CorridorE Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 (edited) My military ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago and I want him back, but I know constantly contacting him will only push him farther away. I know NC it will also help me heal eventually if we don't get back together... but right now I still have high hopes for us, realistic or not (we were together 3 years). But do you think no contact will work with him since we were a LDR? Also, if you've gone through NC before how long was it before you started hearing from your ex? It's been a month and I'm suprised he hasn't contacted me... he's literally all I can think about. Do guys ever really start missing their old girlfriends after being broken up for some time? Edited March 11, 2013 by CorridorE
will1988 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 My military ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago and I want him back, but I know constantly contacting him will only push him farther away. I know NC it will also help me heal eventually if we don't get back together... but right now I still have high hopes for us, realistic or not (we were together 3 years). But do you think no contact will work with him since we were a LDR? Also, if you've gone through NC before how long was it before you started hearing from your ex? It's been a month and I'm suprised he hasn't contacted me... he's literally all I can think about. Do guys ever really start missing their old girlfriends after being broken up for some time? The question is, why would you want someone back who dumped you? Obviouslly he does not want you at all, if he did, he wouldn't have dumped you in the first place... and he would've contacted you by now. To be honest, he may contact you after a time, but that is generally only because he misses being in a relationship (not you personally) and or because he wants a booty call. Do you honestly want that? Do you want to be the needy ex who waits around for her ex to contact her? I know you love him and it is tough to get over someone... but honestly, wishing, praying, hoping, overthinking about this guy getting back with you, will just do more harm than good in the long run. If I were you, I'd cut him out of your life entirely at this point. Remain NC and try to heel. Good luck!
hockeyfan99 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 My military ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago and I want him back, but I know constantly contacting him will only push him farther away. I know NC it will also help me heal eventually if we don't get back together... but right now I still have high hopes for us, realistic or not (we were together 3 years). But do you think no contact will work with him since we were a LDR? Also, if you've gone through NC before how long was it before you started hearing from your ex? It's been a month and I'm suprised he hasn't contacted me... he's literally all I can think about. Do guys ever really start missing their old girlfriends after being broken up for some time? i have to agree with the other poster as well BUT i know how you feel. i really do. i wake up EVERY morning hoping that this will be the day she calls me back. NC sucks soooooo bad but its really the only way you're going to get over that person. i'm starting to accept the fact that if its mean't to be then its mean't to be. he knows how to get a hold of you if he wants to contact you. just breaking NC is going to put you back to day 1. i know b/c a did it about 2 weeks in NC and i felt like crap afterwards. hang in there.
Author CorridorE Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 (edited) The question is, why would you want someone back who dumped you? Obviouslly he does not want you at all, if he did, he wouldn't have dumped you in the first place... and he would've contacted you by now. To be honest, he may contact you after a time, but that is generally only because he misses being in a relationship (not you personally) and or because he wants a booty call. Do you honestly want that? Do you want to be the needy ex who waits around for her ex to contact her? I know you love him and it is tough to get over someone... but honestly, wishing, praying, hoping, overthinking about this guy getting back with you, will just do more harm than good in the long run. If I were you, I'd cut him out of your life entirely at this point. Remain NC and try to heel. Good luck! The thing is, it isn't obvious that he doesn't want me at all. His job is very stressful and he doesn't enjoy it, and he said it was becoming too difficult to take leave every 3 or 4 months only to see me for a few days and have to go through the lonliness and distance all over again. He said he is confused about what he wants and couldn't keep me tied down anymore since he was beginning to have doubts of his feelings for me--that if he really loved me, the distance wouldn't be a problem. He says he is ready to move on, but I do believe he still cares about me and might just need time to figure out some things on his own... Edited March 11, 2013 by CorridorE
will1988 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 The thing is, it isn't obvious that he doesn't want me at all. His job is very stressful and he doesn't enjoy it, and he said it was becoming too difficult to take leave every 3 or 4 months only to see me for a few days and have to go through the lonliness and distance all over again. He said he is confused about what he wants and couldn't keep me tied down anymore since he was beginning to have doubts of his feelings for me--that if he really loved me, the distance wouldn't be a problem. He says he is ready to move on, but I do believe he still cares about me and might just need time to figure out some things on his own... Not to sound mean, but I think you are in denial. From what you just posted it is obvious he is trying to move on and is trying to let you off the hook easy. If he has not made contact with you in over a month it is obvious he does not want to contact you, nor be with you. I know it hurts to realize that, but you do need to realize that... and then from there moving on will become much easier.
singme2sleep Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Ok I'm gonna try and be the optimistic one... Just because its been a month, doesn't mean he isn't coming back. Whole I don't advocate waiting around for the dumper to come crawling back, when you love someone you can't just turn your feelings off like a light switch. Whether or not he is still thinking about you and wants to reconcile, depends on why he broke up with you in the first place. If it was due to bad timing/outside circumstances, then there's always the possibility.
Author CorridorE Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Ok I'm gonna try and be the optimistic one... Just because its been a month, doesn't mean he isn't coming back. Whole I don't advocate waiting around for the dumper to come crawling back, when you love someone you can't just turn your feelings off like a light switch. Whether or not he is still thinking about you and wants to reconcile, depends on why he broke up with you in the first place. If it was due to bad timing/outside circumstances, then there's always the possibility. Thank you. I know I can't put life on hold waiting for something that might never happen, and I don't plan to. But I think it did have a lot to do with bad timing and his uncertainties outside of me. It's just nice to hear the optimism because even with working towards moving on, I know he's not going to be out of my thoughts anytime soon. 1
singme2sleep Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I think there's always the possibility when love is still there. And how does it help to be completely pessimistic? In my opinion it doesn't really make you forget them.
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