honestanswers Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I was shopping in a mall one afternoon when a certain young man walked up to me and greeted, we talked about few things while we walked around and out of the mall together. He walked me to my car, we exchanged numbers and departed. He called the next day and since then we talk on phone or text once in a while. But the relationship hasn't gone anything more than that. I like his person and would love to start a dating and if possible marriage relationship with him. Most of the times, I call he doesn't pick, and he responds to text once in a while too. I got bored with this and stopped but he still calls me say once in two or three weeks... whenever he feels like. I am wondering why he still keeps in touch even when I no longer show interest in him like before. He doesn't want to ask me out and he doesn't want to stop calling when he feels like. I thought of ignoring his calls to enable me forget him and move on but I felt like I should get opinions, especially from his fellow guys. What could be the reason why he doesn't seem to be interested in pursuing a relationship with me, still he hasn't stopped sporadic communications with me? Last night he called and we spoke for 47mins, he asked me what's going on in my new job. I told him how my boss has being very nice to me... giving me extra hours to make more money and trying to also make my job easier for me. He said I should be careful, when I asked why. He was like "You are a very beautiful lady. He is a man and must like what he sees in you. His kindness might be a way of trying to get you. With time, he will come out with what he wants and if you refuse he might change and start treating you opposite of the way he is now". That makes sense to me though but I wondered if he sees that in me and I have shown him interest that I like him too. Why doesn't he want to take advantage of that or just stop contacting me?
Dragonfruit Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) I pay much more attention to what someone does than what they say. My take on it, from what you've posted, is that he is not really interested but calls you when he's bored and doesn't have anyone else to talk to. And doesn't bother to answer when you are the one who wants to chat? Him saying you're beautiful is nice but it's still just easy words and not even an invitation for a date. I would find it hard to believe he does not understand that you are interested in him. If he was interested, I think he would have simply asked you out. Unless he is very young and shy or has a condition that interferes with understanding social cues like Asperger's, I would stop with him, as you had mentioned. Otherwise you just get more connected when it's leading nowhere. A couple more things that may be nothing but just kind of stood out to me- He just walked up to you at the mall and started walking around with you? That seems kind of odd to me. And I thought it was also kind of surprising that you haven't even been out on a date with this guy but you mention you might possibly like to marry him. ? Finally, have you considered joining one of the online dating sites? I think it is nicer to have more than one hope going, so if it doesn't pan out it doesn't hit you as hard. Good luck. Edited March 10, 2013 by Dragonfruit 1
The_Face Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 The guy sounds interested in you. Maybe not in the way you'd like, but clearly he has some interest in you, simply in the fact that he calls. Sure, he may just be bored and have no one else to talk to, but he chooses to call you. I wouldn't read too far into anything, though. Him not answering could be because he's busy, maybe he is trying to give off the impression he's busy, it could be anything, really. And the thing about him speaking of your boss, it's kinda strange. Not necessarily a bad thing, but my personal opinion based on what you wrote, is that could be one of his ways of letting out a little bit of how he feels about you. It's like he's using your boss as a way to communicate his own feelings, and maybe, he's a little jealous. This could also have a number of possibilities, maybe this guy is just very pessimistic and feels protective over women he barely knows. Who knows? The fact is, whether he is interested or not, OP, you are. Could just be a phase, but the fact you mentioned this guy possibly being marriage material (not your words, I know) shows me that you are at least a little interested. So.... Why not pin him down and ask him how he feels? At least then, you'll know. 2
Author honestanswers Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Guys, Thank you very much for your comments. I have decided that I want ignore him and keep moving on with my life. If he sincerely wants anything more, when he asks we will take it from there... that's if I am not with someone else then though! 1
The_Face Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 honestanswers, it sounds like you've made a choice that will allow you to continue living your life without getting emotionally hung up on somebody, which is great. Like you said, if the guy likes you, then he'll let you know, somehow, and if not, that's on him. Either way, you're living your life. I can understand not wanting to spend all your time with someone who isn't giving you 100% clear signals on what he wants/ thinks of you. You can only play that game so long before someone needs to make a move. And you've made one. Good luck in any future relationships. Come back here if you want anyone else to share with, talk to, etc. 1
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