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Posted (edited)

Here my story...I met a guy while I was on vacation last month. He told me that I was attractive. He told me about his personal things without me even asking him. Many times I caught him looking at me and sometimes he just stared at my eyes. He asked me a lot of personal questions which I tried to avoid. The day I went back, he helped me to carry my luggage without even knowing it. I was looking for my luggage and it was already in his hand. Before I said goodbye to him, he told me that I should write to him. He also told me he was going to be busy the following month.

 

So after 3 days of reaching home, I texted him to get his email so I could send his picture which I took while on vacation. He gave me his email and we texted back and forth for a while. The following day, I sent his pictures with a short greetings. He didn't respond to my email so I texted him if he has received my email. He told me he has received it, thanked me for the pictures, said he was working and would call me in 2 hours time, in which he did. We talked for about half an hour in which he confessed that he was totally smitten by me and planned to come to visit me soon. He also wanted me to keep in touch with him. He asked if he could call and email me sometimes and I said yes.

 

I didn't hear from him again after five days. So I decided to write him an email in which I said it was wonderful to meet him and that I was also attracted to him. He didn't reply my email. I guess he was busy so I sent him a cute emoticon just to show him I was trying to keep in touch with him. He replied almost immediately telling me he was about to board a plane and that he loved my email. But the thing is, he didn't quite finished his message..he wrote "I loved your email. I wish...." thats it.

 

Now Im wondering what he meant by that. I haven't heard from him since the last text. And I don't want to initiate contact with him anymore because I realized he never did initiate any contact with me.

 

So now, help me to understand my situation. Is he just playing game with me??? Thank you.

Edited by jazze
missed out some words
Posted

It may have been that he was about to say he wished you lived nearby, or something similar. I'm not sure he's playing games with you as much as he realizes you went to his area on vacation and that It'd be a long-distance type deal if you guys tried to get involved.

 

You can try to continue pursuing it to a light degree, more for fun, but distance doesn't typically work well unless there was a serious bond prior to the distance being involved, even at which point it isn't easy to say the least.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for your reply. I'm not sure if I want to pursue further. I don't want to appear as though I am "chasing" him.

Posted

Don't pursue it...he's a player.

  • Author
Posted
Don't pursue it...he's a player.

 

Really? How can you tell?

Posted
Really? How can you tell?

 

I'm not sure he's a player so much as he's not taking it entirely seriously due to the distance. If you two lived near each other this might be an entirely different story.

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Posted
I'm not sure he's a player so much as he's not taking it entirely seriously due to the distance. If you two lived near each other this might be an entirely different story.

 

So perhaps he thought about the LDR scenario and decided just to let go....:confused:

Posted
Really? How can you tell?

 

::sigh:: Because I've been around men for 32 years and I know them like the back of my hand....I could waste my time to go into it in detail, but that wouldn't really make a difference...he's hitting the marks of certain behavior.

 

It's like when you see someone on the street and you say "that person looks shady", it's in their behavior that something is "off" about them, they're hitting queues without even realizing it....his behavior from what you're describing, is giving off strong queues.

 

He'll be hot and cold, infrequent and inconsistent contact...yet he eventually try to make a play or attempt to "hook you"...there's really no good resistance to a man who's a good "player", it's only stopping before it starts ;)

 

But you don't have to take my word for it! ::gestures towards the magical red carpet if promise::

Posted
So perhaps he thought about the LDR scenario and decided just to let go....:confused:

 

Possibly. If you guys had spent months together or something it may have ended up being taken into consideration to start a LDR, but meeting someone on a week vacation isn't exactly an ideal scenario for starting a serious relationship. He may have had fun and does have interest in you, but when the reality of the distance set in it could have prompted him to draw back.

 

Consider it something just for fun, stay in contact if you like, should he come to your area, or he goes to your area, you guys will always have someone you know to go visit. It may even develop into something more serious, but the odds aren't in your favor for it at the moment.

 

This sort of thing happens quite often and I've yet to hear of it developing into something serious. It's kind of like the "spring break buddy" type thing.

