Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 I've been with a fair number of very attractive women. I'm excluding bimbos here - talking about the type you want a LTR with. Here are my comments/advice. Some really beautiful women date some very ordinary looking guys. I rarely see 10's with plain or ugly guys (6 or less), but I see more 10's dating guys that are 7's or 8's, than 10's with 10's. That told me something that I've now learned firsthand. 90% of guys are intimidated and wind up playing the platonic friend bull*****. That never works. You'll just end up being another guy who thumbs and comments on all her random FB updates. The other 10% make a move early. Most of those guys are self-absorbed jerks and players, especially the guys who are 9s and 10s. Those relationships rarely last. Therefore the beautiful girls often wind up in a LTR with the 7 or 8 who isn't a total self-absorbed douche. He's the 1% that made his intention clear early, displayed self confidence, but wasn't just looking for the quick score. You have to be that guy. To me that means make your intent clear very early - that you are interested in her. If she shows any interest, even better if you pull back for the duration of your research project. But as soon as it is over, make it very clear your intentions again. I may get some flack for this but there are two very good books on how to hookup with beautiful women. Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss and "The Mystery Method" by Mystery - read in that order. Not every guy who reads these books is looking to use and abuse women. If you are serious about going after a women that is "out of your league", you need to do something to elevate your game. You're competing against 100 other guys and unless you are the best looking or richest, you need something to help you stand out... Thanks for the constructive post, I appreciate it. I did start reading 'The Game' a while back, but I haven't finished it. I should finish it tonight, actually. That would give me something to do. And yeah, I am pretty serious about going after her. And like you said, I'm not looking to use or abuse this girl, so I think I'm good there. Thank you for your insight.
MrCastle Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 If you are serious about going after this chick then you have to drop this plutonic stuff. You have to be aggressive and make your move. A lot of other guys are probably too scared to approach so you have to stand out by having the balls to go after it. And make sure 100% she is single and not taken, or "it's complicated", or on the verge of taken her ex back or some other nonsense. The more you know about this chick and the sooner you know, the better.
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 If you are serious about going after this chick then you have to drop this plutonic stuff. You have to be aggressive and make your move. A lot of other guys are probably too scared to approach so you have to stand out by having the balls to go after it. And make sure 100% she is single and not taken, or "it's complicated", or on the verge of taken her ex back or some other nonsense. The more you know about this chick and the sooner you know, the better. Well, her FB appears to say that she is single. But how do I go about confirming that? How do I go about asking that without making it seem obvious that I want to be with her?
CryForNoOne Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Well, her FB appears to say that she is single. But how do I go about confirming that? How do I go about asking that without making it seem obvious that I want to be with her? Who cares. If she's not married she's available. 75% of the beautiful women I dated were in a relationship at the time. I often did not realize it until after the fact. If you had 100 girls pursuing you, how likely are you to be single? It's actually better to not ask and not know. If I asked, I have a bit of a conscience and may backpedal, especially if I know the guy or subsequently meet him.
MrCastle Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Well, her FB appears to say that she is single. But how do I go about confirming that? How do I go about asking that without making it seem obvious that I want to be with her? I don't know. I always approach it casually. I think it's weird to say something like "hey do you have a boyfriend?" When I'm getting to know someone I'm kind of silly and laid back in my approach so I'll say something like "So tell me about yourself. What should I know. How's the love department going?" or something like that. I'll ask it in a silly way to get her to chuckle and lighten the mood, then she can open up about what her current situation is.
