AnotherRound Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 In counseling, we often use a technique called "the million dollar question". It is an attempt to help a client identify where they are trying to go - bc until they know that, there is no way to figure out HOW to get there. I would be interested to hear what other people's answer to this question is... so, here it it. "If you woke up tomorrow, and everything in your life was absolutely perfect, what would that look like?" For me right now, my life is pretty darn close to exactly the way I would want it if I had that kind of power over the universe and others, lol. There are little things I would change (less laundry, a housekeeper, more free time, etc.) - but nothing major. The major parts are pretty good right now. I am successful in my business, making decent money (enough to live on more than comfortably at least!), surrounded by many creature comforts that I appreciate it, a good solid relationship with a man who adores me, good communication with family and loved ones, good friendships, freedoms that I appreciate, etc. Now, a few years ago, my answer would have been MUCH different - especially in the throes of the affair. The answers wouldn't have been what many would assume (to be married to my exMM, for instance, would not have been in that answer!), but definitely different. Anyone care to answer? Sometimes, thinking of it like this, we are able to see a little more clearly where we want to be - which enables us to actually take steps to get there. I think it could be interesting to not only read about what others would answer, but to have some self insight for ourselves too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
promises Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 If I were to wake up tomorrow having the perfect day- there would have been no affair. I'd have never met the xMM. I'd be my old self and open to love again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 "If you woke up tomorrow, and everything in your life was absolutely perfect, what would that look like?" Exactly as it does every day. Life is always perfect. It is only our own perceptions that cloud the picture. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wisernow Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 If I were to wake up tomorrow having the perfect day- there would have been no affair. I'd have never met the xMM. I'd be my old self and open to love again. You're getting there, Promises! Hang tough, and love yourself. ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Well to start off, I'd be woken up by getting a BJ from a hot girl. Things only get better from there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 (edited) For me right now, my life is pretty darn close to exactly the way I would want it if I had that kind of power over the universe and others. Power over the Universe and others does not give us perfection. In actual fact, this would be cripplingly unsatisfactory. Power over others is never truly fulfilling. Power over ourselves is already difficult enough as it is. There are little things I would change (less laundry, a housekeeper, more free time, etc.) - but nothing major. Material things do not bring 'perfection'. In fact, the more 'material' things we have, the less satisfactory life tends to be.... The major parts are pretty good right now. I am successful in my business, making decent money (enough to live on more than comfortably at least!), surrounded by many creature comforts that I appreciate it, a good solid relationship with a man who adores me, good communication with family and loved ones, good friendships, freedoms that I appreciate, etc. These are all as fleeting, and as transitory as a leaf on an oak tree..... They are fragile even in their solidity. There are no Guarantees here. What you mean is that they bring you a transient pleasure. But these things do not create happiness.... Now, a few years ago, my answer would have been MUCH different - especially in the throes of the affair. The answers wouldn't have been what many would assume (to be married to my exMM, for instance, would not have been in that answer!), but definitely different. Yet those things are but a memory now - equally as transitory and fleeting as the things you mention above... Who knows what is 'bad'? Who knows what is 'good'? In all honesty, for you being a Psychologist, the above answers not only surprise me. They're also somewhat worrying.... Anyone care to answer? Sometimes, thinking of it like this, we are able to see a little more clearly where we want to be - If you cannot find Peace of Mind, serenity and Contentment where you are right now - then where else do you expect to find them...? It's not a question of where we are, what we have or what we do. True perfection is discerning something else entirely. The Million Dollar Question you pose, is flawed. The correct question to ask is: Who Are You? Edited March 11, 2013 by TaraMaiden 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Power over the Universe and others does not give us perfection. In actual fact, this would be cripplingly unsatisfactory. Power over others is never truly fulfilling. Power over ourselves is already difficult enough as it is. Material things do not bring 'perfection'. In fact, the more 'material' things we have, the