USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I don't think it's a matter of certain races being objectively more attractive than others. I can objectively appreciate that there are plenty of handsome Asian men, yet I rarely find myself attracted to them in a primal kind of way for whatever reason. In general I rarely find myself attracted to non-white dudes. I think it's simply the fact that I grew up around mostly white people so I imprinted on that type of male ideal. The guy I'm seeing now is Venezuelan but of white extraction. I'm sure if I had grown up in an Asian country my preferences would be very different. Sure, we will certainly be attracted to what we are most exposed to. I grew up in a predominantly white area and have lived in one almost my entire life...you can probably guess where my preference lies.
mesmerized Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Something else to consider is that popular media seems to be more liberal in portraying non-white women as attractive, which may broaden their appeal to men across a wider range of races... I really don't know about this, in fact I completely disagree. Maybe it's true about asian men but for every other race not true. Notice how the standard of beauty for men is "tall, dark and handsome" whereas for women being light and having light features seem to be the most popular.
tuxedo cat Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Race plays a huge role in dating and anyone who denies it has their head in the sand. Unfortunately pointing the problem out will do little to fix it. 3
MrCastle Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I really don't know about this, in fact I wholeheartedly disagree. Maybe it's true about asian men but for every other race not true. Notice how the standard of beauty for men is "tall, dark and handsome" whereas for women being light and having light features seem to be the most popular. I think it has more to do with features like hair and eye color and less about skin color/race.
MrCastle Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Race plays a huge role in dating and anyone who denies it has their head in the sand. Unfortunately pointing the problem out will do little to fix it. Well, to first solve a problem, people have to agree that it exists. Now I am not one of those who thinks being non white automatically dooms you for life when it comes to dating, but there is no doubt if I was the exact same person I am now, except white, my dating window would open up. I don't dwell on that, or mope about it. It is a fact and a fact I am aware of.
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I really don't know about this, in fact I completely disagree. Maybe it's true about asian men but for every other race not true. Notice how the standard of beauty for men is "tall, dark and handsome" whereas for women being light and having light features seem to be the most popular. What's "dark"? Black? Tan? Anything non-ginger...? I don't know if the term dark has a race associated with it...or does it...?
tuxedo cat Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Sure, we will certainly be attracted to what we are most exposed to. I grew up in a predominantly white area and have lived in one almost my entire life...you can probably guess where my preference lies. My Caucasian good friend's sister went to primary through high school with non-white kids. She attends a mostly white college now but her boyfriend is black and so are most of her friends. Early exposure really changes everything.
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Race plays a huge role in dating and anyone who denies it has their head in the sand. Unfortunately pointing the problem out will do little to fix it. Well, being able to identify an issue can help one to find solutions. My personal solution? Be more white. Or less Asian. 1
tuxedo cat Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 What's "dark"? Black? Tan? Anything non-ginger...? I don't know if the term dark has a race associated with it...or does it...? Yeah, I'm pretty sure "dark" in the expression "tall, dark and handsome" refers to hair and eye color, with the possible inclusion of olive (but still "white") skin. 1
mesmerized Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I think it has more to do with features like hair and eye color and less about skin color/race. Not really...why do you think black men are considered more attractive compared to black women? Their dark features is less of an issue and in fact attractive to a lot of women. I've had men mentioning skin color as a reason for them not wanting to date black women and I'm not talking just Indian men here lol
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 My Caucasian good friend's sister went to primary through high school with non-white kids. She attends a mostly white college now but her boyfriend is black and so are most of her friends. Early exposure really changes everything. Agreed. People have told me in areas like southern CA, race is almost a non-issue, but growing up on the east coast, I still to this day find it hard to believe, even though I moved to CA last year... Early exposure is hard to break...but so are the insecurities developed from early exposure.
iKING Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Yeah, I'm pretty sure "dark" in the expression "tall, dark and handsome" refers to hair and eye color, with the possible inclusion of olive (but still "white") skin. It all makes sense now. I'm a stereotype. 2
MrCastle Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Early exposure really changes everything. Truth. I have yet to find a white woman in my neighborhood interested in dating me. I spend more time in the city though so this is not a problem. The city gives you more exposure to different cultures. Interestingly enough, the last few white girls who made it painfully obvious they wanted the D, were born and raised in Florida and just recently moved to NY. I am well aware Florida has a huge hispanic population, but so does New York. I hope to plan a trip to Florida soon as one of my good friends goes often to visit family. I would be surprised if the difference is stark in how I would be received over there but you never know.
