Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Hello LS, I wanted to ask for some advice. As of currently, I asked a beautiful woman to work with me on some independent research that I am conducting, and she agreed to help me out. She seems very excited about the research as it is a field that is of interest to her, so I am trying to keep things research-related, but also try and get to know her at the same time. Right now, I am on spring break, so I can't really get together with her right now. She wanted to get together over break to talk about the research and stuff, but I told her I wouldn't be in town. So I told her that I'd like to get together for coffee once I am back in town. She said that she could definitely do that and to just let her know what day I'd like to go out for coffee. I think she knows that this isn't a date, which is good I suppose, since I don't want her to think that since I have only been talking to her for about a week and a half. I want to stay platonic for a while, get to know her, and see where it goes from there. The thing is, it seems like she has a ton of friends on FB (most of them being guys), and I notice that a few comment on her statuses, post on her wall, etc., and it does make me realize that perhaps I have some 'competition' haha. My question is, have you guys ever pursued a girl like this that is strikingly beautiful? And if so, how do you go about not messing things up? I've dated good-looking girls, but none of them compare to this girl. So any advice would be appreciated. I think I've done well so far with keeping my cool, and I try to say as little as possible to her, since I do not want to seem as common as the rest of the guys she probably talks to. So I keep the things I say short, and substantive.
Dood Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Man, believe it or not the most attractive women are usually the easiest to date. Check this out bro, all girls have insane self confidence issues. That's like science. Even the most attractive women you will ever meet have self esteem issues regarding their bodies. It blows my mind sometimes. Now, us guys even A type personalities often become nervous around a great looking girl. That is where YOU can get the girl. All you have to do is be confident in yourself, and flirt with her. See where it goes. 1
hppr Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Attractive single women with good personalities will always have guys chasing them around it's not something to worry about and every bimbo has 3000 guys on her Facebook page these days. Going for 'platonic' with a woman to whom you are attracted is a mistake; unless you want to be one of the 200 guys posting on her facebook page of course. You have to show a bit of interest. Send her some emails now with research notes, ask her what she's up to, talk about the stuff you are doing, etc. If you find yourself sending a bunch of texts back and forth one night drunk dial her and talk on the phone. Don't be a dick, don't pester her around, but keep some sort of dialog going so that when you get back and meet up you'll have things to talk about. The only caveat I'd add is that this broad is a complete and total stranger so don't make your wedding plans just yet, she might be a crazy, violent lesbian for all you know. 1
Star Gazer Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 ...it does make me realize that perhaps I have some 'competition' haha. Perhaps you have some competition for a strikingly beautiful woman that you want to keep platonic for a while? 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 This sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen...
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 This sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen... A lot of substance in this post. I like it. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 A lot of substance in this post. I like it. What do you want me to say? A beautiful girl wants to do research with you and you want to keep things platonic. Maybe, kind of, sort of. Maybe not. She's got a lot of guy friends and seem really excited...about the research. I'm not seeing a lot of upside here. For this much of a hail mary, you better hope Rahim Moore is playing safety...
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 No offense but you are probably already in friend-zone. She's beautiful and a facebook attention hoe, probably wants to use you for her research and school work. I had classmates who did that to guys all the time. 1
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 What do you want me to say? A beautiful girl wants to do research with you and you want to keep things platonic. Maybe, kind of, sort of. Maybe not. She's got a lot of guy friends and seem really excited...about the research. I'm not seeing a lot of upside here. For this much of a hail mary, you better hope Rahim Moore is playing safety... You must of misunderstood me. I want to keep things platonic for a SHORT time because I want to get to know her a bit first before I let my interest in her known. I have had bad luck with rushing things, and expressing interest straight off the bat.
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 No offense but you are probably already in friend-zone. She's beautiful and a facebook attention hoe, probably wants to use you for her research and school work. I had classmates who did that to guys all the time. Eh... she doesn't seem like a Facebook attention hoe at all, tbh. She hardly ever replies to any of the guys commenting on her stuff, etc. Use me? I asked her to work with me, not the other way around.
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Perhaps you have some competition for a strikingly beautiful woman that you want to keep platonic for a while? A short while, not very long. I just want to get to know her first before I let my interest in her known. I've had bad luck in the past with expressing interest straight off the bat. I don't want to rush things.
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Eh... she doesn't seem like a Facebook attention hoe at all, tbh. She hardly ever replies to any of the guys commenting on her stuff, etc. Use me? I asked her to work with me, not the other way around. She still added them all right? And trust me, she most probably already knows you're interested in her. You men can't control the expression in your eyes when looking at a beautiful woman. Anyways, I wish it turns out well. The first poster is pretty much right. Be confident and if you're not, just fake it and it might work! 2
hppr Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Man, believe it or not the most attractive women are usually the easiest to date. As a butt ugly guy who's dated really pretty women...what you say is kind of true...really it just comes down to guy's misconceptions about women they view as 'beautiful'. They figure she's an attention whore, or she's stuck up, or that there's something terribly wrong with her in order to make her single. Truth is that until you talk to them you don't know for sure.
hppr Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 What do you want me to say? A beautiful girl wants to do research with you and you want to keep things platonic. Maybe, kind of, sort of. Maybe not. She's got a lot of guy friends and seem really excited...about the research. I'm not seeing a lot of upside here. For this much of a hail mary, you better hope Rahim Moore is playing safety... LOL Yeah, this could blow up quite comically as well...