  • Author
Posted
::sigh:: Because I've been around men for 32 years and I know them like the back of my hand....I could waste my time to go into it in detail, but that wouldn't really make a difference...he's hitting the marks of certain behavior.

 

It's like when you see someone on the street and you say "that person looks shady", it's in their behavior that something is "off" about them, they're hitting queues without even realizing it....his behavior from what you're describing, is giving off strong queues.

 

He'll be hot and cold, infrequent and inconsistent contact...yet he eventually try to make a play or attempt to "hook you"...there's really no good resistance to a man who's a good "player", it's only stopping before it starts ;)

 

But you don't have to take my word for it! ::gestures towards the magical red carpet if promise::

 

Your reply has opened my eyes. Thanks for your reply..

  • Author
Posted
Possibly. If you guys had spent months together or something it may have ended up being taken into consideration to start a LDR, but meeting someone on a week vacation isn't exactly an ideal scenario for starting a serious relationship. He may have had fun and does have interest in you, but when the reality of the distance set in it could have prompted him to draw back.

 

Consider it something just for fun, stay in contact if you like, should he come to your area, or he goes to your area, you guys will always have someone you know to go visit. It may even develop into something more serious, but the odds aren't in your favor for it at the moment.

 

This sort of thing happens quite often and I've yet to hear of it developing into something serious. It's kind of like the "spring break buddy" type thing.

 

oh well...."spring break buddy" was all I got from my vacation..he he he. Thanks for your reply...

Posted (edited)

This sounds like my story, but we spent 24/7 hours together since we met again. It was super romantic, he was so nice and caring to me. He introduced me to his brother, he made plans of coming to visit me for 2 months this summer. He bought me a very expensive gift just to think of him when I can.

 

I was shocked! I didn't expect it to happen. I didn't even expect him to be so nice, giving so much affection and making promisess to me. :rolleyes: I am more of a realistic person when it comes to men and I don't trust them. I've kept my distance. But men can't fake it, call me naive but I seen what he felt in his eyes.

 

Anyway when we got back. When I questioned my feelings, I texted him the "same" thing like you did just that he doesn't get a wrong impression that I'm not interested or being cold.

 

So what happens over next couple of months, we text each other, he ignores me. Then I ignore him. Then I text him, then I don't get any deliveries and it all goes by delay over internet communication. Then he eventually gets it after 4 days of the delay, but he doesn't replies to me. Then I went on no contact for couple of weeks. Then I meet other guy, which I wasn't interested in. I realised I like the first one more. :rolleyes: So i get annoyed and I write him a novel about my feelings, nothing pathetic. "Normal" email indirectly asking where is this going and how I do not like players who say anything and show large number of emotions directly into someone's face just to keep it fun like don Juan. But in the end I say goodbye and that I can understand what he did.

A guy replies to me not so long ago how he was having very hard times at his job flying around the globe 24/7 in the last couple of weeks and that he wants me in his life when things settle down. With I miss you and exuses and exuses. He isn't Barrack Obama for the love of God. I know his job is appreciated and important and that is very stresfull and responsible, but...

I replied to him eventhought I shouldn't because he is a player.

 

I told you my story because since its fresh and since you post this on a forum! I can see you really like him. Just be carefull!

 

LDR or friendships do not work out mostly. You can like him, thats nice. You ccould keep in contact with him for the next couple of months everyday, once or week or whatever. How many times you hear from him is irrelevant. But just keep it friendly, don't have contacts with him on a regural everyday basis or expect it.

I know everyone is different, but from my experience!

We women are romantic deep down inside and maybe we don't want to admit it but things happen like this. We end up wasting communication on someone who we can't have. We get bonded to someone for no logical explanation. Oh he is nice, we exchange emails, texts, we share our daily life problems.

Anyway my advice is.

He might, he might not be a player. Maybe he is aware of the things that its long distance thing so he pulled back and doesn't want to get involved more because investing any more feelings into it is not "profitable" in his logical reasoning. I think guys are more rational when it comes to "love" decissions and they do it by their brain and just switch off if they can, if they can't he'll come back and travel the whole world to get women of his dreams. But farytales do not exist. Odds of this to happen is maybe 1 in a million.

