Maybe I inflate my own attractiveness too?

[mesmerized]

Another set of trends created by okcupid. Race does appear to matter to most people, particularly white men and women. It's embarrassingly and unfortunately obvious, in these statistics.

 

How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get « OkTrends

 

haha based on this, middle eastern women have the highest response rates, particularly from white men. Strange but good for me I guess.

[kaylan]

To be honest, last year was a hotbed of cuckold messages from white women aged 28 and up - that was a weird experience.

 

The easiest women for me to message surprisingly is mixed raced women - they seem to be much easier to message and converse with.

And let me add,

 

But you see, I want to avoid those women. A good amount of white people see blacks and some other races as suitable for sex, but not for relationships. Screw that, Im no ones fetish.

 

Ive heard white guys outright say theyd screw a black girl but couldnt date her, and then not be able to give me a good reason why. But theyll date an Asian girl though

[StanMusial]

Youre not tall which deducts a point from the begining just being honest from hearing women talk and with online dating heights even more of a commodity for men

 

You know, I never thought about it in these terms before, but the worst possible scenario in the dating scene for men is to allow women to browse/eliminate men on attributes of their physical appearance.

 

It could do women a disservice as well. That guy out there that might be 5'8" or 5'9" but has a GQ model face would be eliminated in if she searched for 5'10" or above.

 

It's just unrealistic if you ask me.

[Million.to.1]

Just from a girls perspective.... Guys post terrible photos of themselves on OLD sites...

 

I was heavily judgmental of photos on OLD (not that i use it anymore, cause it's a massive waste of time) because the photos were never a fair representation of them... They were always WAY better looking in photos (they'd picked 1 or 2 they looked AMAZING in ) and then it was a let down when you met them IRL, or their photos were just terrible... pics of them with their car, or with their shirt off in front of a mirror.... wearing a silly costume with a beer in their hand. Photos are the first thing that make a woman look at your profile.. then if it's a good read and it makes them smile or laugh..it's a win... and by a win, it means you might have a conversation online.

 

Basically, OLD lets woman sit in their pajamas and shop for men. They are basically hoping to stumble across Jonny Depp, let's be honest.

 

You'll always have better luck in real life meeting. Attraction for woman is very rarely established from just photos or appearance... there is an X factor that only comes from the real person and how they fill their body. You know what i'm saying....

[Eggplant]

To be honest, last year was a hotbed of cuckold messages from white women aged 28 and up - that was a weird experience.

What are "cuckold" messages? Were they trying to have an affair?

[kaylan]

I dont deny theyres alot of white women who wont date black men but there are a lot who will

 

Really? Where?

 

And I mean date, like relationship...Not just screw.

 

Part of the reason I feel me and my ex failed was due to the pressure her mom put on her for dating out. Me and my ex had our own issues in the relationship, but I really feel that she didnt see me as someone for her long term...and that her family played a role in that. Her dad was cool about it, but her mom wasnt...and I had to be hidden for grandparents as well.

 

Family and society can be backwards. Kinda makes me weary of ever dating an Italian girl again.

I can see an Indian or Oriental complaining because for whatever reason they are on the bottom of the male attractivness totem pole to women but a black guy shouldnt have that much issue if hes attractive

Guess Im an ugo lol

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

You know how people sometimes say that folks may think they are more attractive than they really are? Well after my last couple months on online dating, in addition to having used it on and off for the last few years...Im wondering if thats the case for me too.

 

I mean, Id like to think Im a catch...I think Im between average looking and cute facially, Im average height, Im in good shape, Im funny and empathetic, Im educated, I work, and I dont have any major issues or baggage (drugs, kids, ex drama, etc). I have a good profile too with some good pics. Yet for some reason I have to send out way too many first messages just to get a response.

 

Its leaves me thinking its 1 or more of these things:

 

1. Girls arent finding me facially attractive. And tbh, I feel like the face matters much more to girls than a good body...but Im not really a slouch in either department. But my success rate leaves me wondering if girls find me ugly. Sure I havent been having long dating droughts, but I dont wanna have to go through loads of rejection just to enjoy an active dating life.

