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My ex texted me


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Posted

My family gave me a big surprise birthday party. It was a milestone birthday for me. I had been NC with my ex for a few weeks. After a few drinks I instinctively texted her that my family gave me a surprise party and I wished she had been there.

 

I didn't even really think about it just did it instinctively. In fact I turned off my phone at that point not thinking she would respond.

Well she left me a text last night wishing me an early birthday and that her son had a birthday party this weekend too.

 

I guess it felt good to get a text as I think that is the least she could do. I sent her a $100 worth of flowers on her birthday a few months ago.

 

Well at least I know she is alive. I don't feel any different as I don't read anything into this. It was just a friendly gesture.

 

Maybe someday in the future after time moves on we can sit down and talk again. If nothing else I miss her a friend. It's just now we have to try hard to still get over each other before we can do that.

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Posted
My family gave me a big surprise birthday party. It was a milestone birthday for me. I had been NC with my ex for a few weeks. After a few drinks I instinctively texted her that my family gave me a surprise party and I wished she had been there.

 

I didn't even really think about it just did it instinctively. In fact I turned off my phone at that point not thinking she would respond.

Well she left me a text last night wishing me an early birthday and that her son had a birthday party this weekend too.

 

I guess it felt good to get a text as I think that is the least she could do. I sent her a $100 worth of flowers on her birthday a few months ago.

 

Well at least I know she is alive. I don't feel any different as I don't read anything into this. It was just a friendly gesture.

 

Maybe someday in the future after time moves on we can sit down and talk again. If nothing else I miss her a friend. It's just now we have to try hard to still get over each other before we can do that.

 

 

i kinda have a similar situation as yours. my ex and i had BU back in sept 2012 but we continued to talk and i had A LOT of false hopes. but then she finally "came to her senses" (nice huh?) and then we went into NC a few weeks ago and it was even worse than the BU.

 

i had had broke NC to inform her about a few accts that we shared and that i was closing them. i did this to be polite and not just do it and look like a total D**K for not telling her. well she responded right away with a polite "thank you" and it felt "ok" to get a reply. BUT later it hit me. it hit me b/c i had been, i guess, hoping that she would have at least how i was doing. now granted that was not my intentions to text her for that reason. it just hit me later on when i was thinking about it. in fact i didn't want to break contact but i felt it was the right and polite thing to do. many have told me that i should have just said "screw her". but i just couldn't do that to someone i still love so much even if they were the ones that broke my heart in a million pieces. my thinking is that she didn't say anything b/c she knew how i felt......like hell. and also she just prob didn't want to leave it open for discussion. oh well.

 

but i'm like you. i would like to be able to one day sit down and talk to her just as friends BUT i don't think that will ever be an option for me. my ex WAS THE ONE. i think there will always be some hurt from this BU no matter how much time passes. so sad.

 

but there are many times that i want to just text her but i just know that its the WRONG thing to do. when i feel like texting her was just like you.....right after a few drinks. its so hard to resist the temptation. my ex is my drug and right now i'm in rehab........

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Posted
i kinda have a similar situation as yours. my ex and i had BU back in sept 2012 but we continued to talk and i had A LOT of false hopes. but then she finally "came to her senses" (nice huh?) and then we went into NC a few weeks ago and it was even worse than the BU.

 

i had had broke NC to inform her about a few accts that we shared and that i was closing them. i did this to be polite and not just do it and look like a total D**K for not telling her. well she responded right away with a polite "thank you" and it felt "ok" to get a reply. BUT later it hit me. it hit me b/c i had been, i guess, hoping that she would have at least how i was doing. now granted that was not my intentions to text her for that reason. it just hit me later on when i was thinking about it. in fact i didn't want to break contact but i felt it was the right and polite thing to do. many have told me that i should have just said "screw her". but i just couldn't do that to someone i still love so much even if they were the ones that broke my heart in a million pieces. my thinking is that she didn't say anything b/c she knew how i felt......like hell. and also she just prob didn't want to leave it open for discussion. oh well.

 

but i'm like you. i would like to be able to one day sit down and talk to her just as friends BUT i don't think that will ever be an option for me. my ex WAS THE ONE. i think there will always be some hurt from this BU no matter how much time passes. so sad.

 

but there are many times that i want to just text her but i just know that its the WRONG thing to do. when i feel like texting her was just like you.....right after a few drinks. its so hard to resist the temptation. my ex is my drug and right now i'm in rehab........

Yes hockey we are a lot alike. It's so hard to not have her in my life. I know she misses me in her life too but she has new bf and has to remain faithful to him.

 

It's just so hard when we were so tight. She loved me like crazy and now is in love with someone else. She tries hard to avoid me. I know deep down she is doing this because communicating or seeing me will cause her pain as she still loves me. She admitted that to me. It's just so frustrating if she would just be honest with herself maybe we could have had another chance. The fact she is forcing herself to stay away definitely hurts. It tells me she wants that relationship to work no matter what. You can't fight someone resole when they are so determined.

 

I miss her. I won't forget her.

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Posted
Yes hockey we are a lot alike. It's so hard to not have her in my life. I know she misses me in her life too but she has new bf and has to remain faithful to him.

 

It's just so hard when we were so tight. She loved me like crazy and now is in love with someone else. She tries hard to avoid me. I know deep down she is doing this because communicating or seeing me will cause her pain as she still loves me. She admitted that to me. It's just so frustrating if she would just be honest with herself maybe we could have had another chance. The fact she is forcing herself to stay away definitely hurts. It tells me she wants that relationship to work no matter what. You can't fight someone resole when they are so determined.

