Daffodil74 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I posted a while ago about my break-up with a gay best friend. I consistently maintained NC, and haven't initiate any texts or phone calls since last July. Tried to avoid any events that we were both invited. But he texted me more or less once a week, usually asking about random things or if I want to go shopping (so he will drive me - he used to drive me or went with me to shop when we were still friends). Of course I said no. About two months ago, I invited friends (including him and his gay partner, I can't avoid that) to my house warming party. He brought me food on the day. Something happened to me after that which caused me a lot of emotional and financial distress. Our mutual friends knew about that. But I didn't tell him. Last week, he gave me money (a good amount) via my close friend. I asked him why he gave me money. He said it was his housewarming gift which he forgot to give me earlier. I am not sure if my mutual friends told him anything. But his act did remind me of the time we were still best friends. I used to think we had 6th sense to detect each other's signal (e.g. text/call at the same time or when I thought about him). And I hate that. I was doing well and suddenly all the memories came back. I didn't want to keep the money. But I don't know what I should do.
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 If he says it's a gift then keep it. But use it productively. If it gets you out of a hole - get out of the hole. But if there are things you really don't want him to know about - then don't talk about them to mutual friends....
Author Daffodil74 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 Thanks Tara, I'll keep it for now then. Yesterday I felt an urge to return him the money and tell him to stop contacting me. I felt I was back to square one after almost 8 months. Haizz!
TaraMaiden Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 Yeah, quit responding and stay No Contact. If at one point he makes the suggestion, in any way, that "huh, he gave you money, the least you could do, is keep in touch " (almost like a 'bribe' thing, you know?) then without telling him, make arrangements to pay the money back in instalments, even if the amount is small/month. If he objects, tell him his motivation is unwanted. You'd rather pay the money back than be beholden to him, especially as you were given the impression it was a gift.
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