Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I know I'm always rejected, never had a relationship, and a complete virgin, but I keep trying despite every woman I meet being uninterested, even after reducing standards no woman ever seems to be interested in me in the slightest for example today zero interest and I don't even know what I'm doing wrong since I never get far enough to find out. So after a moment of self reflection I realized perhaps my situation isn't actually that bad and more of a hidden blessing. Sure I probably won't experience the some of the joys that others experience, but really now that I think about it women will only hold me back. I'll have to invest a ton of time, money, and energy into the relationship, then deal with all the bad that comes with a relationship like the inevitable break-up, and other potential painful issues plus there is a high chance of ending up with a terrible woman that will just make my life worse. So while I will never experience the joys of companionship I won't experience the pains as well plus I can focus more on other issues so its possible to advance even further in life faster while those around you are focusing on building a family or chasing women. Also because of my religious beliefs I'll never have sex until marriage but since women aren't attracted to me and unlikely to be interested in a relationship with me and I'll never visit prostitutes, I'll never have sex and stay a virgin for the rest of my life. While this doesn't appeal to me since I do have sexual desires, I also realize sex really isn't worth it, sure it could be fun, but at what cost, and it really won't make my life any better. So for the struggling guys here perhaps your dating woes aren't actually a bad thing but more of something good that's happening in your life.
MrCastle Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I think that's a dark post. You're already sealing your fate. I used my initial failures as lessons. Every time I messed up I took note as to why. Because of this, I am able to get most any woman I truly set my eyes on. The only time things don't work now is if she is taken or has some other issue that I can't get past. No longer is it because she's not interested or I'm being friend zoned. The failures helped strengthen my game. 1
Author Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) I think that's a dark post. You're already sealing your fate. I used my initial failures as lessons. Every time I messed up I took note as to why. Because of this, I am able to get most any woman I truly set my eyes on. The only time things don't work now is if she is taken or has some other issue that I can't get past. No longer is it because she's not interested or I'm being friend zoned. The failures helped strengthen my game. For me unfortunately I never really find out what happened, I try different things but it doesn't really do much. Its probably because I'm rejected so often and quickly (I've only been on a handful of dates most of the time I'm rejected way before then) without much explanation (I'm always told I'm such a nice guy but nothing good comes of it unfortunately). But after sitting down by myself for awhile I feel like I can understand now, perhaps it is for the best, and maybe this could work in my favor, I trade in love, pleasure, and companionship in for knowledge, wealth, and power:lmao: (yeah probably not). But at the very least there is at least one benefit I don't get the bad that comes with relationships I guess. Edited March 10, 2013 by Necris
Mrlonelyone Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Necris, read about the life of Sir Issac Newton. Our information on his personal life is sketchy and incomplete. All we really know is that he never got married. He seems to hare done what you describe. He may have just written off women. Instead he loved his work. Thanks to that we have the modern world. On the other hand, Pierre Curie had fort about given upon finding a "woman of genius" until he met Marie. Together they did grot things. One of their daughters even won a Nobel prize. 1
Author Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Necris, read about the life of Sir Issac Newton. Our information on his personal life is sketchy and incomplete. All we really know is that he never got married. He seems to hare done what you describe. He may have just written off women. Instead he loved his work. Thanks to that we have the modern world. On the other hand, Pierre Curie had fort about given upon finding a "woman of genius" until he met Marie. Together they did grot things. One of their daughters even won a Nobel prize. Why yes I've heard of these scientists and as for Issac Newton, I know he was said to be celibate his entire life, as for myself I'm not writing off women, but I think it would be best to stop thinking about dating or putting in effort in trying to one day have a relationship.
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I think failure and rejection if inflicted upon the right person, can mold that person into a very modest and non-shallow individual. I see a lot of that in you. You seem like a cool dude. Modest and down to Earth. I'd definitely hang with you if you were in my social stratus. Of course, those are not the qualities most people look for though.
outsidethebox Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 changing your avatar couldn't hurt. Why would you identify with that avatar and then wonder about not being liked?
SJC2008 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I didn't really start trying until a couple years ago due to massive shyness. I'd say my failures helped and hurt me. Hurt me in that it made me more insecure in that I thought something was "wrong" with me but hepled me in that I learned about myself and what type of women I need, and that I know I have a problem of being drawn to controlling women so I need to spot the warning signs early so I can bail as soon as I realize I'm dating a controlling woman. Sadly, the women that is right for me is going to be hard to find. I'm not loooking for Mrs. Perfect but someonene who knows they're not perfect and can admit when they're wrong, and who views relationships as 50/50 give and take. It's not a gender specific issue though many women complain of selfish men.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 It's good in some ways I guess. No messy divorces and no smelly loud kids to take care of. Probably save a lot of money too. Love is expensive.
