BonitaAppleBum Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 actually my relationship is failing and my exbf or w/e you want to call him made some critical mistakes this week that have destroyed me. I feel so heartbroken that someone who claims to love me did these things to me. I'm not even sure if I love him anymore. and I really don't understand where he's coming from. I am just so hurt and it's consuming me. I've been suspecting or suspicious of him messing with 2 girls. so I finally got fed up after every weekend that girls would tweet him saying how he did this or that and it's like I don't put myself in these situations why do you? so I broke up with him and told him there's no possibility of us getting back together. this was Thursday. Sunday I started coming around and talking sensible and moving closer towards forgiveness. then I asked him how come he still tweets girls he's had sex with. he said 3/4 I have. but one is just harder. and I blew up because I fell out with my male best friend who I messed with in the summer and I never reconciled with him because I knew it made my exbf uncomfortable. but why does he get to talk to this girl? at first he said he never had sex with her. now it comes to find out they did in October. so this whole week I've been crying and just sad. he told me to give him space until Friday. comes to find out he's been talking to his ex and went to birthday dinner with her and talking to the other girl. he says he just needed to see if he still wanted them. he says he doesn't want the birthday ex. but the October girl would be his next option if we don't work out. so I'm like what's stopping you? it's a long distance relationship. she's convenient and pretty and he's already had sex with her. it's clearly hard for him to stop talking to her and it hurts me. like am I not enough? he says he doesn't want to be with her because he loves me and that's just not enough. I don't trust him. I feel betrayed. I feel like he's been disloyal and I would never do that to him, that's not what love means to me. he admitted that he wasn't thinking how he feels and he says that I was accusing him so much that he said he felt like he should do it. He also says that he was angry that I ended things with him and that when I would ask him to explain, I would listen and soon as I heard something I would blow up and he said he just didn't want to fight. he says I made him out to be this person and I didn't respect him when he was loving and sincere and now he has to show me he can be an *******. I just feel like stuck. my birthday is Tuesday and I feel like he's ruined the whole thing while trying to make this girl have a perfect one. he even bought her my fav liquor. I do feel like that I will always be suspicious of both girls because it's so easy to put yourself in a bad situation and then make a real genuine mistake and he seems so naive about this and I feel like he's going to lose me or just get fed up and leave me. I'm not sure if I believe him because these have been terrible times in our relationship and instead of fixing them, he's been going out and I found out that he went out with this ex girl because I found her twitter. he wasn't even going to tell me. I feel just so not loved. and I feel like when I needed him to love me the most, he wasn't there. he's never consoled me or comforted me. he's just letting me go through this on my own and I feel stuck. I feel like do I give him another chance or do I just walk? is it even going to be worth it for me? on the outside looking in it feels horrible. on the inside I feel awful. I'm too embarrassed to even tell my friends. I'm handling this by myself. They told me that LDR never work and they warned me and I didn't listen. I want to move on. I want to trust him and I want to move forward. I am not sure that I can though. If you have time you can read my other post called I am just so fed up.
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 I really wish I could get some help.
pink3000 Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I don't think he needs a second chance to be honest. He's not being loyal to you, and you deserve better. I would walk.
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 17, 2013 Author Posted March 17, 2013 I don't think he needs a second chance to be honest. He's not being loyal to you, and you deserve better. I would walk. I confuse myself with this everyday. One day I'm ready to walk and the next I'm so in love. He hates that I'm flip flopping like this and honestly I do too. Because no matter what he's done it's not fair to keep this back and forth thing up. It's been a week and although I have went through messages and tweets I definitely overreacted with one girl. But the ex thing I can't seem to get past. It angers me. I'm so mad. I don't know if I can get over it and everyday I try. But some days are better than most. He is truly upsetting my anxiety, have not eaten a real meal in two weeks. I don't know. I'm trying to be forgiving. I'm trying to be the love I seek.
thefooloftheyear Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I think what is amazing here is that this guy who is acticg like an immature jackass deserves a second chance, but many other guys who would never dream of disprespecting their gf get ****t on.. You got me on this one... TFOY
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 18, 2013 Author Posted March 18, 2013 I think what is amazing here is that this guy who is acticg like an immature jackass deserves a second chance, but many other guys who would never dream of disprespecting their gf get ****t on.. You got me on this one... TFOY Do you know that I've actually expressed this! I told him maybe we need to separate for a few months and then try to pick things back up to see and if we don't, we don't and if we do great, we'll work on it.
evilarchitect Posted March 18, 2013 Posted March 18, 2013 I feel just so not loved. and I feel like when I needed him to love me the most, he wasn't there. he's never consoled me or comforted me. he's just letting me go through this on my own and I feel stuck. i'm so sorry that you're going through this. i know you love this guy, but he's not giving you what you need, and he doesn't seem open to hearing you out. he actually sounds like a trainwreck, entertaining things with different girls. while you were together? or after? whatever the case, a guy that's worth your time is probably not going to be sleeping with another girl a week after a breakup. shows you where his head is at. you sound like a person that really craves true love and focused attention and nothing you've said here gives me the impression he's a person that wants or can give that. distraction...is the name of the game.
Ruck Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 How important is he to you? Is he worth the risk of being Hurt again? Ask yourself that before deciding.
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 i'm so sorry that you're going through this. i know you love this guy, but he's not giving you what you need, and he doesn't seem open to hearing you out. he actually sounds like a trainwreck, entertaining things with different girls. while you were together? or after? whatever the case, a guy that's worth your time is probably not going to be sleeping with another girl a week after a breakup. shows you where his head is at. you sound like a person that really craves true love and focused attention and nothing you've said here gives me the impression he's a person that wants or can give that. distraction...is the name of the game. Definitely and my car just broke down so I'm stuck at home just really thinking about these things. I go to school too. But when I come home it's like ugh. Everyday I battle with how I feel and what is logical. I feel like I love him. But logically I know he doesn't deserve me and this long distance relationship isn't realistic. It's hurting me. It's making me sick. I have lost ten pounds in two weeks because my anxiety is going haywire. He knows that and he said he feels really bad. But I keep getting his hopes up to crush them the next day when I get mad at everything you know? I know that it's not fair. We have even tried praying with each other. He'd have to be a pretty big ******* to pray on something he doesn't want, but then again married couples take a vow with God and go out and cheat. All these things and my imagination really are destroying any chance I've ever wanted to give him. No he didn't have sex with other people the next week, but he did go on a date with his ex which to me is almost the same thing. It hurts the same. What's even more strange is that he text me the entire night while he was with her. He said he only went to see if he had feelings and he doesn't and he was only there for like 30 minutes. Idk. I just don't think this is for me anymore. I've been being patient on God giving me a sign to move on. But maybe this is my sign and I'm so stupid for missing it. I feel stuck.
Author BonitaAppleBum Posted March 20, 2013 Author Posted March 20, 2013 How important is he to you? Is he worth the risk of being Hurt again? Ask yourself that before deciding. Idk. I feel like we only tried for three months and I reluctantly got with him and every little argument we would have I would say I was done. I wasn't the best girlfriend. Maybe because I didn't want to be at first or maybe because I was a bitch. I'm sure it was hard for him too. I'm not sure if he's that important. I feel like if I don't leave now then I'm going to be even more upset later and self loathing on why I didn't leave when I had the chance.
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