 

He might claim that he is busy like my "VIP" guy! Yes, they might have reasonable and very important jobs. But believe me no one even Barrack Obama if he was divorced... he would text every 5 minutes if he decided to do it and likes me!

Take it slow, keep it friendly, do not invest your emotions too much and you will see. And first rule do not expect anything or him to reply to your emails immediately or even in the same week.

Sorry for long post! :o

Edited by Vallez
  • Author
Posted

Hi Vallez...thanks so much for your reply. I do like him but I am also being careful at the same time.

Posted
Hi Vallez...thanks so much for your reply. I do like him but I am also being careful at the same time.

 

And be carefull, because it could end up running in circles for you. As I said been there, done that. Think of him as a friend, live your life as you did so far. Go and date other men. :cool:

If he'll be into you let him chase you. :)

 

But this guy below who answered you is right! Whats the point of wasting our time on skype, texts, airports or whatever when we are still young! I don't know how old are you but I'm still in 20 ties. You'll get your eyes opened like I am experiencing right now. You will see there is no point. As I said it happens 1 in a million. I just wish I came to this forum before this thing happened and that someone gave me a good advice at start.

  • Author
Posted
You two are young. He's not playing a game, and just because he picked up your suitcases doesn't mean he wants a long distance love affair with you. Sheesh.

 

The simple truth is, outta sight, outta mind. While you had a very fleeting connection and very fragile bond for the 1 or 2 weeks you were in his part of the country, the simple truth is that reality has set back in. It's back to life as usual.

 

Why keep persuing him? What's the POINT? Why any young man (or woman) would want to carry on some silly long distance 'relationship' via Skype, chatbox, email and text - while REAL life passes them by - is a mystery. There's just NOTHING to gain from it.

 

Stop texting him and reaching out to him. It's obvious he's gone back to his real life and you're a pleasant memory - as it should be.

 

Thanks for your reply and insight. Well, I am not young. He and I have what they call it "been there, done that" kind of things. I agree with you when you said reality has set back and I was just a pleasant memory. The truth is, any long distance or short distance relationship, there are ups and downs. When there is a "connection", sometimes one might wonder if it is worth pursuing it, in another words, there might be a chance it would become something beautiful. Its all depends on individual whether he/she seriously wants to pursue it. It could also mean just as a friend or maybe getting to know more about each other before a decision to go further is taken into consideration.

 

It is not about how often one communicate or how to stay in touch with each other. When you love someone so much, you have faith in your relationship. No matter where you are, you will always end up to be together. Out of sight, out of mind but you are still in their heart...

 

As for me, I was in a long distance relationship before for 3 years and sadly, it ended because we grew apart and realized we were no longer in the same page. As for my current situation, I am not use to getting messages where I have to sort of "fill in the blank". And that is the reason why I seek some input from this forum. If there is any possibility that it could turn out to be something worthy, I would consider it but if it is just "a pleasant memory", it would be nice to have a new friend.

  • Author
Posted
And be carefull, because it could end up running in circles for you. As I said been there, done that. Think of him as a friend, live your life as you did so far. Go and date other men. :cool:

If he'll be into you let him chase you. :)

 

But this guy below who answered you is right! Whats the point of wasting our time on skype, texts, airports or whatever when we are still young! I don't know how old are you but I'm still in 20 ties. You'll get your eyes opened like I am experiencing right now. You will see there is no point. As I said it happens 1 in a million. I just wish I came to this forum before this thing happened and that someone gave me a good advice at start.

 

Hi again Vallez, well, the point of skype, texts, airports are we are just taking advantage of the modern technology. It connects us with people especially those we are in relationship with in a matter of seconds. Anyway, as we journey into our life, we experience many many pleasant and unpleasant things which we learned and hopefully one day, it molds us into someone wiser in future choices we make.

 

Thank you again for sharing me your experience and in return I have learned something from you.

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