now that's less common.

 

I'm a responsible dad to a three year old daughter, I have a decent job, savings, a girlfriend and a social life. I am grown up. Just not the type of 'grown up' your girlfriend would approve of. But I'm done pretending to be anyone else to make a good impression.

 

Tell her you'll chuck the toys as long as she does the same with all but 5 pairs of shoes, and all the clothes or handbags she's not used in the last year :laugh:

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spice4life Established Member

spice4life

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...lol. this thread is kinda cute and funny. OP, are you wearing these toys or are they hanging around your place? If you're wearing them maybe she justs wants to see what you're like without them. :) If they are hanging around your place then maybe there is a reasonable compromise if they are valuable to you. Good luck!

Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

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Also, getting rid of your things won't show her how much you love her, it'll show her how much of a doormat you are.

ChatroomHero Established Member

ChatroomHero

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Bathtub battles are the bomb!

I also used to make rapids for my barbies. To this day, Barbie Rapids is still my best childhood memory.

 

 

Nice. The problem now that I am older is I have a tree stump in the middle of the lake to contend with. :mad:

meeji Established Member

meeji

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No way!!!!

You will probably regret it later, especially if things don't work out. Not to jinx you or anything. If this woman doesn't love you, giving away your toys will not make her love you more....

 

She needs to understand that having hobbies and collectibles has nothing to do with being mature and growing up. Everyone has their vices and I don't think that it is far for her to demand that you get rid of them.

 

I'm sorry but I think you should sit her down and have a talk about it. She can't mold you into the man she thinks you should be and if she thinks she has to, then maybe she is with the wrong person.

 

You should never change for someone else unless you think that change is for the best.

this seems really stupid to me to be a deal breaker.

Treasa Established Member

Treasa

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What is 'childish' and what is 'grown up' are entirely subjective.

 

I've always played video games on and off. There was a time when that was considered childish, but it's now become acceptable so long as it's not an obsession. I'm interested in lord of the rings & star wars, which once could have been looked down on but are now mainstream 'geek' and acceptable. I've got some board games, traditionally the province of kids and families, although these are aimed at adult gamers.

 

These are all things that at one time could have got me labelled 'immature', but now that's less common.

 

I'm a responsible dad to a three year old daughter, I have a decent job, savings, a girlfriend and a social life. I am grown up. Just not the type of 'grown up' your girlfriend would approve of. But I'm done pretending to be anyone else to make a good impression.

 

Tell her you'll chuck the toys as long as she does the same with all but 5 pairs of shoes, and all the clothes or handbags she's not used in the last year :laugh:

 

Want to be my friend? I love those things, too. Anyone who doesn't like the fact that I'm into them can piss off.

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Andy_K Established Member

Andy_K

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Want to be my friend? I love those things, too. Anyone who doesn't like the fact that I'm into them can piss off.

 

Exactly the right attitude! And you can never have too many geeky friends

 

At 29, I only just discovered BoardGameGeek | Gaming Unplugged Since 2000. A whole new world has opened up to me..

veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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Oh OP you are gonna regret this decision someday :(

 

I have all my old Babysitters Club books. If my bf thought that made me childish and wanted me to get rid of them, I'd think he was a control

Freak and I would tell him no. It's not like I read them daily or have them displayed in our living room you know? Your gf is wrong to ask this and it's pretty pathetic you're just blindly doing it. She says jump, you say how high

dj572 Established Member

dj572

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If you are ready to put away your toys then by all means put them away. I suspect you don't really want to or you wouldn't have posted. It has been my experience if you give up something you enjoy because somebody else thinks you should leads to resentment. I know women thinks it's childish for men to hold onto their toys but if it makes you happy and it doesn't hurt anybody why would she make you feel bad about it. I have 2 cousims that started with Star Wars collectibles and have collected everything in between. They now share their hobby with their kids. Sure their wives roll their eyes from time to time but it is something that the kids share with their dad. Just my opinion but if a woman wants to force a man to give up his harmless hobby is more interested in control than the hobby itself. Follow your heart but do not give up something you enjoy jist because she wants you to. Good luck.

TheGuard13 Established Member

TheGuard13

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I don't know. I'm going to chime in on the girlfriend's side once again. I think a grown woman has a right to feel like she doesn't want to be surrounded by childhood paraphanelia. In anything more than small doses, it can feel, I don't know... regressive? Immature?

 

The men here should consider how they'd feel if they were dating a grown woman who stacked her bed with dolls and stuffed animals. It wouldn't be that awesome, right?

 

Most men wouldn't care.

 

If she has an issue with it, she can always date someone else who is less passionate about their passions.

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Leilana New Member

Leilana

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Everyone is like.. condemning him for doing something to prove his love for his girl. Wtf? I personally believe there should be more men like him.

 

Seriously dear, forget the haters, good for you for actually being a man and doing something for the woman you adore! Seriously, good job! :)

 

To everyone else, please stop judging their relationship. She is a woman who knows how to ask for what she wants, and he is a man who will clearly do a lot to give her what she wants. That's how it should be, in my humble opinion. To me, this seems like a match made in Heaven. It will show her a lot that you love her. Rock on and I wish you two the best.

 

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but yes I am a believer that in relationships good men focus their attention on what the special lady in their life wants and needs and puts their desires on the back burner a bit, because he already has what he needs- her.

 

This young gent knows what's up.

 

There's nothing wrong with finding a woman who makes you want to change and be a better man. I'm sure she will be inspired by you to be a better woman. I send you two my loving blessings.

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