Lonelystar Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 hey everyone. Well, I have some problem I sure could use some advice on. I was with this guy that I loved, for about 4months now but I don't want to be with him anymore. We planned our futures together , but I just feel like i'm being trapped into the relationship. I feel like i can't leave because every time i try to break up with him he starts to cry and says things like " well, i'm not going to eat" or "i'm going to hurt myself". Is there anyway I can leave without going through this. Should I just be mean to him ? or should I try and explain to him why I don't want to be with him?
amerikajin Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 I wish there was some way to negotiate a breakup without pain, but that's only possible when both people agree that the relationship isn't benefitting them. Most of the time, one person wants the relationship to continue; the other doesn't. In that situation, unfortunately, one person has to explain to the other why they aren't compatible, and the other person doesn't want to see it the same way. You don't really have a choice here. There's no easy way except to tell the truth. He has to accept your decision.
Stone Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 OK I see three issues here #1 Why we're you planning your lives togeather after only 4 months? That is not enough time to get to know anybody to even consider the fact #2 He's telling you he is going to hurt himself because he is trying to hold on to you for some reason and want's your compassion #3 That's mental abuse.. Just do it and stick to it. If he says he is going to hurt himself or whatever you can't stay with him for his protection. he probably wouldn't do anything anyways. It's just for attention. Sorry to be insensitive about it but you can't let fear hold you back. Good thing your getting out.
Author Lonelystar Posted September 7, 2004 Author Posted September 7, 2004 well, he wanted to have kids and be together. I liked him so i said maybe one day.... i did love him, but i feel to young to be held back in a relationship. Yeah i'm just going to do it. He is going to cry and I will feel bad but it has to be done.
Starnette83 Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 sorry but sounds like ure forced into this relationship, dont care if he cries, sorry that sounds mean but u cant be with hinm if u dont want to, just be like "im sorry, i know we had a good relationship but i just dont want to be in this anymore" he might cry and do stupid stuff but dont blame yourself....if hes making u feel guilty over a 4 month relationship thats creepy
snilljente Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 I think that it is important that you are honest, sit down with him, explain your feelings, etc...being mean, or just blowing him off is only going to make it worse and hurts even more..take it from someone who got blown off this summer by someone who supposedly adored her...at least that's what he said, what his actions revealed and what I and everybody else thought...When ever I would ask him if he wanted to break up, he would say no, but he just kept distancing himself. I would have killed for a little bit of honest, of him just telling me the truth about what was going on for him..instead I found out via a third party that he was with someone else..not sure why he couldn't just tell me...so, just tell him..he will hurt, but it is bette to do now than when you both have even more invested in the relationship....I didn't understand the comment someone made about "if he makes you feel guilty after 4 months, that's creepy"...For me, it's always been the connection that I have had to someone that has made the breakup hard, not the length of the relationhip....
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