mortensorchid Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I've known quite a few people who have moved in with their SO. I can tell you in their cases I see nothing but disaster on their forefronts. I knew a really crazy gal (who I used to be friends with) who let some guy move into her house after knowing him for ONE WEEK! He was a complete deadbeat loser as well, I knew within minutes of meeting him. She continues to do the same with other guys, and it's always these burned out losers. She's a complete psycho, she just loves Bad Boys. My last serious bf broke it off a year ago. We were together for six months, he said every woman he'd ever been with has broken it off with him because of his bad behaviors and that wasn't going to happen again which is why he was breaking it off with me. I was shocked, I just thought "What a loser thing to say". True? I suppose. Initially I thought it was because he didn't want to take it to the next level. He got another gf within four months, after they'd known each other for two months he moved in with her. As far as I know, they are still living together. I know this because about two months ago I got a phone call from the gf who told me to stay away from him and get my own g******* man and if she catches me texting him again she'll come after me. She can have him, I've stayed away. Needless to say, that isn't going to work out either. What is the problem here? I've determined the majority of guys out there want someone who will take care of them. They want someone to support them, do their laundry, cook their food, etc. They don't see it in me, I guess.
creighton0123 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I personally would not recommend moving in with someone until you've dated for at least a year and only then when it is convenient. Moving in is a huge step in that you go from having two private spaces to one shared space. You see a whole lot more of the person and, once moving in, become a little more financially combined than you would be otherwise. How many people would you consider worth dating if they can pick up their life and move in after a few weeks? Doesn't say much about that individuals life station or obligations. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 For your first example, you answered your own question, right? She's a "complete psycho." Evidently your ex boyfriend decided to become domesticated. It happens to the best of us. Personally, my boyfriend moved in with me after one month, and two years later we got married. Seriously - why do you waste your emotional energy on stuff like this? How is this pertinent to your own life? 1
germain Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 What is the problem here? I've determined the majority of guys out there want someone who will take care of them. They want someone to support them, do their laundry, cook their food, etc. They don't see it in me, I guess. Surely that isn't true? It's not my style anyway. I'm more interested in my SO having a steady income and splitting all work/bills. I do agree that moving in early is usually a bad - maybe immature? - move to make. But people hopefully make the mistake once and then learn from it. Anyone else...I think there are deeper issues there.
Kimbra Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 My ex boyfriend moved in with me after 3 months of dating. Most of the time I was supporting him paying for most the bills and rent. Never living with someone who can't fully support themselves ever again!! After about 9 months and 2 or 3 fights. He dumps me then gets engaged four months later and married to someone else that same year. Go figure. I am going to give it a year of dating before I live with a guy from now on. 1
Els Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 You seem to spend quite a lot of your mental space putting down other men and women and justifying your own superiority, honestly. Just based on your posts here. Why does it matter who your ex is dating, why he moved in with her, whether or not he settled for her, what he wants from her? And obviously moving in after a week is a horrible idea, does that even need to be said? There are plenty of men who cohabitate (both before and after marriage) and aren't using the woman as a maid, cook, butler, and paycheck. They just aren't with you. There are also plenty of women who cohabitate and aren't psycho about it.
sabre80 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I generally advise women not to move in with a guy till marriage (unless they are not marriage minded to begin with). Too many women move in with a guy then years down the road wonder why no proposal. A man is less likely to make the final commitment if he is getting all the benefits without the responsibility of the commitment.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 First date dinner out.Second date dinner at his place. Third date first sleepover. Never left after that first sleepover. I would wake up, go to my place to change for work, then go straight to his place as soon as I was off work. After about a month of that I started keeping clothes at his place, by the second month we were living together. Yeah we are crazy. I don't think that because you haven't Moved in with a guy means anything. I don't think you should judge others relationships either. Just focus on you.
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Oh and btw... I have NEVER been a maid. We are a team and we both contribute to our home. I don't know anyone who moved in together quickly just because they wanted the benefits. Haven't you ever been crazy for someone?
CptSaveAho Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I've known quite a few people who have moved in with their SO. I can tell you in their cases I see nothing but disaster on their forefronts. I knew a really crazy gal (who I used to be friends with) who let some guy move into her house after knowing him for ONE WEEK! He was a complete deadbeat loser as well, I knew within minutes of meeting him. She continues to do the same with other guys, and it's always these burned out losers. She's a complete psycho, she just loves Bad Boys. My last serious bf broke it off a year ago. We were together for six months, he said every woman he'd ever been with has broken it off with him because of his bad behaviors and that wasn't going to happen again which is why he was breaking it off with me. I was shocked, I just thought "What a loser thing to say". True? I suppose. Initially I thought it was because he didn't want to take it to the next level. He got another gf within four months, after they'd known each other for two months he moved in with her. As far as I know, they are still living together. I know this because about two months ago I got a phone call from the gf who told me to stay away from him and get my own g******* man and if she catches me texting him again she'll come after me. She can have him, I've stayed away. Needless to say, that isn't going to work out either. What is the problem here? I've determined the majority of guys out there want someone who will take care of them. They want someone to support them, do their laundry, cook their food, etc. They don't see it in me, I guess. They are called users and losers Women do this too
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I moved in at about 3-4 months mark with my ex, in his place. As much as a dick he was, he didn't let me pay for a thing. I earned good money and so did he, but he insisted on paying for all the bills and groceries and nights out and plane tickets etc. I offered so many times but he wanted to this for me. So, not all men are out there to use you as maid or for money. I saved up quite a lot during that year
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I generally advise women not to move in with a guy till marriage (unless they are not marriage minded to begin with). Too many women move in with a guy then years down the road wonder why no proposal. A man is less likely to make the final commitment if he is getting all the benefits without the responsibility of the commitment. Thats what I've wondered about. It seems to be popular to move in with someone real quick. A co worker insulted me for not already moving in after almost a year. But isn't it a turn off to wash the guys laundry, like his mother? This same co worker complains about her live in boyfriend treating her bad. Yet refuses to listen to everyone who told her to leave him months ago. I feel like I'm the only one who hasnt ever moved in with a guy.
iKING Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Thats what I've wondered about. It seems to be popular to move in with someone real quick. A co worker insulted me for not already moving in after almost a year. But isn't it a turn off to wash the guys laundry, like his mother? This same co worker complains about her live in boyfriend treating her bad. Yet refuses to listen to everyone who told her to leave him months ago. I feel like I'm the only one who hasnt ever moved in with a guy. Perhaps women should stick to men that can take care of themselves. The appeal of moving in together quickly is more or less getting caught up in the moment, there is very little rationality involved in the decision. As if to secure a position in the other's life, or perhaps trying to secure the other person, and in reality, it usually does quite the opposite. I've done it both with a girlfriend, and with friends, neither worked out. Not to say it wasn't fun, but it wasn't entirely rational. Setting up a foundation of lifestyle compatibility and general bonding over a prolonged period of time is crucial for any live-in situation in my opinion. Waiting a year is a fair amount of time, surveys indicate that a couple who moves in together after either engagement or marriage has a higher success rate then those who do not.
Els Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 But isn't it a turn off to wash the guys laundry, like his mother? . It's pretty worrying that you immediately assume that all guys have their moms or gfs do their laundry for them. Maybe it's the sort of guys you know?
man_in_the_box Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 We have been together for almost 4.5 years and last week we finally decided to move in together.
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