Author J_L_C Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Yes i know my ex and I could fall back in right away given the chance. She knows it too. We didn't BU up because of lack of love. It was a situational thing. Easily fixed. But what if someone broke up because their feelings changed? Could it be a case of G.I.G.S? Or maybe they weren't really ready for a relationship? A serious one anyway...
Author J_L_C Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Sorry but what is GIGS? Grass is greener syndrome
Wabisabi Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Grass is greener syndrome Oh I see. Thx. Well, there could be so many reasons and sometimes we'll never know why like in my case. I guess I'll never find the answer. But come to think of it, if he comes back to me, I'll be insecure, afraid he might do it again and my trust in him will be destroyed by my own insecurity so in the end, it's not about whether one can fall back in love again. The scar will always be there. In my case anyway.
Author J_L_C Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Oh I see. Thx. Well, there could be so many reasons and sometimes we'll never know why like in my case. I guess I'll never find the answer. But come to think of it, if he comes back to me, I'll be insecure, afraid he might do it again and my trust in him will be destroyed by my own insecurity so in the end, it's not about whether one can fall back in love again. The scar will always be there. In my case anyway. It's SO true. Something that has been broken can never be fixed 100%...if you broke and shattered your favorite vase, you may be able to pick up the pieces and put it back together, but it'll never be as good as new. Have you ever heard of relationship coach "Eddie Corbano"? I've been reading many of his things and when he discusses reconciliations, he says they are tough because things will never be as they once were. I'd be worried to get back with my ex for similar reasons. Will he hide his feelings again? Will he flirt with girls and get their numbers at bars behind my back again? Will he talk smack to his friends still? Would I truly be able to believe him when he says he loves me and will always be there? I know myself and I'd worry too much. It would kill any chance the relationship ever had...but that's not MY fault...it's HIS.
lovnlost Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 It's SO true. Something that has been broken can never be fixed 100%...if you broke and shattered your favorite vase, you may be able to pick up the pieces and put it back together, but it'll never be as good as new. Have you ever heard of relationship coach "Eddie Corbano"? I've been reading many of his things and when he discusses reconciliations, he says they are tough because things will never be as they once were. I'd be worried to get back with my ex for similar reasons. Will he hide his feelings again? Will he flirt with girls and get their numbers at bars behind my back again? Will he talk smack to his friends still? Would I truly be able to believe him when he says he loves me and will always be there? I know myself and I'd worry too much. It would kill any chance the relationship ever had...but that's not MY fault...it's HIS. Actually no it is not his fault....it is yours as well. It was his actions that were a problem, but how long were you suspicious of it before you made a move? Did you push away or prolong hoping it wasnt so? I am not trying to be rude, these are hard questions we must ask ourselves and therefore the blame is shared because in a relationship, it takes two, even when it feels one sided. You must CHOOSE to be vulnerable to open up to him again. You must CHOOSE to allow yourself to love him again. If he has had issues he has laid to rest, and came back and is made whole after his transgressions. Then it is up to YOU to accept him this way despite the past. But dont offense, I am wrestling with the same question. It will be my choice to take back my ex despite her emotional immaturity and foolishness. BUT, I started the whole thing when I originally BU with her first. It was only in trying to get her back, and her crappy reactions, that has gave me a choice should she come back my way.
Author J_L_C Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 You should read my previous thread titled: "Sherlock Holmes". You shall see the terrible things he did.
Wabisabi Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 It's SO true. Something that has been broken can never be fixed 100%...if you broke and shattered your favorite vase, you may be able to pick up the pieces and put it back together, but it'll never be as good as new. Have you ever heard of relationship coach "Eddie Corbano"? I've been reading many of his things and when he discusses reconciliations, he says they are tough because things will never be as they once were. I'd be worried to get back with my ex for similar reasons. Will he hide his feelings again? Will he flirt with girls and get their numbers at bars behind my back again? Will he talk smack to his friends still? Would I truly be able to believe him when he says he loves me and will always be there? I know myself and I'd worry too much. It would kill any chance the relationship ever had...but that's not MY fault...it's HIS. Yup Eddie Corbano the break up coach. Been reading his guides to save my sanity. I do believe we're responsible as well for what happened. He did mean stuff but we allowed ourselves to be treated that way. Coz we love so deeply we're willing to overlook everything that's usually unacceptable for us. In the end that's not good enough for the guy, we got taken for granted. My ex broke up with me once coz he said he didn't love me anymore but few days after I ignored him he begged me to take him back. He did mention that I won't trust him anymore but at that time I was so desperate to have him back I lied to myself that I could trust him again. So stupid of me. Since then, it was all rosy for 2 weeks max and went downhill from there. When he's good to me I'd be on cloud 9 and when he wasn't I felt terrible and tried putting more effort to get him to love me. I became so insecure! Finally, after another roller-coaster ride, he left me for good. This time I woke up. I saw how I played a part in ruining this relationship even though yes, it's his fault and all that.
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