less satisfactory life tends to be.... These are all as fleeting, and as transitory as a leaf on an oak tree..... They are fragile even in their solidity. There are no Guarantees here. What you mean is that they bring you a transient pleasure. But these things do not create happiness.... Yet those things are but a memory now - equally as transitory and fleeting as the things you mention above... Who knows what is 'bad'? Who knows what is 'good'? In all honesty, for you being a Psychologist, the above answers not only surprise me. They're also somewhat worrying.... If you cannot find Peace of Mind, serenity and Contentment where you are right now - then where else do you expect to find them...? It's not a question of where we are, what we have or what we do. True perfection is discerning something else entirely. The Million Dollar Question you pose, is flawed. The correct question to ask is: Who Are You? This post really resonated with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AnotherRound Posted March 11, 2013 Author Share Posted March 11, 2013 Power over the Universe and others does not give us perfection. In actual fact, this would be cripplingly unsatisfactory. Power over others is never truly fulfilling. Power over ourselves is already difficult enough as it is. Material things do not bring 'perfection'. In fact, the more 'material' things we have, the less satisfactory life tends to be.... These are all as fleeting, and as transitory as a leaf on an oak tree..... They are fragile even in their solidity. There are no Guarantees here. What you mean is that they bring you a transient pleasure. But these things do not create happiness.... Yet those things are but a memory now - equally as transitory and fleeting as the things you mention above... Who knows what is 'bad'? Who knows what is 'good'? In all honesty, for you being a Psychologist, the above answers not only surprise me. They're also somewhat worrying.... If you cannot find Peace of Mind, serenity and Contentment where you are right now - then where else do you expect to find them...? It's not a question of where we are, what we have or what we do. True perfection is discerning something else entirely. The Million Dollar Question you pose, is flawed. The correct question to ask is: Who Are You? I feel like you are being argumentative simply bc you have disagreed with my posts in the past - if I'm wrong, sorry! I also wanted to let you know, no need to worry about me or my answers - I am in a fantastic place. I'm not going to go point by point bc you really missed some major points that I thought were quite clear (as I specifically wrote them out regarding what is important to me and what isn't). The technique, nor the question, is flawed - it's a staple in the field and is very effective in helping people decide where they want to be so that they can focus on how to get there. If it didn't work for you, then maybe you aren't clear on where you are trying to go? The OP wasn't for you to have judgment on my answers - there is no judgment with the million dollar question. It is simply a tool used to help each person identify for themselves where they want to be - what changes they want in life. What your life looks like is for you - what my life looks like is for me - your opinion of my values and my life are irrelevant - and I hope that as others answer you don't judge their responses and try to put your own spin on them too - that's exactly the opposite of what this exercise is about. I was answering it to give others an idea on how it works. As a counselor, I ask myself this question almost daily as a check in with my life - where do I want to be? How do I get there? What parts of the world can I control and what parts do I have to simply accept? It's a way to map out my direction, a way to make plans to get where I want to go. It doesn't matter to me that you will end up elsewhere - my answers were about my life - not yours, lol. Anyway, your analysis of my answers is cute, but very odd, imo. Can you answer the question from the OP? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 I feel like you are being argumentative simply bc you have disagreed with my posts in the past - if I'm wrong, sorry! I also wanted to let you know, no need to worry about me or my answers - I am in a fantastic place. I'm not going to go point by point bc you really missed some major points that I thought were quite clear (as I specifically wrote them out regarding what is important to me and what isn't). First of all, I'm not arguing with you at all. Why would you perceive that? is there something you feel you need to defend....? No, I'm merely pointing out that your stance is flawed, because you are approaching the matter from a purely superficial and materialistic angle. Psychology actually investigates the state of the Psyche - the Conscious - so for a state of Mind to be healthy, there has to be a fundamental detachment from such material aspects. Psychology seeks to examine and evaluate the Mind which can transcend and 'rise above' the ordinary, among other things. What you ask - is not founded in Psychology. NEITHER The technique, nor the question, is flawed - it's a staple in the field and is very effective in helping people decide where they want to be so that they can focus on how to get there. If it didn't work for you, then maybe