Three days of NC and I'm already going crazy. Need some loveshack support...

March 10, 2013

Me and my ex have been NC for 3 days now....I constantly find myself looking at my phone to see if she'd call or text.....I miss her like crazy and I keep thinking if I just call her or message her she'd remember how happy she was when she was with me.

How do I deal with this?

March 10, 2013

Why did it end post some info and we can judge a bit better..

Keep busy bro ... It's the only way

Stay in the gym or work so hard

Your only fit for bed when u come in .

Don't just sit by the phone it kills u and time drags!

I've nearly 6 weeks !! Still ****ty to be honest tho

March 10, 2013

Im nearly 4 months.

It does get better.

March 10, 2013

Why did it end post some info and we can judge a bit better..
Keep busy bro ... It's the only way
Stay in the gym or work so hard
Your only fit for bed when u come in .
Don't just sit by the phone it kills u and time drags!
I've nearly 6 weeks !! Still ****ty to be honest tho

It ended because of a bad excuse...She got a new job and she said she wants to focus on her job and our relationship would only distract her. She said she just wants to be single right now. I feel it's unreasonable and unfair....I have so much to do too but I still dedicated a lot of time to her.

March 11, 2013

Ok well all I can say is .. If you stay no contact for the momen

Now it's kinda crucial for you .

From my experience when your broken up

Shock , panic and every emotion you can think of

Goes through your head and your not thinking straight.

Like you might thinking calling ,calling and texting will show her how much you care .. But it won't it will probably annoy her and push her away .

You need to take a couple of days to get yourself a little calm and clearer .

I'm not saying NC for ever just for now to help you for a week even.

But here's the rough part she wants to be single and wants space ..

This is where it's tricky .. Alot of people say give them what they want .. You push push right now and u do get her back it might be pity or sympathy .

Maybe give her what she wants you walk away hold your head up high and she might think.. Hang on I've made a mistake !

But the begging , clinging and neediness won't work ..

This is just my opinion if you feel like fighting

For her do it.. But do think logically to she said she doesn't want u right now and so u hear that and still go forcing yourself into her life ..

I'm not been bad just trying to show you some simple logic and preserve your dignity too..

Hope your ok bro !

March 11, 2013

I'm in the same boat you are. I'm finding that it's best to just go about your life and stop checking the phone for texts and emails. I know you want to check every five minutes, but just stop. Put the phone away and train yourself, slowly, to not look at it or pick it up. Keep yourself busy. Do things you enjoy. Go for a walk, listen to music that makes you happy, do something that makes you feel good. Keep yourself busy because checking your phone every five minutes isn't going to help. Train yourself to NOT check your phone. It just takes time and you can do it!

March 11, 2013

How old are you both, chida37?

Please read the No Contact Guide in my Signature.

The first post is the Guide itself.

The remainder of the thread is a huge contribution from members who either felt like breaking, or actually went ahead and broke, contact.

Big Mistake.

Big.

HUGE.

Is this your first relationship, or your first Big one?

When a lady wants space, what she means is enough 'space' to put you both into outer Space.

At opposite ends of the galaxy, probably.

Sadly, you have to adopt the attitude that this one is over.

DNR.

Read the guide.

Then stay here for support and guidance - from all those who have sadly, been there, done that and survived to tell the tale.

March 11, 2013

Tara's words are harsh but true .

Good advice

March 11, 2013

How old are you both, chida37?

Please read the No Contact Guide in my Signature.

The first post is the Guide itself.
The remainder of the thread is a huge contribution from members who either felt like breaking, or actually went ahead and broke, contact.
Big Mistake.

Big.

HUGE.

Is this your first relationship, or your first Big one?

When a lady wants space, what she means is enough 'space' to put you both into outer Space.
At opposite ends of the galaxy, probably.

Sadly, you have to adopt the attitude that this one is over.
DNR.

Read the guide.

