fishertod Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Please help with advice last Sunday my live in girlfriend told me she wanted space didn’t know what she wanted any more and wanted me to move out. Things had been bad for 2 or more months. She is under a huge amount of stress. Her house she worked for her whole life is selling from a past divorce. Her job may be out sourced and she is turning 40 this month. She said she wanted a man in her life not in her house and told her mom I was totally obsessed with her. That same day her parents came in from out of town they are staying a month . I went out of town for work came back on Thursday and her mom and dad changed the locks on me. LOL that’s a little short notice to find a new space and I feel disrespected I have been staying in a hotel. I told her to keep the TVs and all the other stuff as they were only things. Since her mom and dad came in town things have went from bad to worse. She told me she was sick of my constant lieng grumpy behavior. I had been depressed for the last few months and not myself. She said that we had grown apart and we both had changed. For the last month she didn’t come home 4 or 5 times . I read that the best thing to do was give her space for at least 3 weeks or until her mom and dad were gone. Last night the 8yr old text me and said she loves me, misses me and would I please come over next week to spend time with her. a few days later her mom text me and says there counsler says its not a good idea for them to call or text me just yet??? .I recently tried to get her to go counseling with me so we could clear the air in a netural setting and no matter what happend bewteen us ..be peaceful becuse she has a 5 and 8 year old that have lived with us for the last 2 years and I love them as they are my own kids this is what she replied seems to leave open a small possibility or no??? I am not ready to sit down and meet with a counselor..it’s too soon. I haven’t had a chance to unwind yet with my parents in town, having the kids etc… I can honestly say-things are very calm at the house and I enjoy hanging at home again.(and cooking)- you called the police on me,......... I did when she changed the locks on me when i went out of town for work................you told me you were staying at a hotel(which you are not) I can’t handle the lies anymore. They stress me out…. I do not want to be in a relationship, I have been in one for 18 years. I want to enjoy life with my kids…. So no I won’t be there tomorrow. I know you said I could have the TV , coffee maker and etc..but I think it’s best you take them- When do you want to come and get them? then yesterday she text me and ask how my new job is going why is she doing that????? then I ask her to send me picts of the kids and she did please help I need honest advice on how to proceed..
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I took it from your thread title that you were married, in the process of separating/divorcing, and you wanted some guidance or suggestions on how to best plan things in order for you to see your children. I now see that this isn't the case at all... I hate to be blunt, but by any accounts, you are out of the picture. You're not married. The children aren't yours so actually, you have a relatively minor emotional attachment to them. Because they're young, this separation from you will not mean as much to them, and is not as significant to them, as if it would be if they had known you for a much longer time, and/or they were older..... Just take your things, leave, and go No Contact. Honestly - believe it or not, that has to be your best and most favourable option right now.
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