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 You must of misunderstood me. I want to keep things platonic for a SHORT time because I want to get to know her a bit first before I let my interest in her known. I have had bad luck with rushing things, and expressing interest straight off the bat. And this is where I think the problems will come in. You act like a friend, she regards you as a friend and moves on to some other guy. Or she doesn't move on to some other guy but still doesn't want to date you. I get what you're trying to do. I just don't think it'll work.
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 She still added them all right? And trust me, she most probably already knows you're interested in her. You men can't control the expression in your eyes when looking at a beautiful woman. Anyways, I wish it turns out well. The first poster is pretty much right. Be confident and if you're not, just fake it and it might work! She might know, she might not. I don't think I've alluded to anything that would make my interest in her known, however. I am confident in myself, so thanks for the feedback.
hppr Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 She still added them all right? And trust me, she most probably already knows you're interested in her. You men can't control the expression in your eyes when looking at a beautiful woman. Yeah, but there's some hope for our Lothario there too...if she thought he was some kind of idiot creep she wouldn't have agreed to be anywhere near him...
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 And this is where I think the problems will come in. You act like a friend, she regards you as a friend and moves on to some other guy. Or she doesn't move on to some other guy but still doesn't want to date you. I get what you're trying to do. I just don't think it'll work. Okay. So what do you suggest I do then?
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Okay. So what do you suggest I do then? Honestly, I don't know. You already created this monster with the whole "research project" thing. Since you can't undo that, you might just have to ask her out straight up. I mean after the whole meeting up for coffee thing.
hppr Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Okay. So what do you suggest I do then? Did you even read my post? It was the 2nd one in the thread. Figure out some bull**** reason to contact her and try to get her talking. After you get back from break you'll (hopefully) have some common ground and you can go from there. You will know pretty quickly whether or not she is at all interested in you.
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Honestly, I don't know. You already created this monster with the whole "research project" thing. Since you can't undo that, you might just have to ask her out straight up. I mean after the whole meeting up for coffee thing. What monster are you referring to? I want her to work with me, as I have seen some work that she has done in the past. Yeah, I like her, but I also want to work with her on this. I guess after meeting with her for coffee, I'll try and make my interest in her more apparent. I came on this site to get advice haha, but all of the advice so far (aside from some posts that were actually contributive) has been to take things fast with her, or try and humiliate me in some way. I just don't think rushing into things is a good idea is all. I understand that I don't want to get 'friend-zone', but I think waiting for a couple weeks to get to know her won't hurt me too much.
Author Desensitized Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Did you even read my post? It was the 2nd one in the thread. Figure out some bull**** reason to contact her and try to get her talking. After you get back from break you'll (hopefully) have some common ground and you can go from there. You will know pretty quickly whether or not she is at all interested in you. I did read your post, but I was asking him what HE would suggest, since all he was saying in his earlier posts was not constructive at all.
Revolver Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Women who are "in demand" usually have tons of men pursuing them at once so it would be in a guys best interest to be agressive because you can be lost in shuffle very quickly 1
Star Gazer Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 A short while, not very long. I just want to get to know her first before I let my interest in her known. I've had bad luck in the past with expressing interest straight off the bat. I don't want to rush things. Okay, but make it quick and snappy.
CryForNoOne Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 (edited) I've been with a fair number of very attractive women. I'm excluding bimbos here - talking about the type you want a LTR with. Here are my comments/advice. Some really beautiful women date some very ordinary looking guys. I rarely see 10's with plain or ugly guys (6 or less), but I see more 10's dating guys that are 7's or 8's, than 10's with 10's. That told me something that I've now learned firsthand. 90% of guys are intimidated and wind up playing the platonic friend bull*****. That never works. You'll just end up being another guy who thumbs and comments on all her random FB updates. The other 10% make a move early. Most of those guys are self-absorbed jerks and players, especially the guys who are 9s and 10s. Those relationships rarely last. Therefore the beautiful girls often wind up in a LTR with the 7 or 8 who isn't a total self-absorbed douche. He's the 1% that made his intention clear early, displayed self confidence, but wasn't just looking for the quick score. You have to be that guy. To me that means make your intent clear very early - that you are interested in her. If she shows any interest, even better if you pull back for the duration of your research project. But as soon as it is over, make it very clear your intentions again. I may get some flack for this but there are two very good books on how to hookup with beautiful women. Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss and "The Mystery Method" by Mystery - read in that order. Not every guy who reads these books is looking to use and abuse women. If you are serious about going after a women that is "out of your league", you need to do something to elevate your game. You're competing against 100 other guys and unless you are the best looking or richest, you need something to help you stand out. Practice makes perfect. I have a much better chance of getting a date with a very attractive women now than I did two years ago, versus five years ago... Edited March 11, 2013 by CryForNoOne 1
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