Barnacle-Bob Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 It's easy. Guys are tripping over themselves to get to the point that you're already at. You've got your foot in the door. So, be cool, be confident, be subtle but suggestive when its the appropriate time to do so. You'll be able to read her in the moment. Be confident, but also be cool, like don't go overboard trying to impress her or compliment her. Just be cool, vibe a little, if she's responsive suggest getting together for a drink at a later time. 1
CryForNoOne Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I don't know. I always approach it casually. I think it's weird to say something like "hey do you have a boyfriend?" ya never ask "do you have a boyfriend". If you want to find out, I'd casually ask a "loaded" question that's sets you up favorably and is slightly flirtatious and suggestive of something you can do for her. Ex. You're talking about food. You can cook, most guys can't. You ask "So does your boyfriend ever cook for you?" Hopefully she either answers "I don't have a BF" or "Not really". In either case, you can reply "We'll I'd cook for you every night. I make a mean lasagna and tiramisu". 2
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I've been with a fair number of very attractive women. I'm excluding bimbos here - talking about the type you want a LTR with. Here are my comments/advice. Some really beautiful women date some very ordinary looking guys. I rarely see 10's with plain or ugly guys (6 or less), but I see more 10's dating guys that are 7's or 8's, than 10's with 10's. That told me something that I've now learned firsthand. 90% of guys are intimidated and wind up playing the platonic friend bull*****. That never works. You'll just end up being another guy who thumbs and comments on all her random FB updates. The other 10% make a move early. Most of those guys are self-absorbed jerks and players, especially the guys who are 9s and 10s. Those relationships rarely last. Therefore the beautiful girls often wind up in a LTR with the 7 or 8 who isn't a total self-absorbed douche. He's the 1% that made his intention clear early, displayed self confidence, but wasn't just looking for the quick score. You have to be that guy. To me that means make your intent clear very early - that you are interested in her. If she shows any interest, even better if you pull back for the duration of your research project. But as soon as it is over, make it very clear your intentions again. I may get some flack for this but there are two very good books on how to hookup with beautiful women. Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss and "The Mystery Method" by Mystery - read in that order. Not every guy who reads these books is looking to use and abuse women. If you are serious about going after a women that is "out of your league", you need to do something to elevate your game. You're competing against 100 other guys and unless you are the best looking or richest, you need something to help you stand out. Practice makes perfect. I have a much better chance of getting a date with a very attractive women now than I did two years ago, versus five years ago... Those statistics make my head hurt. I think you mean "If you see a pretty girl, make a move." Is that a good summary? 1
Author Desensitized Posted March 30, 2013 Author Posted March 30, 2013 *Update* So a couple of weeks have passed, and it seemed that she wasn't digging me too much. However, I stopped contact with her about 3 days ago, and she hit me up earlier to ask me out for coffee. Score?
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 You keep saying beautiful beautiful beautiful. Sounds like thats why you are so interested in her. This is the reason why I think men are so shallow. Men (initially) base their attraction off of appearance. That's how Nature works. Men are as shallow as women.
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 You keep saying beautiful beautiful beautiful. Sounds like thats why you are so interested in her. This is the reason why I think men are so shallow. And we want them to REMAIN beautiful throughout. Just kidding... I know better. 1
pbjbear Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 The sad truth that most women are in denial about is that for a guy to have strong feelings for you you have to be "out of his league" or "strikingly beautiful." Kimberlydoll is right. Ive read scientific studies that show marriages where the woman is more attractive than the man are more successful and it didnt matter how rich they were or what their personalities were like. If this woman was slightly above average looking, this original poster wouldnt be all in cahoots about her.
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 hah. If I knew you were going to go into detail, I would have written more so I could have conveyed my ideas all the way through. But yes, you're right, that's how Nature works. Men, to try and get a relationship started, rely on looks to pick their potential partner. It's really all we have to go off of if we don't know the woman in general. Women, being that they are approached constantly, assess men by their status. Which is why you're so confused as to why men are so shallow in the beginning of a relationship. You can't change nature, I suppose. But I mean, I'm concerned with what the girl I'm seeing has to say. Now that I know that we have a 'thing,' I can focus on the personality aspect since the initial attraction phase is done and over with. I guess some men never get over the beauty thing? I know that I've had trouble with getting over a woman's beauty in the past, but I'm trying hard to work towards not making a big deal out of it. Tl;dr, Nature dictates this 'shallowness'. edit: I'm on the phone, so sorry if my thoughts are scattered.
pbjbear Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 (edited) hah. If I knew you were going to go into detail, I would have written more so I could have conveyed my ideas all the way through. But yes, you're right, that's how Nature works. Men, to try and get a relationship started, rely on looks to pick their potential partner. It's really all we have to go off of if we don't know the woman in general. Women, being that they are approached constantly, assess men by their status. Which is why you're so confused as to why men are so shallow in the beginning of a relationship. You can't change nature, I suppose. But I mean, I'm concerned with what the girl I'm seeing has to say. Now that I know that we have a 'thing,' I can focus on the personality aspect since the initial attraction phase is done and over with. I guess some men never get over the beauty thing? I know that I've had trouble with getting over a woman's beauty in the past, but I'm trying hard to work towards not making a big deal out of it. Tl;dr, Nature dictates this 'shallowness'. edit: I'm on the phone, so sorry if my thoughts are scattered. Really? Ok well next time a woman on here says she doesnt want to date a guy who makes 15 dollars an hour, Im gonna reply and say "its just nature dictating this shallowness." Ive done that before, and ooooh men like you write nasty things to me as a result. So you can use evolution to excuse your shallow behavior but women cant? Women are held to higher standards today. Men focus too much on beauty. I get you have to be attracted so Im not saying that isnt important, but for men it goes beyond that. Since us women have evolved past our "golddigger" tendencies are working and contributing, I think men need to step up their game and start evolving more as well. Conclusion: men are the more shallow sex. Women today dont focus on status as much as you think. That is going away. They focus on personality. Edited March 31, 2013 by pbjbear
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Really? Ok well next time a woman on here says she doesnt want to date a guy who makes 15 dollars an hour, Im gonna reply and say "its just nature dictating this shallowness." Ive done that before, and ooooh men like you write nasty things to me as a result. So you can use evolution to excuse your shallow behavior but women cant? Women are held to higher standards today. Men focus too much on beauty. I get you have to be attracted so Im not saying that isnt important, but for men it goes beyond that. Since us women have evolved past our "golddigger" tendencies are working and contributing, I think men need to step up their game and start evolving more as well. Conclusion: men are the more shallow sex. Women today dont focus on status as much as you think. That is going away. They focus on personality. You're angry. The thing is, women are as shallow as men when it comes to a person's status. This is where you can't be all self-righteous because if a guy isn't perceived as a high status male, the woman will leave him. He doesn't need to have an actual high status per se, but he needs to come off like he does. Otherwise, Nature shows that the woman will leave him. So women are shallow, in this respect. I'm not sure why you're getting upset over this, as it's pretty much equal in terms of shallowness when looking at the bigger picture.
