puzzled1 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Okay some of you guys know my story, some dont... Recap: dated for 3 1/2 years. She lied to me, was seeing someone behind me, told me every BS in the world. I was stupid and hung around, she finally broke up. I went NC and she started seeing someone. We had limited contact every now and then only because of her. She broke up with the new guy and wanted me back. I was hesitant at first but then wanted to "experiment" with it. Obviously I still have feelings for her but she wants to keep me around to comfort her. She has many things going on in her life so I am not the number 1 priority anymore... We hung out alot in the past few weeks, dinner, movies, gym and even spent the night at her house. Things started to feel like they did before we broke up, started to have limited contact, she started to get more involved in church. She started to go to "get together's" and bible study more often. (I think there is a guy there that she likes, she wont ever invite me there). She would try to hide the phone whenever I was around her. I couldn't take it anymore as I was giving into the relationship more than her. I have now decided that I don't want to be "that guy" (you know; the jealous, curious, more answer seeking, always doubting, low self esteem, etc) After we broke up 4 months ago, I was dating around, even slept around with a couple of girls... things were looking up as I was on my way to be genuinely happy until she came back in my life. I am having a hard time trying to let go still because, I have been feeling lonely as hell. I am having self confidence issues trying to "talk" to new girls. I think since she is in the back of my head all day long, its keeping me in a weird place and I feel guilty every time I think about anyone else, as I care very deeply for her. I just told her today to give me some space to myself to gather "me" up. I know she understands that I am not wanting to pursue this relationship any further.... I just need some support from you guys once again to help me move on. I've done it once, I know I can do it again. Thanks guys!!
Grumpybutfun Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Doing something to help you to be a healthier and more well-rounded individual is a good thing. The only thing that would be sad about this situation if you stayed in it one more day. Don't stay stuck in a relationship that makes you feel negative. Life is about living well, not just living. Luck, Grumps
cavalier99 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Well you won her back but still ended up f*ck. Sucks. It was worth a try. I guess when that initial bond is truly broken there isn't any going back. I've been were you are with that constant stress and wondering. It really is no way to live. It is just so hard to let go when technically they are still with you. This time i guess it is really serious business with the NC. I don't think you can have any contact with her at all. You can do it man. It probably wont be easy because this has sucked up so much of you energy the last months. Self preservation time. Cav
Author puzzled1 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Doing something to help you to be a healthier and more well-rounded individual is a good thing. The only thing that would be sad about this situation if you stayed in it one more day. Don't stay stuck in a relationship that makes you feel negative. Life is about living well, not just living. Luck, Grumps Thanks!! I have been going to the gym and am looking the best as I ever have. Saying NO to negative from now on. Well you won her back but still ended up f*ck. Sucks. It was worth a try. I guess when that initial bond is truly broken there isn't any going back. I've been were you are with that constant stress and wondering. It really is no way to live. It is just so hard to let go when technically they are still with you. This time i guess it is really serious business with the NC. I don't think you can have any contact with her at all. You can do it man. It probably wont be easy because this has sucked up so much of you energy the last months. Self preservation time. Cav Thanks Cav! Feelings will always change, I wanted to have no regrets later on in life. Now that I gave her chance to prove herself and she didn't do a damn thing for me, I can truly focus just on myself.
cavalier99 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Its all good man...you gave it a shot. The thing is no matter how much you care for her she is just bringing you down. You need to feel like a man, confident etcetera. There are plenty of girls that will make you feel great about your self and be super into you. Just work first on being ok on your own. I know you'll be able to finally leave this relationship in the past. Good luck bro! Cav
flitzanu Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Okay some of you guys know my story, some dont... Recap: dated for 3 1/2 years. She lied to me, was seeing someone behind me, told me every BS in the world. I was stupid and hung around, she finally broke up. I went NC and she started seeing someone. We had limited contact every now and then only because of her. She broke up with the new guy and wanted me back. I was hesitant at first but then wanted to "experiment" with it. Obviously I still have feelings for her but she wants to keep me around to comfort her. She has many things going on in her life so I am not the number 1 priority anymore... We hung out alot in the past few weeks, dinner, movies, gym and even spent the night at her house. Things started to feel like they did before we broke up, started to have limited contact, she started to get more involved in church. She started to go to "get together's" and bible study more often. (I think there is a guy there that she likes, she wont ever invite me there). She would try to hide the phone whenever I was around her. I couldn't take it anymore as I was giving into the relationship more than her. I have now decided that I don't want to be "that guy" (you know; the jealous, curious, more answer seeking, always doubting, low self esteem, etc) After we broke up 4 months ago, I was dating around, even slept around with a couple of girls... things were looking up as I was on my way to be genuinely happy until she came back in my life. I am having a hard time trying to let go still because, I have been feeling lonely as hell. I am having self confidence issues trying to "talk" to new girls. I think since she is in the back of my head all day long, its keeping me in a weird place and I feel guilty every time I think about anyone else, as I care very deeply for her. I just told her today to give me some space to myself to gather "me" up. I know she understands that I am not wanting to pursue this relationship any further.... I just need some support from you guys once again to help me move on. I've done it once, I know I can do it again. Thanks guys!! sounds like you answered your own question. she came back to you because you were second best, and she's still treating you like second best. do you deserve better?
Author puzzled1 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 sounds like you answered your own question. she came back to you because you were second best, and she's still treating you like second best. do you deserve better? Of course I deserve better. I just need help motivating myself not to reach out to her.
flitzanu Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Of course I deserve better. I just need help motivating myself not to reach out to her. that should be your motivation. she chose someone else, and not you. why choose someone that doesn't want you? 1
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