lisaryan212 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been together for half a year now. He is 20 and I am 18. We live an hour away from eachother but see eachother every weekend and all our holidays. We are deeply in love and I am very attached to him. Recently, if I have been going to my friends house ( once , actually recently) my boyfriend would be like ' are you home yet? When you coming home? Please come Home' when it would be around 11 ish or so on a school night. I am 18, boyfriend 20. Last nightI went to my friends house again, and he texted me saying ' you home?' I replied not yet, and asked him how was he getting on. He would respond for an hour, then texted back the same thing ' you home yet?' not answering my questions. He then told me he ' doesn't like this. I amnt mad at you I just think its so late for you to be out. You need your own time and sleep. Text me when your home'. He's been like that a few times just if I went to my friends house late on a school night. I don't know if it's for my well being or what. But I have to admit, I do not socialise as much as I use to when I was single. In fact, I have often found myself cancelling invites to places just to see him. I dont go out anymore ( however, he does choose that, i do)My boyfriend however, would go to his friends house late on a college night and sometimes come home at around 3. It makes me annoyed, and wonder why he doesn't like me out late yet it's perfectly fine for him. Also, just yesterday my boyfriend rang me and we were talking about how messy my room was and I needed to study. I told him I was getting ready to see my best friend and he sighed. He said I could of said no ( because he wanted me to study and clean my room etc). Then, a few hours later he went to his friends house and Again that night. What do you think?
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 It's hard for me to respond without being repetitive (particularly for long-standing members who know me) but you two are insufficiently 'mature' to be able to conduct a serious, long-term relationship, for several reasons. First of all, (please believe me when I tell you this, because it's true) this is not a lasting eternal love. This is a good love, but it's young, and I guarantee it, as the night follows day, that one - or both - of you will want to spread your wings and see other things, try other experiences and get some freedom back. And if I'm not far wrong, it kinda looks as if you'd like to be doing that already..... And that's ok. It's natural, normal and frankly, to be expected. because the "You" of now, is completely different to the "you" that you will be, even in just 3 short years' time.... SEcondly - neither of you are "Fully cooked" yet. That is to say, some aspects of your brain's functions are not completely formed yet. So to a certain extent, you both have some 'immature' thought processes going on...And on some emotional levels, in spite of your BF being older than you, it's possible he's behind you in the development stages. And that's not being sexist. It's just the way the male/female brains work. So: Loving or Controlling? Yes. And no. he's just finding his feet and probably isn't really sure how to handle things, but does seem to have double standards. But maybe he has a habit of 'stereotyping'....Upbringing, social influence, parental influence.... It doesn't matter in the long run what he's doing, exactly. What matters is what and how you feel about it. And if you don't like it - you need to say so. 1
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