Then stay here for support and guidance - from all those who have sadly, been there, done that and survived to tell the tale.

Tara....here's a little background about me:

I'm 20 and before I met her I was.....a player. I hooked up with girls and never called them back, I cheated on girls and never cared. However when I was 19 I found her and I, for a lack of a better phrase "fell in love". I called back all my exes and apologized and made up with them because I realized that I hurt so many people.

Shes 23, she broke up with her ex to be with me. I had no idea they were dating and when I found out I broke up with her. I forgave her and took her back after a few days. We dated for a year, and now shes starting work and she told me that I'm a distraction thus broke up with me.

In a way I feel like this is karma, for the people I hurt.

March 11, 2013

We tried NC before, and it lasted 2 days until she called me crying but i was so excited to get her back i made an immediate move and made myself seem so desperate to have her back in my life. It drove her away....Now we're on NC again this is the 4th day.....The days are really dragging....

March 11, 2013

Tara....here's a little background about me:

I'm 20 and before I met her I was.....a player. I hooked up with girls and never called them back, I cheated on girls and never cared. However when I was 19 I found her and I, for a lack of a better phrase "fell in love". I called back all my exes and apologized and made up with them because I realized that I hurt so many people.

Shes 23, she broke up with her ex to be with me. I had no idea they were dating and when I found out I broke up with her. I forgave her and took her back after a few days. We dated for a year, and now shes starting work and she told me that I'm a distraction thus broke up with me.

In a way I feel like this is karma, for the people I hurt.

OK, 2 things:

First of all, you picked the wrong person to mention 'Karma' to.

Karma - doesn't 'get' anything.

Karma is non-judgemental, critical, or punishing. It does not evaluate, condemn or bring retribution.

Karma literally simply means 'Volitional Action'.

It's just a process. karma is just what you're doing.

It's not a kick in the ass.

Secondly - whatever you bring forward as mitigation, has no purpose or meaning.

Don't look to 'was' to try to save 'is'.

No matter what justifications or clarifications you put forward, no matter what you say to describe how good it was, it's not going to make good, what is.

And one cannot make up for what lacks, in two.

Her reasoning for breaking it up, is immaterial.

to be honest with you, once anyone decides something is over, any further clarification is pointless.

The bottom line is, they want out.

And at the risk of sounding brutal, you're going to have to deal with it.

March 11, 2013

OK, 2 things:

First of all, you picked the wrong person to mention 'Karma' to.

Karma - doesn't 'get' anything.
Karma is non-judgemental, critical, or punishing. It does not evaluate, condemn or bring retribution.
Karma literally simply means 'Volitional Action'.

It's just a process. karma is just what you're doing.

It's not a kick in the ass.

Secondly - whatever you bring forward as mitigation, has no purpose or meaning.
Don't look to 'was' to try to save 'is'.

No matter what justifications or clarifications you put forward, no matter what you say to describe how good it was, it's not going to make good, what is.

And one cannot make up for what lacks, in two.

Her reasoning for breaking it up, is immaterial.
to be honest with you, once anyone decides something is over, any further clarification is pointless.
The bottom line is, they want out.

And at the risk of sounding brutal, you're going to have to deal with it.

Tara Please Read...

I just broke NC because I couldn't take it anymore. When I called she told me that she loves me but after all that we've talked about she doesn't think we could be together....I tried to change her mind by telling her that I don't believe in NC and that I truly believe that as long as I'm genuine and true when I tell her that I don't want to give up, she will change her mind.

Just like you all said....she didn't change her mind....Before I hung up I asked her "look deep down into your heart, I just want you to be truthful to me before I leave, do you really mean it when you say you love me?" in which she responded slow and calm "Yes...I love you" During our talk she kept talking about a girl that is close to me...and said things like "If you really wanted to be with me, you wouldn't have her around as back up" "Maybe you will be happier with her" "She will treat you better". Things like that.

