l0ving_x Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 This is going to be a long post, but I need to get this off of my chest, and I need people to help me out. I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 and a half years. We met in senior year of high school and we got along great. We quickly became best friends, and we told each other everything. We were, first and foremost, each other's gf/bf, but also a best friend. Once senior year ended and we knew college was coming, we talked about going into a long distance relationship. Since we loved each other so much we thought we could work through the LDR so we went into college. Luckily, even though we went to college away from home, we went to the same state. Even though it was in the same state, it was a good 8 hours away by a bus and train ride. We visited each other a lot during the first semester of freshman year - almost every month. And during spring semester, even though the visits weren't as frequent, we each spent 2 weeks of spring break together, and even then we thought things were working out fine. Then summer came, and it was also great. Then once first semester of sophomore year hit, things started getting harder. We're both pre-med students so studying is rigorous, but he's trying to graduate earlier and he has a lot on his plate. Surprisingly, even though we didn't see each other as much as freshman year, we fought a lot less. I really wanted this LDR to work so I tried to be as patient as possible, and so did he. But I think studying got worse and worse for him, and when winter break came, he submersed himself in his MCATs. I barely saw him, and we had a long conversation about how things would only get harder from then on, but we would still try. We talked about how our relationship isn't so clear anymore, but we should keep on trying and risk it because we loved each other. He even promised that after med school, and we were still together, he'd ask me to marry him. I know we sound naive and you guys can say that we're too young, but we were such a "study focused" couple that there was no "other boy/girl" for each other to worry about, so we completely trusted each other and thought this was possible. But something must have happened over second semester because he got even more overwhelmed with studying to the point where he was breaking down. He kept hinting what would happen if we just "stayed best friends". He says he doesnt want to lose me, but he can't handle a relationship. My question, though, is what is the difference between me just being even more patient and waiting for him as opposed to just becoming best friends? I don't want to lost him, and I'm afraid that if I let us become best friends, he could move on to another girl and I'll just be stuck with the hope that we COULD get back together again. I won't let myself move on because I love him so much. As long as he is my best friend, I won't be able to. That's just how I work. What should I do? Do you think that if I just wait for him, eventually things will get better? We didn't break up because either one of us stopped loving each other - he said he wants to break up because of the circumstance. And he doesn't want us to risk the chance of getting deeper and deeper into this long distance relationship (he believes that even for grad school and residency we'll most likely not be in the same city - which I know is very true), because we might end up resenting each other. I'm just so sad that the boy who promised to love me forever wants to throw me away in his juggling act.
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