you aren't clear on where you are trying to go? I don't know what kind of course you're on, but trust me, if you're paying for it - you're being robbed. You're missing the point. Psychology is both an applied and academic field that studies the human mind and behaviour. Research in psychology seeks to understand and explain how we think, act and feel. You might be working in a field which specialises in Life Management but it isn't Psychology as understood in the professional field.... The OP wasn't for you to have judgment on my answers - there is no judgment with the million dollar question. It is simply a tool used to help each person identify for themselves where they want to be - what changes they want in life. What your life looks like is for you - what my life looks like is for me - your opinion of my values and my life are irrelevant - and I hope that as others answer you don't judge their responses and try to put your own spin on them too - that's exactly the opposite of what this exercise is about. And again, you're taking this personally and evaluating my response as a judgement. It is not a judgement. it is a factual observation. Are you actually able to counter-argue anything I have stated? I was answering it to give others an idea on how it works. As a counselor, I ask myself this question almost daily as a check in with my life - where do I want to be? How do I get there? What parts of the world can I control and what parts do I have to simply accept? It's a way to map out my direction, a way to make plans to get where I want to go. It doesn't matter to me that you will end up elsewhere - my answers were about my life - not yours, lol. Yes, that's what I found worrying. For someone studying Psychology, the rationale is somewhat confusing... The nub of the question concerns matters over which one has limited control. This is all about dreams, aspirations, hopes and desires. The mechanisms of which lie in Philosophy, not Psychology.... Anyway, your analysis of my answers is cute, but very odd, imo. Can you answer the question from the OP? Thanks! "Cute"...? My analysis, as you call it, is founded in profound teachings that have existed for nearly 5000 years. I'm certain my learned teachers would be amused to hear Buddhist teachings described as 'cute'. Buddhism has been investigating the workings of the mind for that long. It is in fact, the premise upon which much of Psychology is based. And you're not paying attention. I have already responded. See Post #3. Thank you for this thread. It's profoundly revelatory and extremely interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Interesting post, Another Round, thanks. I am trying to answer it and completely drawing blanks, isn't that strange. When I have been very unhappy, this would have been easy. Now I'm pretty content but kind of coasting, a bit lost but too comfortable or lazy to do much about it. Wow, that kind of matches up, doesn't it? No goal, therefore no vision, or maybe the other way around. Hmm. I will have to think about this one... Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 In counseling, we often use a technique called "the million dollar question". It is an attempt to help a client identify where they are trying to go - bc until they know that, there is no way to figure out HOW to get there. I would be interested to hear what other people's answer to this question is... so, here it it. "If you woke up tomorrow, and everything in your life was absolutely perfect, what would that look like?" For me right now, my life is pretty darn close to exactly the way I would want it if I had that kind of power over the universe and others, lol. There are little things I would change (less laundry, a housekeeper, more free time, etc.) - but nothing major. The major parts are pretty good right now. I am successful in my business, making decent money (enough to live on more than comfortably at least!), surrounded by many creature comforts that I appreciate it, a good solid relationship with a man who adores me, good communication with family and loved ones, good friendships, freedoms that I appreciate, etc. Now, a few years ago, my answer would have been MUCH different - especially in the throes of the affair. The answers wouldn't have been what many would assume (to be married to my exMM, for instance, would not have been in that answer!), but definitely different. Anyone care to answer? Sometimes, thinking of it like this, we are able to see a little more clearly where we want to be - which enables us to actually take steps to get there. I think it could be interesting to not only read about what others would answer, but to have some self insight for ourselves too. i dont want a million dollars .i would give a million if i had it..i just dont want to have to say goodbye to anyone who matters, if they suck, ill say goodbye with a smile and a wish you well and not feel so horrible.... then life would be perfect...but considering i dont ever consider my life will be or could be perfection until i pass on because imperfect people cannot have perfection,expecting such is unrealistic, i will continue to say goodbye and think that it sucks.....unless they suck and then its see ya buddy...deb Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Interesting post, Another Round, thanks. I am trying to answer it and completely drawing blanks, isn't that strange. When I have been very unhappy, this would have been easy. Now I'm pretty content but kind of coasting, a bit lost but too comfortable or lazy to do much about it. Wow, that kind of matches up, doesn't it? No goal, therefore no vision, or maybe the other way around. Hmm. I will have to think about this one... My life would be perfect right now if I could only go to Red Lobster and have a big fat dinner from their LobsterFest. Uh, maybe I'll have to keep thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 i dont want a million dollars .i would give a million if i had it.. Psst, Blue~ The "million dollar question" is "What would your perfect life look like?" Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Psst, Blue~ The "million dollar question" is "What would your perfect life look like?" psssssssssst why does it have to be a million dollar question... Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 My analysis, as you call it, is founded in profound teachings that have existed for nearly 5000 years. I apologise - this should read 3000 years, not 5000. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 psssssssssst why does it have to be a million dollar question... LOL, I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 Well to start off, I'd be woken up by getting a BJ from a hot girl. Things only get better from there. I wish I was a guy so that would be all it took to make me happy. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 LOL, I don't know. /smilin...so we win then because i dont know either.......,,,,,why did some really intelligent therapist decide that anything, any question that signified as a life evaluating strategic therapeutic question, needed to have monetary value........to signify importance and status....and i have now forgotten what the original question was in the first place....i believe all therapy should be pro bono...so shouldtn it be.....the pro bono question for everyone .obviously the person who cam eup with this question charges money for the answer.by asking you to solve your own problem and let him know how to make yoru life better...i wanna be told....what i dont already know free of charge...so ill google it.....or ask god...........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 I would be interested to hear what other people's answer to this question is... so, here it it. "If you woke up tomorrow, and everything in your life was absolutely perfect, what would that look like?" Plain Empty Feels like there is no soul or feeling. Just a simple, quiet, life with having enough to take care of whatever issues that may arise. I had nothing for so long that having even a little of what other people has would put me at ease. Anything else is merely an extra like a car, a house, etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 "If you woke up tomorrow, and everything in your life was absolutely perfect, what would that look like?" Well, I think everyone else around me would think it was pretty damn Kafkaesque. Link to post Share on other sites
will1988 Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 If I woke up tomorrow and the world was perfect for me, what would it be like? Well I would be in a relationship with my crush. I would be well off enough to have a decent sized home and have some disposable income... I don't want to wealthy, I want to be comfortable (although, I've always loved Victorian Era Manors... I would want one!). I would be a College history Professor. My novels would be published and big hits. I would be working on writing non-fiction history books... making a new discovery about something major in history that will change the history books. I will be remembered. I want to also make history, and be remembered for ages... How, I do not know yet. Link to post Share on other sites
baRx Posted March 26, 2013 Share Posted March 26, 2013 let's see... if i were to wake up tomorrow morning and have everything 'perfect' it would entail: i'd wake up in my own place. no longer my parents house. in my nice temperpedic bed. i'm undecided if i'd have a woman next to me or not. sometimes i like being single, other times i get lonely and wonder... but this is up for debate. i'd get up, shower & get dressed, then head over to work. ah, work. i'd be the boss. (i'm already being 'groomed' for this, as it's a family business). my buddy mike, whom currently works with me at the moment would be running the show while i came in during the mornings just to oversee and make sure everything was going smoothly. oh, he'd also be my buddy again. i'd leave around 10ish or so, come home and eat some lunch, where the rest of the day is literally at my finger tips. i'd have other friends that are in the same situation as me, instead of the way it is now where i'm the only one with any money to ever do anything. we'd probably go out and BS around and just enjoy life. later, i'd come home for dinner. if i felt like it anyway. if i was in the 'single mood' i wouldn't have to worry about coming home. my pals and i could just go grab something to eat where ever. then, the rest of the evening/night is up for debate. ah, the good life. (this was rushed. i may post again if i find i have more time to put some serious thought into it) Link to post Share on other sites
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