Did you really rekindle what you had or just re-commit to something different?

[stevie_23]

This is for anyone who was a WS but isn’t anymore. If your BS has agreed to continue on in the marriage / relationship after a D-day or confession of infidelity, were you able to actually rekindle what you once had? I don’t really mean in terms of being fully forgiven by your BS, but in terms of feeling how you once did about him / her and the relationship in general.

 

I love my partner dearly, and was a WS up until 3 months ago. My BS does not know anything about my A, but I don’t think I can ever rekindle what we once had. I think sadly, it’s just…gone. Not there anymore. I cannot view her in any kind of sexual way and I do not feel “in love” with her. I know this is normal (to an extent) and it of course doesn’t mean she is lacking anything as a partner or that our relationship is not mostly happy, but…

 

How many of you ex-WS posters actually got back some of what had dwindled away, and how many of you accepted and re-committed to a more companion-like “mature” relationship?

[waterwoman]

Hmmm.... don't know I'll ask H.

 

For me it's different with elements of what we had before - cant wipe out 30 years and remake it all.

[stevie_23]

It also seems ( and I could be very wrong) that it's really hard to figure out what you want in your marriage when you are still grieving the loss of your affair...

 

100% true.