Author MrCastle Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 And we smell nice. lol Even when you don't, I still want you. Sometimes more so.
iKING Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 And we smell nice. lol It's true. Body, hair, clothes. Bah, you just had to bring it up. I use this coconut shampoo/conditioner by herbal essence just because it smells so good. That and it makes my hair kind of soft.
Author MrCastle Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 I think that when you're juggling 3 or 4 girls, you dont have time to meet new ones. Your "full" socially so to speak. So when the 4 girls bail on you, you go thru a dry spell b/c frankly it takes time to build your pipeline back up. It probably doesnt happen overnight to many men, unless they are out at the club, and highly desireable. Basically,I think you cant have your cake nad eat it too. You want a woman around all the time, but dont want comittment. So I think thats a price you pay - you're gonna have dry spells. Also, just as an aside and out of my own curiosity: i would suspect many of the girls SAY they are okay with what you want, but they really arent. Do you ever get any clingers? Like that go psycho or stalk you or anything? Of course, but what other options do I have? I don't want a serious relationship, but I value sex. Refraining from dating is not an option. When I sense they are getting too invested I try to reset the frame and remind them what's going on. Sometimes that doesn't work, admittedly.
dasein Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Attitude, body language, pheromones, female perception of you as not desperate and in demand. When it rains it pours.
sillyanswer Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Even when you don't, I still want you. Sometimes more so. You charmer! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Few months ago, I had so many options, now I have NONE. It's a bit depressing - but yes it always goes in cycles. I know it's just a down cycle and it will pass 1
Author MrCastle Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 What makes you not want a serious relationship? Is it b/c you want the variety, or just dont want the "hastle" so to speak. Or have you just not met the right girl yet? (Just genuinely curious, not judging) Everything you listed.
Green Light Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Attitude, body language, pheromones, female perception of you as not desperate and in demand. When it rains it pours. I'd settle for a "tinkle"! 1
iKING Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I'd settle for a "tinkle"! That's just.. Whoa.. I think you meant trickle. 1
Green Light Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 That's just.. Whoa.. I think you meant trickle. No, at this point I think that "tinkle" fits the the bill. A p*ss in the desert is still something! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 That's just.. Whoa.. I think you meant trickle. iKing how old are you? You sound so wise but look so young My guess would be 24. Am I close?
iKING Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 iKing how old are you? You sound so wise but look so young My guess would be 24. Am I close? Much obliged. Very early 20s, you are relatively close indeed.
Author MrCastle Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 I think I'm gonna take a break from dating for the first time in my life. It's gonna be hard. I left my house today thinking I wasn't going to pay attention to ladies, then almost got into a fender bender as I was driving because I was looking at this bootylicious babe jogging in yoga pants.
iKING Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 It's gonna be hard. I left my house today thinking I wasn't going to pay attention to ladies, then almost got into a fender bender as I was driving because I was looking at this bootylicious babe jogging in yoga pants. Don't feel too bad, I found myself trying not to flirt with the cashier at Taco Bell just a minute ago. Try giving women compliments on rather obscure points of interest that most men don't take note of, but that women put a fair amount of consideration into. Tell her that her hair looks really pretty, or that you really like her shoes. It's a lot of fun. Especially if the girl is rather reserved or shy, I've made a couple blush giving off-ball compliments like that pretty recently and that little smile they make can really warm a man's heart.
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I think most people's dating lives go on streaks. That's what I've observed anyway.
Author MrCastle Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Don't feel too bad, I found myself trying not to flirt with the cashier at Taco Bell just a minute ago. Try giving women compliments on rather obscure points of interest that most men don't take note of, but that women put a fair amount of consideration into. Tell her that her hair looks really pretty, or that you really like her shoes. It's a lot of fun. Especially if the girl is rather reserved or shy, I've made a couple blush giving off-ball compliments like that pretty recently and that little smile they make can really warm a man's heart. I do that now. What I want to do is not look at women in a sexual or flirty sense at all. Too many recent disappointments. I wish I could turn off the switch.
iKING Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 What I want to do is not look at women in a sexual or flirty sense at all. Too many recent disappointments. I wish I could turn off the switch. I've tried, it doesn't work well for long. Unless you go completely asexual or something, the feeling will always be there. My only suggestion is not to cling too much to the emotion itself, it's fun, it's always going to happen, might as well not cause yourself more pain then you have to. If a woman is in your life, she is, if there isn't one, that's ok too. Nothing lasts forever, including being alone, so try not to get too down in a rut when the slow parts come. I'm in the same position you are for the most part, and that's how I've found to not let it effect my well-being. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I do that now. What I want to do is not look at women in a sexual or flirty sense at all. Too many recent disappointments. I wish I could turn off the switch. You can join me, I am taking a break from dating too :/ 1
iKING Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 You can join me, I am taking a break from dating too :/ We should start a jaded singles retreat. Cuddle time optional. 3
Green Light Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 We should start a jaded singles retreat. We could have "dinner and a movie night". DOH! That sounds too much like a date! See, there's no escaping it! 1
iKING Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 like the tire tracks in one's underwear. I thought they were called skid marks? "Streaks" is in the title and so far we've made puns about both urine, and skid marks. We're failing to be adults here guys.
Green Light Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Dating is one of the most childish endeavors adults are involved in. You are correct: dinner and a movie and then let's show each other our "wee wees" 1
Green Light Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I thought they were called skid marks? "Streaks" is in the title and so far we've made puns about both urine, and skid marks. We're failing to be adults here guys. I gave up being an adult years ago. 2
TouchedByViolet Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I think most people go through this. It just says you are average and go through lucky times and unlucky times. The more attractive you are the more feasts you will experience. Everyone wants to believe they are in absolute control of their success, blame others for their failures and rationalize some sort of controllable outcome. Truth is life decides a lot of outcomes for us and in our grand delusions during success we forget how capricious life can be. There is a lot of humility and lessons to be learned during famines. 1
CryForNoOne Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Alright I'm curious about this situation and wondering if it happens to anyone else. My dating life is very feast or famine. A few months ago, I had a handful of new dating options. I was feeling good, in the zone, and overall enjoying where I was. Those options have been whittled down to about nothing. I've had drama at some level or another with all the options I had. This is not the first time this has happened. I go through a hot streak, then a cold one, then a hot one before I know it. My approach has not changed. Nothing I do changes, but for some reason I lose girls and find new ones. I would much rather prefer a stable dating life where it was consistent. These streaks are unpredictable and deflating when I'm in a cold one as I am now. Does anyone else score in bunches? Any insight as to why this might be? I design video games for a living and one of the things we worry about and I'm very well versed in is random chance and modelling statistical distributions. Your dating cycles are entirely the norm for 10-20 romantic interests per year. With that small sample size you'll never have 2,2,3,2,2,1,2,2 per month. It will be 3,0,1,2,4,0,1,1 etc... You're probably skewing the standard distribution further by going through emotional peaks and valleys that directly affect your attractiveness to women. Your experience is totally normal and unless you double your volume, get used to it. Handling the droughts a little better will prevent them from happening quite so often. I've gone through the same exact cycles in the last 18 months. The way I've handled the droughts is by keeping a FWB the entire time. I have 7 women in play right now, but have been FZ'd by the only one I really want. Otherwise this is an extreme peak right now and the past 17 months look like a valley in comparison. 2
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