normal person Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I was hoping to read something like: "Last night I tried to X, but it unfortunately resulted in Y, so now I know what not to do." Life is a continual learning process, I think you'd be remiss to give up on girls just because they don't come as easy to you yet. When a lesson is paired with an emotional investment, I think it makes it that much more poignant, so every failure is a learning opportunity. Most of the things I know, I learned by failing at them first. I'm "successful" but I still learn new things all the time. I think it's a little too early for you to throw in the towel. People are here to help. 1
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Brother, this is nothing more than rationalization of what you feel is a failure so you can convince yourself that you're doing "right" by continuing your current course. Failure is a good thing when you learn from it and change to achieve a more favorable outcome. Here, you are not learning or changing; you are merely convincing yourself you don't need to change. 1
Author Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 I was hoping to read something like: "Last night I tried to X, but it unfortunately resulted in Y, so now I know what not to do." Life is a continual learning process, I think you'd be remiss to give up on girls just because they don't come as easy to you yet. When a lesson is paired with an emotional investment, I think it makes it that much more poignant, so every failure is a learning opportunity. Most of the things I know, I learned by failing at them first. I'm "successful" but I still learn new things all the time. I think it's a little too early for you to throw in the towel. People are here to help. That's nice and all but I learn nothing (okay this isn't completely true, I've learned more of the signs of disinterest since I see them so often) from my experiences if something I did worked I would learn something but nothing seems to work despite changing things up and I'm rejected very early most of the time at the initial approach. I'm always told I'm such a nice guy but nothing ever comes of it. Now I haven't tried everything like becoming ultra-ripped and rich (though wealth only attracts gold diggers), but instead of wanting what I can't have it would be more productive to focus my energy on something else more beneficial.
PJKino Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Thats the way i rationalize to not be depressed No heartbreaks no nagging wife or annoying kids We have our FREEDOM
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Now I haven't tried everything like becoming ultra-ripped and rich (though wealth only attracts gold diggers), but instead of wanting what I can't have it would be more productive to focus my energy on something else more beneficial. Again, you're making false assumptions, e.g., being wealthy only attracts gold diggers, to rationalize why you shouldn't work towards being successful. Being "ultra-ripped" and/or wealthy are both beneficial qualities that extend beyond dating. They are nothing more than byproducts of a quality lifestyle. 3
Author Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Again, you're making false assumptions, e.g., being wealthy only attracts gold diggers, to rationalize why you shouldn't work towards being successful. Being "ultra-ripped" and/or wealthy are both beneficial qualities that extend beyond dating. They are nothing more than byproducts of a quality lifestyle. Oh I know how being wealthy and ultra-ripped are good qualities but if I do become wealthy its not going to help me in the dating arena (it will help in everything else though) think of it this way if regular me can't attract woman to save his life then now I'm rich and suddenly women want me, what are they really after? Me or money? Now being ultra-ripped there are no drawbacks besides incredible amounts of time, pain and energy coupled with excellent workout routines and good genetics.
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Oh I know how being wealthy and ultra-ripped are good qualities but if I do become wealthy its not going to help me in the dating arena (it will help in everything else though) think of it this way if regular me can't attract woman to save his life then now I'm rich and suddenly women want me, what are they really after? Me or money? Your money. I won't get into the whole biological mumbo jumbo, but women seek a man of sufficient physical attractiveness who can support their children. Now being ultra-ripped there are no drawbacks besides incredible amounts of time, pain and energy coupled with excellent workout routines and good genetics. An hour a day a few days a week with a decent diet. That's it. 1
aussietigerwolf Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Thats the way i rationalize to not be depressed No heartbreaks no nagging wife or annoying kids We have our FREEDOM Oh dear gods... If you think you're being trapped then you're with the wrong woman
Author Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 changing your avatar couldn't hurt. Why would you identify with that avatar and then wonder about not being liked? What's wrong with my avatar? I liked it. Also goes well with my username as well in a way.
Author Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 An hour a day a few days a week with a decent diet. That's it. I don't know that doesn't seem to make me ultra-ripped, I've become far stronger but in terms of looks I just look big, not fat, but also not ripped.
Author Necris Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Again, you're making false assumptions, e.g., being wealthy only attracts gold diggers, to rationalize why you shouldn't work towards being successful. Being "ultra-ripped" and/or wealthy are both beneficial qualities that extend beyond dating. They are nothing more than byproducts of a quality lifestyle. Also one thing I was trying to point out is that by not worrying about women one positive is that you can acquire more wealth, knowledge, piety, and possibly even a bit of power as you'll hopefully become more focused without such distractions in your life and you avoid the bad that comes with relationships and sex but you also do not experience the good as well. I'm just saying its really not all bad I guess its more of a trade.
Author Necris Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Thats the way i rationalize to not be depressed No heartbreaks no nagging wife or annoying kids We have our FREEDOM See there is a bright side to this issue you don't have to worry about the same problems some people have, and there could be some benefits in for you in exchange for no companionship, sex, love, etc. Remember:
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