pbjbear Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 You're angry. The thing is, women are as shallow as men when it comes to a person's status. This is where you can't be all self-righteous because if a guy isn't perceived as a high status male, the woman will leave him. He doesn't need to have an actual high status per se, but he needs to come off like he does. Otherwise, Nature shows that the woman will leave him. So women are shallow, in this respect. I'm not sure why you're getting upset over this, as it's pretty much equal in terms of shallowness when looking at the bigger picture. Not angry. I just tell it how it is. And this IS how it is in our world. Men feel justified in their shallowness but unjustify women's. Nope you are wrong. YOU sound angry. Most women today are married to men who are NOT high status and continue to be married to them even when they get laid off in today's economy. 90% of women who have husbands who have been laid off in our economic climate have not ended up divorcing their husbands. Stats speak for themselves. You must be thinking of Hollywood.
tbf Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 If she's in high demand, what separates you from the pack?
soccerrprp Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Shoot, I go for the ladies who are in high demand and rarely get them! Lol! But I keep trying! I also check back into reality and do a whole lot better with dating. But one never knows, right?
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Not angry. I just tell it how it is. And this IS how it is in our world. Men feel justified in their shallowness but unjustify women's. Nope you are wrong. YOU sound angry. Most women today are married to men who are NOT high status and continue to be married to them even when they get laid off in today's economy. 90% of women who have husbands who have been laid off in our economic climate have not ended up divorcing their husbands. Stats speak for themselves. You must be thinking of Hollywood. You don't tell it how it is. This is how it is perceived in your world, which is fine. I'm just saying, calling men more shallow than women is a pretty bold claim. Stats? What stats?
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 If she's in high demand, what separates you from the pack? Good question.
xxoo Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 Beautiful people have as much challenge finding love and connection as average people--maybe more, since they need to wade through all the people who only value their looks. Have you developed chemistry with her in your interactions thus far? If she initiated contact and a coffee date, sounds like maybe yes?
Author Desensitized Posted March 31, 2013 Author Posted March 31, 2013 Beautiful people have as much challenge finding love and connection as average people--maybe more, since they need to wade through all the people who only value their looks. Have you developed chemistry with her in your interactions thus far? If she initiated contact and a coffee date, sounds like maybe yes? I understand that. I was thinking that our chemistry may have not been developed when we interacted in person, but it seems that I was wrong? Either way, things are looking up for me.
SJC2008 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 I think both sexes try to get the best they can within their ranges. I hardly ever see a couple where one is sinificantly out of the others league. Let alone all the couples where the woman is better looking like Kimberlydoll says??
jcrew11 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 The one thing that can cause a Roadblock is that you are "working with her" or "her boss" and she might think you are just the creepy guy sexually harassing her. If you are her boss, you should be confident and self-assured and friendly, but you don't want to be creepy or sexual too soon, before she has established comfort being around you. Establish a strong friendship with her, but I don't know if you will be "fired for sexual harassment" if you try to date her.
jcrew11 Posted March 31, 2013 Posted March 31, 2013 *Update* So a couple of weeks have passed, and it seemed that she wasn't digging me too much. However, I stopped contact with her about 3 days ago, and she hit me up earlier to ask me out for coffee. Score? Just work with her on the project - or was that just fake? Some girls just need time to warm up, or dump their BF. Be cocky/funny. If she's not interested now, there might be some night in 3 months that she is lonely and calls you. There is nothing wrong with keeping hot women as friends - worse case scenario they act as wingwomen for you.
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