 

2. Id be good enough in person, but in OLD, girls wait it out for butterflies and a match that fits their list better. I mean, I can see the point many guys have made with girls passing on many good guys because they are waiting it out for a guy who ticks every box or gives them butterflies. Because the girls who view my profile and then dont respond, are women I know I could land in real life.

 

Its like people expect online interactions to give them the same feelings as when they meet people in person. Plus text doesnt really capture personality well. But OKCs questions and profile layout does a decent job...but its not like I have any major deal breakers in my profile or questions. Its just weird when I have girls pass me over who I know sometimes arent even at the level of women Ive gotten in the past.

 

3. Im really starting to wonder if a white version of myself would be doing much better. Because lets be real...for the most part, being white on OLD is a pretty good leg up. If not only for the fact that whiteness is conflated with attractiveness and desirability in the media and throughout much of the world.

 

Nevermind the fact that many girls match question answers say they prefer a guy of the same race, or they say in their profile they only like white dudes. I mean, when most women in my area are white, this presents a dating challenge. I tend to only date the girls who answered that question indicating they are open to other races, but still with no success. Because lets be real, theres no way to pin that down. They can be open to a Latino dude, but not open to a brother.

 

But seriously, I couldnt see myself having this much trouble if I was my same self, but racially different. An educated white dude with a gym body, long hair, decent height, same facial attractiveness, educated, job, plays guitar and bass, has varied intellectual interests and social concerns, etc. I mean, I generally just roll with it, but Ive known guys who have less going for them do a good deal better than me online...and I cannot put my finger on it other than women just automatically being more open to dating them since the IR dating thing wouldnt be an issue.

 

I mean, Im just wondering which of these numbered reasons is the reason Im not doing as well as I feel I should. Like I dont think Im an Ebony Adonis or anything, but Im no sewer dweller either.

 

I have a black friend that does well on OLD. It took him months though and he actually developed a method for getting girls there.

 

This is how most of my friends that are successful online have done it. They messaged a lot of girls, noticed patterns, came up with a plan, and proceeded from there.

 

Too much work for me because I like the rush I get from meeting women IRL, but some guys like it.

[kaylan]

I have a black friend that does well on OLD. It took him months though and he actually developed a method for getting girls there.

 

This is how most of my friends that are successful online have done it. They messaged a lot of girls, noticed patterns, came up with a plan, and proceeded from there.

 

Too much work for me because I like the rush I get from meeting women IRL, but some guys like it.

Share this method.

 

So message them! Just because they don't write a message doesn't mean they aren't interested. I'm on OKC. I don't browse any profiles, but simply see who messages me. Women may be shy.

Notice I said "respond". As in I messaged them first, then they view my profile, and then dont respond.

[SteveC80]

You know, I never thought about it in these terms before, but the worst possible scenario in the dating scene for men is to allow women to browse/eliminate men on attributes of their physical appearance.

 

It could do women a disservice as well. That guy out there that might be 5'8" or 5'9" but has a GQ model face would be eliminated in if she searched for 5'10" or above.

 

It's just unrealistic if you ask me.

 

Women have the power on those sites so they are gonna try to shoot of their league

[kaylan]

Take a look at the demographical statistics for OkCupid. It might answer some of your questions.

 

OkCupid.com Review with Web Stats, Demographics and Price

91 % white? Wow...how come they are so overrepresented on that site? I need to check OKCs blog to see if this is correct. I would have never thought it to be that high.

[SteveC80]

Really? Where?

 

And I mean date, like relationship...Not just screw.

 

Part of the reason I feel me and my ex failed was due to the pressure her mom put on her for dating out. Me and my ex had our own issues in the relationship, but I really feel that she didnt see me as someone for her long term...and that her family played a role in that. Her dad was cool about it, but her mom wasnt...and I had to be hidden for grandparents as well.