 

I miss her. I won't forget her.

 

Btw she is the ONE for me too. So sad how life works sometimes. It's getting harder and harder everyday to imagine her looking up at me with so much love in her eyes for me. Se looked up at me like that for years. Hard to accept she is now choosing to look up at a new guy like that she has known for a few months.

 

Life can be surreal like that.

Posted

Funny how we are different. I don't want my ex wife or ex girlfriends as friends. They added nothing to my life. They subtracted from it. They used me and threw me away when they felt they had something better. Well, truth is, I found the good in goodbye. I need none of them in my life. In fact, I kicked out a lot of other people in my life a few years back who added nothing as well.

 

These girls or guys that dumped us, why would you want them in your life? They stopped caring about you when they left you. And they should get the consequence of not having the pleasure of you in their lives!

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Posted
Funny how we are different. I don't want my ex wife or ex girlfriends as friends. They added nothing to my life. They subtracted from it. They used me and threw me away when they felt they had something better. Well, truth is, I found the good in goodbye. I need none of them in my life. In fact, I kicked out a lot of other people in my life a few years back who added nothing as well.

 

These girls or guys that dumped us, why would you want them in your life? They stopped caring about you when they left you. And they should get the consequence of not having the pleasure of you in their lives!

 

I think it has to do with the fact that not all BU's are the same. I have ex's I never wish to speak to again ever just as you. However, there are BU's that are caused to do poor communication such as in my case. For us falling out of love or cheating was NOT the cause of our BU. It was miscommnication or lack of communication.

 

As a result a series of events happened that got us to where we are now. She met someone new awhile after the BU and before we actually talked about what caused the issue in the first place. Enough time went by and she let herself go with the new guy thinking we had reached an impasse.

 

We met after a few months and discussed things and it was clear we could have worked things out. By that point she was already resigned to move on and started to fall for a the new guy. I know she still loves me. She said so. But sometimes the wheels already in motion run over you.

 

Why would I want her in my life? I still love her. Plain and simple. That's why.

Posted

But communication can be fixed. If two people are having problems and the problems are worked on by BOTH parties then the couple can survive. Not communicating or refusing to address the issue and walking away, in my book, that just points to a lack of effort all the way around. I'm not saying either party is wrong in how your relationship ended, but the committment you two had wasn't strong enough. I want someone to fight for me through the bad and the good. I would fight for them through it all too. But walking out and not coming back is not how long lasting love lives. She walked for whatever reason and yes, of course you still love her. But if you still love her how could you possibly want her in your life knowing she doesn't share those feelings? I couldn't do it. But then again, I'm not a very big person when it comes to people leaving my life.

Posted

She only texted you because you texted her.

 

When are you going to stop sticking your hand in the fire? You can think about friendship once you're over her. You won't get over her if you keep trying to pop back into her life and change her mind. She knows you're number. She'll call you if she wants to talk to you and fix things.

 

Is it really nice to hear from them when they aren't with us? If my ex texted me right now and said "Hi, I hope you're doing well" my heart would probably be ripped out of my chest. It wouldn't be the same as when I heard from her when we were together. When I used to hear from her, she was mine. Now she's someone else's and that SUUUUUUCCCCKKKKSSSS!!!!!!!!

Posted

 

 

Why would I want her in my life? I still love her. Plain and simple. That's why.

 

Dude you are living in the past. You only have now. Kill the love you have for her because it isn't returned. When you live in the past it causes regret, anxiety, depression, it is an endless pit of despair. Is she with you now? NO.

 

SO YOU ARE LIVING A MEMORY THAT IS DESTROYING YOUR PRESENT AND FUTURE. Imo Cav

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Posted

The title is misleading.

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Posted
Btw she is the ONE for me too.

 

Coping Vortex, Hockeyfan, you need both need to open your minds to the idea that you exs were not 'The One'. What you're saying is that there will be nobody else out there who will be good for you, that no one could be a better fit for you. The problem with that is that you'll now look to the past and harbour the hurt that you carry. You will, therefore, long for the communication that you once had as you still feel that you are 'meant to be'.

 

Don't get me wrong, I can see you're both moving on, but there will always be that nagging feeling of the 'love that you lost' rather than looking for 'love yet to be found'.

 

I speak from experience here. My ex was, in my eyes, 'The One' yet she still walked out on me. I eventually realised that, to have done that, she wasn't actually 'The One'. I opened my mind to the fact that 'The One' must still be out there, and, low and behold, my recovery kicked up a gear and I'm now with someone who beats my ex hands down. I no longer desire to have any communication with my ex (even after a few drinks :) ) because I have finally realised she's not 'the One' I thought she was. I appreciate that it's not easy, but once you take them off the pedestal, things become easier.

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Posted

I agree with some of the others. ITS SOO HARD.

 

But getting any hopes up that a return text means anything is just nonsense. She was just not being a jackasss-for that moment.

 

Also, forget about the "communication" thing. That just makes it seem as though there was no legitimate reason. If she truly wanted you , then communication wouldnt have been the problem. She moved on to someone else. It sucks. I think any hope you can have is that she comes to her senses and realizes this guy isnt as good as what she had with you(GIGS).

 

But even then, how is it going to make you feel when you know you were just the "backup" plan?

 

I sympathize with you. but dont let hope(or false hope), keep you from moving on with your life.

 

TFOY

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