Author kaylan Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 I really don't know about this, in fact I completely disagree. Maybe it's true about asian men but for every other race not true. Notice how the standard of beauty for men is "tall, dark and handsome" whereas for women being light and having light features seem to be the most popular. By dark though, they mean Mediterranean or Iberian...ie... Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, etc. Basically Southern Europeans
tuxedo cat Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Well, being able to identify an issue can help one to find solutions. My personal solution? Be more white. Or less Asian. I have been attracted to a few non-white guys and it occurs to me that they were all white-acting and dressing. I probably felt subconsciously that we could better relate since the way they presented themselves indicated our backgrounds were more similar. Still, I would find it a turn off if a guy worked like crazy to overcompensate for his race. Being comfortable in your own skin is attractive.
Author kaylan Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Not really...why do you think black men are considered more attractive compared to black women? Their dark features is less of an issue and in fact attractive to a lot of women. I've had men mentioning skin color as a reason for them not wanting to date black women and I'm not talking just Indian men here lol Media sexualizes black men and doesnt do the same for black women. I can bet a million dollars, that if all of a sudden Western media decided to push Asian men as heros and love interest, that women would grow up being more attracted to them. Like someone else said, early exposure matters a lot. 2
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Still, I would find it a turn off if a guy worked like crazy to overcompensate for his race. Being comfortable in your own skin is attractive. Versus creating a skin that you're comfortable in...?
iKING Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Versus creating a skin that you're comfortable in...? It didn't seem to work out too well for Michael Jackson. 2
mesmerized Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Media sexualizes black men and doesnt do the same for black women. I can bet a million dollars, that if all of a sudden Western media decided to push Asian men as heros and love interest, that women would grow up being more attracted to them. Like someone else said, early exposure matters a lot. That's what I'm saying tho. Hokie said media is more liberal about showing non-white women as attractive compared to men and I disagreed. And let's face it, asian women aren't really popular in media either. And I completely agree that media plays a HUGE role in what we find attractive. 1
MrCastle Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I have been attracted to a few non-white guys and it occurs to me that they were all white-acting and dressing. I probably felt subconsciously that we could better relate since the way they presented themselves indicated our backgrounds were more similar. Still, I would find it a turn off if a guy worked like crazy to overcompensate for his race. Being comfortable in your own skin is attractive. Well I think what holds people back as I always say are preconceived notions about race. I don't think every person who doesn't date interracially participates in cross burning in their free time. I think they just look at someone their own race and think "this is easier". They may look at a hispanic and say "well I don't speak spanish and I'm not familiar with spanish culture, it might be awkward", not knowing I personally failed spanish in high school and couldn't put together a coherent sentence to save my life. I also hate spanish food. I think things like socio-economic class, religion, political leanings, etc, are much bigger differences and dividers than race. I grew up in a middle class suburban area. I identify with certain things people not raised in the same environment may not. I connect better with an educated, middle class white female, a lot better than I could a hispanic who grew up in the hood and dropped out of high school. Just because we are both hispanic doesn't mean we can relate. I think people look at others outside of their race and automatically assume there are cultural differences. But race and culture are different. 1
AD1980 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I feel even more pathetic now that my white angle hasnt helped me old Then again im short i guess 1 out of 2 is bad online:laugh:
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I have dated more black guys than not. It has never been due to the fact they were black though. Just gotta have a good personality for me! Of course attraction is essential, but for me attraction is far more than a good body or chiseled face. If you could get a good banter going with me and weren't hideous I would give the guy a chance. Granted, having ones **** together was also something I looked for. Educated men who had a direction in life and were working towards goals has always been something I value. Sure, maybe I am a rare woman when it comes to OLD. That being said, I don't think anyone should rely on OLD to find a match. Everyone I dated from OLD, things never really went anywhere.
