myname8 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. I was hurt in the beginning but I've been holding my self up better each day that passes by. I never initiate contact with him, he usually does. I sometimes answer but I always end the conversation a minute after. He knows that I don't want anything with him and that we will never have something again. He asked me to go see him today to talk and I didn't respond. I honestly want to tell him to just not contact me anymore. However, I am debating on how to do it... Either in person or thru the phone? I don't hate him, hold grudges or anything... I want the best for him. I guess he is still trying to remains friends but who are we kidding right? I just feel like having NC will make things better for him and I. So how should I do it? Thanks everyone.
will1988 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 My ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. I was hurt in the beginning but I've been holding my self up better each day that passes by. I never initiate contact with him, he usually does. I sometimes answer but I always end the conversation a minute after. He knows that I don't want anything with him and that we will never have something again. He asked me to go see him today to talk and I didn't respond. I honestly want to tell him to just not contact me anymore. However, I am debating on how to do it... Either in person or thru the phone? I don't hate him, hold grudges or anything... I want the best for him. I guess he is still trying to remains friends but who are we kidding right? I just feel like having NC will make things better for him and I. So how should I do it? Thanks everyone. He is obviously still trying to hold on to the past and still trying to be in your life. You've made it clear that you do not want to be in his life, at least not in a relationship sense, and that you want to move on. He is grasping for straws at this point. He does not know what he has to do to get your attention, so he is asking you to meet him where he will probably say he has something importan to tell you (and it will be "bad" news... or he will throw himself at you). These are the oldest tricks in the book. He doesn't have anything important he needs to talk to you about, he just wants to see you and wants you to give him attention. If you do go see him it will fule his hope that maybe he can rekindle things. It will also show him that you are weak and will give in to his demands. Your best bet is to not even respond, just ignore him all together. Eventually, he will get the hint. However, if he still bothers you (and assuming you do not go and see him, he will text you, call you, or message you, to demand to know why you blew him off. or he may threaten you, or call you every name under the sun for blowing him off) you need to strong and tell him exactly how you feel and how you do not think it is best that you are in each others lives at the present time, and tell him you are going NC and you want space from him. 1
CaliBabe Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Through the phone is fine, no need to do it in person. Just be clear with what you want so he understands. 1
Author myname8 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 You guys are right, there is no need for me to go see him. I text him already and knowing him he will probably text back. I was pretty clear... I said: I want to ask you for a favor. I would appreciate it if you stop contacting me. Honestly, you and I don't have anything to talk about anymore. We both have moved on and I don't find reasons to keep in touch. I hope you respect what I am asking you for for. Thank you and take care.
boywonder123 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 great, this will be better for the both of you 1
flitzanu Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 don't forget, you don't HAVE to be cordial. going NC means YOU stop communicating. you don't have to tell him that you're going to stop talking, you can just stop talking to him.
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