LoveReel Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Hi everyone. I've been very confused about this girl I met a month and a half ago. We met online, we shared many (more than anyone I met before) of the same weird tastes and personalities. We went out for dinner and it was amazing, we clicked, I felt chemistry, and she told me she had a lot of fun too and wanted to meet up again. Now, from the get-go she told me she was a very busy person, she works for an overseas company (she actually kind of lives there, and came back here indefinitely for family reasons) and during the week she's always alert waiting for their call to know what she has to do and the delivery date, which sometimes might ruin her weekend. We were talking about this local expo at the end of our first date and she told me she had never been there before, so since I wanted to be with her again soon, I asked her what exhibitions she wanted to see since I knew some guys who could get us tickets. She told me all the things she wanted to see and so I pulled some strings and got the tickets (except for the final exhibition for which I couldn't get any and actually had to pay for them). She was very excited since she had never been there and always wanted to go and so we made our plans. Now, our first date went wonderful and we had a lot of physical contact and flirting (I did not try to kiss her yet, I like to build up and take things slowly, I don't want her to think I'm into her just for sex or something), and we went on the first day of the expo and she kept flirting with me (placing her head on my shoulder, sitting and walking very close to me, kept playing with her hair / clothes / jewlery and asked me a lot of questions about myself), it was great. Come the second day of the expo, she cancels on me, says she has work and she's very sorry. I tell her I'm sad I can't see her that day but wish her good work. Third day of the expo, cancels again, still on the same work. Fine, I was warned about this earlier. Fourth and fifth day she shows up. It was very quick though as these were the smaller exhibitions and she was very tired (it was noticeable, it was not an excuse, at all) and on the fourth exhibition she actually invited me to her home and offered me a cup of coffee, tea and biscuits and we talked for hours, she kept saying she had to sleep but we'd always find something else to talk about. Sixth day, cancels. Seventh day, cancels. The final and biggest event, cancels again. Now, I know she's busy, but I'm a busy person myself, I had to cancel some appointments to make it to the expo with her, and actually turned down a quick freelance job on one of those nights (I shouldn't have... but I like her a lot) to be with her. When she canceled the 5th and 6th day she told me she was sick, without going into too many details. Now on the final exhibition, she told me she was very tired and wanted to sleep. I understand this, but couldn't she find a little bit of time to be with me? It didn't need to be a lot, just one or two hours. We had kind of an honest conversation over e-mail, and I told her I had gotten those tickets to go with her and because she wanted to go, and I had to clean up a lot of my schedule as well to be with her and felt it wasn't really fair or respectful towards me. She told me I was right and it was her mistake for having made such commitments. Since I dislike discussing this type of thing over text since you can't really hear the other person's tone, I told her I would be available tomorrow, so if she was interested in talking I wanted to see her. She said she would see if she could make it, and proceeded to tell me what health problem she had - it was a very personal thing that people don't share easily. She sharing this made me feel like she was genuinely trying to make things right. But I'm confused as all hell. She shows that she likes me, and yet, even though I understand that she has a lot of work, and I tried to shrug off those cancelations she pulled on me, the last one "being tired" just won't go through my head. Alright, she's tired, hell I'm tired. Why couldn't she just meet me for an hour or two? It's driving me insane. She did tell me once that she was thinking of going back to where she lives overseas. Could she be trying to push me aside because she likes me but doesn't see a future since she wants to move away? That's kind of the impression I get at times. Which sucks, because I really like her, and if the problem is the moving away, I've been thinking of moving away for a year now, so it's not like it couldn't work. This just needs to be resolved, I need to know where I stand. If she plans something for the next few days (I left the ball in her court), I will have a very honest conversation with her, and tell her everything - that I like her and want to be with her and need to know where I stand in her life because I can't keep playing these little games without knowing if we're in the same page. Any thoughts? Anything would help, I just felt I had to vent a little.
Patrice Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 She is confused maybe, not ready maybe ... we women do that stuff ...
Author LoveReel Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 What age and what is her past, that would help. We are both 27, she lived overseas for the last 8 years, she hasn't been very open about past relationships, she seems unconfortable when we touch on the subject so I don't force it. She is confused maybe, not ready maybe ... we women do that stuff ... That's my thought as well, all her explaining and she telling me about her (very) personal health problem she had to deal with these last few days make me believe that she likes me but is confused. That coupled with the fact that she wants to go back overseas next year. Now the ball is in her court anyway, it's up to her to contact me so we can have a chat about all this. Thanks for the answering. Also to the "getting laid" comment, no. She never showed any signs of that. Believe me, I've been with women who only wanted to get laid, I know the difference.
Patrice Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Keep silent for now, women who are hurting and afraid tend to do this .. she doesn't know what she wants .. let her figure that out, and don't pressure her ... check in from time to time, she is going through something.
Patrice Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 And don't take it personally, that's the biggest thing I can tell you .. it isn't about you ..
Author LoveReel Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Keep silent for now, women who are hurting and afraid tend to do this .. she doesn't know what she wants .. let her figure that out, and don't pressure her ... check in from time to time, she is going through something. She mentioned some family problems when we met (that's why she came back to our country). So yeah, I also think she is going through something. And don't take it personally, that's the biggest thing I can tell you .. it isn't about you .. I don't take it personally, I've actually been very open with her and understanding. I just wish she could at least be more open about what's happening. I understand she might (probably is) going through something, but I have feelings too and I'd like to know if I might have a place in her life or not, and not stay here wandering what's going on and where I fit, confused and lost. I will give her time, see if she contacts me and if we can talk. Thanks again.
Patrice Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Best move and the smartest, let her figure out where and what she wants to do, be a friendly presence, that's a complete turn on .. the pushy ones, get pushed aside .... at some point she will contact you, just be friendly and non-pressuring. You will build the trust she needs, to confide what is going on.
Author LoveReel Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Best move and the smartest, let her figure out where and what she wants to do, be a friendly presence, that's a complete turn on .. the pushy ones, get pushed aside .... at some point she will contact you, just be friendly and non-pressuring. You will build the trust she needs, to confide what is going on. Yeah, my plan is, when / if she contacts me, we go out and have a blast. Then maybe when I leave her home I might touch on the subject lightly. Last thing I am and want to be is pushy.
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