marklarsson Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 It is what people associate with these actions. Everything has to be placed in context. For example, looking at cheating. There are many reasons why people cheat one of them is because say the person has commitment issues or no longer finds thier partner sexually attractive. Now this can be treated completely differently to the person having a terrible month at work co worker flirts one night stand. There is a disassociation here with the love person has for thier partner and the reason why they cheated. It is how the partner takes it. See most will just see cheating as cheating no matter what the reason. But the point I think the OP. is making is that if you truelly love someone you will help them find out and solve the reason why they resulted to cheating especially if it has nothing to do with them not loving you
ThatJustHappened Posted March 16, 2013 Posted March 16, 2013 And i am sorry but if you love somebody, then you do not turn around and say it is up to them to fix it, they did not cause their pain in the first place, and if you cannot help them rid themselves of their pain, then you do not deserve to be with them, regardless of the abuse or hurt you have felt from them, because all that abuse and hurt is not intentional, it is battle for them and if you cannot understand that a person who has these issues is desperately finding a way to rid themselves of this hurt, because all they want to do is be the person you love and give you all their love, then you are truly blind. If you hurt someone so much, you will take away their trust in people, and if they hurt someone because of their lack of trust, it is generally a load of questions, accusations, verbal nonsense, which yes i agree can hurt someone emotionally, but it is not a real intent to cause someone pain, for them it is a battle in the mind of whether they are going to get hurt once more, and they become oblivious to what they are doing because they are so consumed by their confusion. These people need support until they can heal, they do not need a whole bunch of 'its your problem, you need to fix it or else im leaving you, you have hurt me', that is a disgusting response, these are good people who have been treated like s*** all their lives and they need someone to say 'look you hurt me with your words and accusations and lack of trust, but i know it is not you, and i know it is not your fault, so i will be by your side until you finally get rid of that poison in your head because i know you are an amazing person in there, thats why i love you' !!!!!!!!! So you're saying that people should stay in abusive relationships because the abusers are emotionally damaged?
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