LittleDragon456 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 My ex and I were together almost six months, and we were very madly in love. We broke up about 6 weeks ago, and I've been having a rough time handling it all. I have depression and he has been my rock the past few months. He was thinking about breaking up because he couldn't handle the distance anymore. I can't give him the real physical touch and affection he craves for. We both crave it, but I am/was patient enough to wait on it until we could be together. When I told him I was letting him go, he said "Maybe we can try this again in a year or two, when you run your life." (I have crazy family problems that limited my time with him) Two weeks after we broke up, he got a job and I've noticed on his facebook that he's already been hanging out with some new girls. He has been talking to me since the breakup, and he has been quiet flirty. Especially last week, he talks like we never even broke up. He's said "I love you" a couple times, I told him the same. We skyped a couple weeks ago, and ended up getting naughty. I feel guilty about it to be honest. While we were skyping and I took my top off he said "I can't wait until you're here and I can play with you in person" I am trying my best to handle this well, but deep down, I'm a torn up mess. I live out on a farm with my parents in the middle of nowhere in Florida. I don't get a chance to get out much, and even if I did, I'd have nowhere to go. Plus, I do not have any friends near me. While he lives in Pheonix, has a job, lots of friends, etc. I feel like he's gained so much from the breakup, and I've lost the only person and thing I actually had faith in. I feel so empty, and everything is so pointless to me. He also asked about some guy who has been flirting with me. He said "eh, don't worry about him. You're mine." But I made some sort of status the other night about a guy I kinda like, and he messaged me, and he seemed really jealous. Yet he adds all these beautiful women on his profile, and I see him flirting with them. But I do not say anything, no matter how much the pain hurts. This week we didn't talk as much, and he called me "dude" which I thought was odd. I feel so ugly next to all of those beautiful women he talks to. Some of them are models. I'm just some clumsy little farm girl. Why would he tell me that the distance is killing him, yet he tells me he loves me and flirts with me after we break up? I am so lost here. I want to ask him why he's acting like this but I'm scared that would drive him away. I want him back. I want to be with him. I need him. I can only hope I'll be with him by the time I leave this farm next summer. Please give me your opinions and advice. I am totally lost. I always thought if two people really TRULY loved each other, distance would not matter. Should I count on him? I posted this a couple weeks ago and got only one response. I need other opinions please.
McDonald Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I would love to give you feedback but you have to make your post a little more clear. You said that he wanted to breakup because of the distance... but then you say you were going to let him go. Did you break up with him? or "letting him go" as in he broke up with you and you will accept that? Nevertheless, It seems as if he is stringing you along. He is afraid to lose you and when he sees you moving on in a way, he gets jealous. No matter what it is, what he is doing is not fair for you. Posting pics with other girls after the breakup, but then saying that he still "loves you" What do you define as love LittleDragon? 1
Author LittleDragon456 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 By "letting him go" I meant I let him leave me, so he could be happy. To me, love is being there for someone no matter what. To me, distance is not an issue if there is love. Love unites people together, even if they are thousands of miles apart.
th90 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 If there is love, distance wouldn't be a problem. Enough said. I'll give you a few scenarios. 1) My ex broke up with me after doing 4 years of LDR. We were together for 7 years. At one point, if the love isn't strong enough, the bond is bound to break. He cheated on me eventually. One thing though, he did not string me along like your ex. Reason being he saw how hurt I was when he fed me crumbs during the first week of our break. And for that, I know, at least he really did loved me. We are in NC for 4 months now. 2) One of my housemates is cheating on his gf. He sleeps with the girls alternately. I don't believe any of the girls knows of the other's existence. But he manages to sleep with one of them every night. All I know is he's definitely happy with his behaviour. 3) I have an ex from like 8 years ago who still tell me "I love you" (not the friendly kind). He simply says it to try to get me to sleep with him. What I'm pointing out here is that sometimes we can't explain why they behave the way they do. Your ex is definitely stringing you along. You must go into NC. Read the guide available on this site. I know it's hard at the moment for you, have faith that someone better will come along. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 "Playing you" doesn't cover it. The only bone who appears to be reaping any form of advantage from this - is him. What he is gaining, or why he's doing it - well, I'll be honest, I'm really not sure - but it sure as hell isn't to make you feel better, and what's more, it's not right. I would be willing to bet a pound to a pinch, that he's almost certainly cheating on you. The No Contact guide th90 referred to, is in my signature. It's good stuff. Read it. You're going to need it. 1
Author LittleDragon456 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Do you think his intentions are bad? Like maybe he doesn't mean to string me along? Maybe he actually really loves me and he is hurt as well?
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Is what he is saying different to what he's doing? Actions, darling. Watch their actions, for. as they say, Actions speak louder than Words. He ain't acting like you're the love of his life, is he? Not even 'maybe'..... 1
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