She said "I'm going to go now....bye..." to which I remained silent then she says "could you at least say bye to me?" and i kept silent. She then said "I'm going to go, please at least say bye to me" I said nothing....I hung up and I will not pick up that phone to dial her number again. I've deleted all her contact information and all our pictures and thrown away everything....

Judging by her reaction and replies...what do you think she was really feeling?

March 11, 2013

Honestly?

I think she too has a broken heart.

I think she felt insecure, unloved and that you didn't value her as a priority.

I think she felt jealous, and I think she felt that she was sharing you.

I also think that as YOU broke No Contact, and as YOU contacted her - to not say goodbye at the end of your call, but just hang up, was manipulative, cruel and immature.

But given that you're 3 years younger than she, and that biologically (and this is FACT), your brain hasn't finished 'hard-wiring' yet, being immature may not be something you can necessarily help.

But I think if there was any doubt about you being broken up for good before, there's no doubt about it now.

March 11, 2013

Honestly?

I think she too has a broken heart.
I think she felt insecure, unloved and that you didn't value her as a priority.
I think she felt jealous, and I think she felt that she was sharing you.

I also think that as YOU broke No Contact, and as YOU contacted her - to not say goodbye at the end of your call, but just hang up, was manipulative, cruel and immature.

But given that you're 3 years younger than she, and that biologically (and this is FACT), your brain hasn't finished 'hard-wiring' yet, being immature may not be something you can necessarily help.

But I think if there was any doubt about you being broken up for good before, there's no doubt about it now.

I didn't say good bye because I didn't want this to be the last time we talked...I didn't want to not hear her voice anymore....

However I thought about it and felt bad so I called back, I said my farewells. She told me that I'm not the only one hurting and that she's thinking about me too. She told me about a dream she had last night about us having a child together, she said she was so happy.

I told her about my dream last night, about how I didn't want to wake up because I got to have her in my arms again.

I told her that I won't call her again because I can't have her in my head. She said that she really needs to focus on work now and that I should be supportive of what she needs. I told her even though I won't be able to talk to her I want her to know that I'll always be supportive of her decisions. Even if she dates another guy...to which she said "I'm not going to date anyone anytime soon because I need time to heal too."

We exchanged more encouraging words such as "I know you'll be fine" "I know you'll do great" but when we ran out of things to say...I said "I love you (her name)....good bye" and she said "I love you too....bye..."

From everything that I've heard from her I feel like she still loves me and that maybe one day we could make it work out....I know I shouldn't be hopeful but she made it seem so real... She made it seem like if I just gave her the space she needs and the time she needs to think things through...She'll come back.

What do you think?

March 11, 2013

I think you're trolling now.

Look, you either want advice, or you don't.

As you're ignoring the No Contact advice, I'm assuming you don't.

But it's the only way you'll preserve your sanity, and give yourself - and her - the room you need to move on.

That's what I think.

March 11, 2013

I think you're trolling now.

Look, you either want advice, or you don't.

As you're ignoring the No Contact advice, I'm assuming you don't.

But it's the only way you'll preserve your sanity, and give yourself - and her - the room you need to move on.

That's what I think.

Lol...I wish I could be trolling right now because I'd do anything to be with her again....I'm asking not because I want to move on but because I want to get back with her. I'm so confused, I can hear that she obviously loves me but doesn't know what to do

March 11, 2013

In that case - give her room to breathe.

leave her alone.

For good.

If she really - but REALLY - wants to get it back on with you - she will tell you.

Have you read the No Contact (updated 2013) Guide in my signature?

You really need to read it, and read the whole thread, too.

The thread is made up of posts by people who thought like you do.

That their ex- wanted to come back, that they stood a second chance, that the ex- was making contact....

And it's ALL breadcrumbs.

She may be making the 'right noises'.

But it's the moves bro'.

She has to make with the right moves.

And if what she says is different to what she does - believe the actions.

Not the words.

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Three days of NC and I'm already going crazy. Need some loveshack support...

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