 

Family and society can be backwards. Kinda makes me weary of ever dating an Italian girl again.Guess Im an ugo lol

 

Im just going by what i see and white women when there not with white men its usually black or hispanic men before any other group

 

Im not denying your experience and pressures im just saying its alot more prevalent white women/black man then other etnhic groups being with white women

[ThaWholigan]

What are "cuckold" messages? Were they trying to have an affair?

 

It was white women who had boyfriends and they both shared the fantasy of her being f*cked by a black man, preferably tall, somewhat built and well-endowed. She would get f*cked, and the boyfriend would watch.

 

Not really my cuppa....

[MrCastle]

91 % white? Wow...how come they are so overrepresented on that site? I need to check OKCs blog to see if this is correct. I would have never thought it to be that high.

 

Keep in mind the results are from 2009. Four years ago. I'm sure those numbers are a bit different now. Okc is geared towards whites. I'll just say that.

 

There is no other reason why before I signed up and put my zip code in, all they displayed were attractive, white hipsters. And once I actually joined, my results were almost exclusive blacks and hispanics.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Share this method.

 

 

Notice I said "respond". As in I messaged them first, then they view my profile, and then dont respond.

 

It's different for everybody. My friends have vastly different styles that they got from working at it.

 

That's like someone saying "Make me rich." Well, it's not that simple...

 

Success comes with experience.

[Eggplant]

It was white women who had boyfriends and they both shared the fantasy of her being f*cked by a black man, preferably tall, somewhat built and well-endowed. She would get f*cked, and the boyfriend would watch.

 

Not really my cuppa....

 

Everybody has fantasies, but this one seems deranged. OKC is the wrong site.

[Eggplant]

Really? Where?

 

And I mean date, like relationship...Not just screw.

 

Maybe I'm different, but I would think most women's hearts lay where they put their (not money).

[ThaWholigan]

Everybody has fantasies, but this one seems deranged. OKC is the wrong site.

Actually this was POF.

[StanMusial]

I'm sort of confused by some of you guys. Are you black and want to date white? I saw a lady in the drug store yesterday who was black and she was really pretty. I see attractive black girls all the time.

[MrCastle]

I'm sort of confused by some of you guys. Are you black and want to date white? I saw a lady in the drug store yesterday who was black and she was really pretty. I see attractive black girls all the time.

 

I can only speak for myself. I'm hispanic and would date anyone who I find attractive.

 

The problem is, not everyone feels that way. Especially when it comes to OLD, for some reason.

[ThaWholigan]

I'm sort of confused by some of you guys. Are you black and want to date white? I saw a lady in the drug store yesterday who was black and she was really pretty. I see attractive black girls all the time.

No, I actually prefer black/mixed women. But I am open to dating white women.

[tuxedo cat]

I recently signed up for an OKCupid account and the A list option allows you to filter by star rating. I took a look at guys who had 5 star averages. You would be surprised by the number of them who aren't traditionally handsome. I'm wondering if something else about your profile needs a makeover?

[USMCHokie]

I can only speak for myself. I'm hispanic and would date anyone who I find attractive.

 

The problem is, not everyone feels that way. Especially when it comes to OLD, for some reason.

 

I'd go out a limb here and say that men generally tend to be more openminded when it comes to race...

[StanMusial]

I can only speak for myself. I'm hispanic and would date anyone who I find attractive.

 

The problem is, not everyone feels that way. Especially when it comes to OLD, for some reason.

 

Point taken.

[MrCastle]

I'd go out a limb here and say that men generally tend to be more openminded when it comes to race...

 

Yeah. Ironically though, OKC studies show that 1.) white males get the most messages but also 2.) least likely to message back

 

Maybe 2 has to do with 1. In any event, it showed white men and white women were the least likely to date outside of their race, with white women being the least likely overall, of either gender and any race.

[USMCHokie]

Yeah. Ironically though, OKC studies show that 1.) white males get the most messages but also 2.) least likely to message back

 

Maybe 2 has to do with 1. In any event, it showed white men and white women were the least likely to date outside of their race, with white women being the least likely overall, of either gender and any race.

 

Something else to consider is that popular media seems to be more liberal in portraying non-white women as attractive, which may broaden their appeal to men across a wider range of races...