UltimaWeapon Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) Hey, We are in our early 20's My girlfriend of 3 months has 2 weeks ago told me she wants to be alone and she isn't ready for a relationship. This comes as a surprise to me because she just got out of a really bad three year relationship that she says was 2 years over due. Me and her got close right after and it was because of me that she pulled the cord finally. Her ex is out of the picture he is in another country and won't be back. The problem is she was fine with being with me for 3 months everything was normal, she wanted to see me constantly and hang out and now she says she just isn't ready and wants to be alone for the time being and It is selfish on her part but it has nothing to do with me. She says its a feeling she has and she needs to do what she feels is right, she says she hasn't had time to fully get over past relationship and doesn't want to get into another one right after. She says she was vulnerable and that I was perfect for her and still am but she wants time to not be in one right now. She said it feels like we have been dating for 2 years instead of two months. Maybe it was all too much for her at once but If she felt this strongly for me why would she want to be single? She has a history of being with other guys during the time she had rough patches with her ex. I feel like I also have fell for this, however I was the only one who managed to get her to break up with him. She says a lot of guys were in the same situation as me but she fell really hard and fast for me. I just hope she isn't using this as an excuse for something else. She tends to hang out with only guys too and has a lot of guy friends. Can anyone give me insight on what to do and how to approach this? She said she wants to remain close and be friends and hang out she just needs time and when she is ready she wants to be with me again. I have been in this situation before with my other EX. she said the same crap to me after 4.5 years and pulled the I am not ready for a relationship, I am confused and I was in limbo for 2 months didn't know what was happening. Till I found out she had someone else all along. The pain has been up and down the past two weeks. I thought i would be used to this considering I got over my 4.5 year relationship where she left me for another guy and lied to me. However, this has been extremley difficult to accept and try to move past it because she is truly the only person I have connected with since my split with my ex at the end of 2010. It sucks because everything was perfect the first 3 months I couldn't have been happier and I said the pain I felt to get to her was all worth it. Now I look and ask myself why did I even put myself in this situation? This could have been avoided but I couldn't help the way I feel towards her. I don't know if there is someone else but I am still lost as what to do. She says she needs time to be alone and doesn't want to rush into anything. However, I also do not want to wait for her but I don't want anyone else. You see my dilemma??!?! Wtf do i do!! How does she decide out of nowhere she isn't ready now? Is this complete Bull****?? She knows my intentions she knows I want her..however, its all on her and when she is "ready" and all that crap. I hate the situation I am in now. I should have seen this coming... I know the situation and how we got together wasn't the best circumstance but it happened and thats in the past now. I just feel that she just used me these past 3 months as someone who was there for her because the decision came out of nowhere and she seems like she is doing completely fine. However, I do not see why she would want to be alone even if she doesn't want to rush into another relationship so quickly? Knowing her track record she says she has always had someone there for her and now she doesn't want to do that and she wants to focus on herself. We had to keep the relationship a secret because of her parents (religion issues) but she said that is not the reason and when she is ready to be in one she wants to be with me again. I have a strong feeling this is just an excuse to do whatever she wants without any commitment. I cant accept that after falling in love with this chick.. I really don't know what to do or how to feel. We hooked up the first day she came over and from then on we starting seeing each other and she has a history of being with other guys during rough patches with her ex !!!! Until I came along and made her end it. What should I do in this situation? I don't want to cut her out of my life- I truly care for her and I am hoping her words are genuine. However, she has a ton of guy friends and I just can't help but think there could be someone else. * We have talked 24 7 during these past 3 months and we would see each other all the time until one day she just completely dropped this on me. I am having a hard time accepting this and not talking to her as much as we use too. We have been in contact since it happened and we are trying to talk normally to one another but nothing is changing and I don't think it will. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her but at the same time HOW LONG WILL THIS "I DONT WANT A REL." crap ends??? If she truly cared wouldn't she want to stay with me!? Edited March 10, 2013 by UltimaWeapon
hppr Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 She used you for a rebound but now her emotions are swinging a different way, don't be surprised if she goes back with her ex or something. Just figure that it was fun while it lasted but she doesn't feel the same way about you. Life is about experiences, you just had one, congrats.
Author UltimaWeapon Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 The ex is out of the country though. so that can't happen ://
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 LOL after 2 years of being together my ex used that line and few others on me only to go back out with his short lived ex not even 2 days later. They're still together. well well where is karma when you need it...?! its all B.S they either love you and wanna be with you OR they simply don't period! no formula needed.
CC12 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 What should I do in this situation? I don't want to cut her out of my life- I truly care for her and I am hoping her words are genuine. However, she has a ton of guy friends and I just can't help but think there could be someone else. There could be someone else. But I think you should really try to understand that it almost doesn't matter if there is someone else. What it really boils down to is that she does not want to be with you. She broke up with you. A lot of people do the whole, "But we can still hang out and someday we might be together again." That's a very optimistic way of looking at it, but in reality, it rarely works out. It's still a breakup, and you still need to treat it as one. Do the normal things people do to process breakups. Don't be friends with her. Don't wait around for her to suddenly be "ready" for a relationship. Break it off, move on with your life, and if she someday has a pressing urge to be with you, I'm sure she can figure out how to contact you. And at that point, you may or may not want to have anything to do with her.
marklarsson Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Sadly you was a rebound. You have to move on. It was not fair of her to even put you in such a situation. But as others have said it all doesn't matter treat it like any other break up and move on. Her getting back with her ex has nothing to do with it. Whether he treated her great or badly she still needed to the time to get over him but she didn't. This is the problem with people who fail to deal with thier emotions sooner or later it just comes out
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