tuxedo cat Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 No bragging at all there ...because that's a terrible success rate? once again, that's alot better than what most people get, be very glad and stop whining. Apparently yes. You can't say online dating is bad for minorities because of racism while only listening to dating experiences from minorities. You would need white people to give their experiences so you could compare, and even then it's highly subjective. I am white, and like you didn't fail to mention, I'm having terrible luck in dating. I'm 6"1, in my 20s, got a Master's Degree, make well into 6 figures a year, I'm intelligent, funny and don't have any physical handicaps. Ironically, you had more success with white women in the past than me. So don't come tell me your race makes things tough for you, if race really mattered I would have a dating life and you wouldn't. Have you considered that your blatant racism might be a turn off? If you tell white girls how easy their life is because they're white all the time, they might not appreciate it. Your logic is faulty. Just because you haven't been successful with dating doesn't mean race doesn't play a huge role when it comes to averages. I would guess that a white guy needs to meet a certain threshold of desirability for his whiteness to give him a real boost. If he doesn't meet that threshold his luck will be as poor as any other non-white dude of similar attractiveness.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I have dated men of all races. Definitely could be the way I was raised though. I grew up in an almost all white town though, I hated the lack of cultural differences. As I said... I like men. The end. Race doesn't mean anything to me. People ask me my type and at this point in my life, any man that is a GOOD man in my eyes [meaning has the qualities that I look for in a partner] is a potential mate. 3
Author kaylan Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 No bragging at all there No, no bragging. Im stating facts and responding to your assertion regarding my dating life. ...because that's a terrible success rate? once again, that's alot better than what most people get, be very glad and stop whining.That is bad, and its time consuming and annoying. Nvm the fact that a response doesnt always convert to a date or phone number. Hell, Ive gotten 4 numbers in the last almost 2 months from girls I never met because they fizzled out, or in 1 case I wasnt interested enough. Apparently yes. You can't say online dating is bad for minorities because of racism while only listening to dating experiences from minorities. You would need white people to give their experiences so you could compare, and even then it's highly subjective. Um...white guys of equal attractiveness and career path do better than their minority counterparts. OKCupid already did a study on this and they controlled for attractiveness and compatibility. I am white, and like you didn't fail to mention, I'm having terrible luck in dating. I'm 6"1, in my 20s, got a Master's Degree, make well into 6 figures a year, I'm intelligent, funny and don't have any physical handicaps. Ironically, you had more success with white women in the past than me. So don't come tell me your race makes things tough for you, if race really mattered I would have a dating life and you wouldn't. I think you could say Ive had more success with women as a whole. Not just white women. Its just that my locations and hobbies make it as such that white women are the women who tend to be around me. Obviously my personality is prolly why Im dating more than you, but you miss my point. A white version of me would do TONS better. Hell, I have white friends who are comparable to me in terms of education, interests, personality, and looks...yet they out do me. Have you considered that your blatant racism might be a turn off? If you tell white girls how easy their life is because they're white all the time, they might not appreciate it. Are you daft? I dont bring up race to women I date. If it comes up, its because they bring it up...and its always light hearted. I dont tell them how easy or hard other people have it. Lol @ your accusation of racism. I love how white people try to paint minorities as racist for ever daring to say that race plays a role in certain areas of their life. Some of you folks would just love us to shut up because it makes you that uncomfy huh? Anyways, this thread shouldnt be just about race. I made two other points. One about my own perceived attractiveness, and another about womens expectations when using OLD and possibly waiting for their mr perfect. Lets discuss that too folks.
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