RiceaRoni Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 It's been a tough 4/5 months since the break...really tough, but in all I've looked back and have seen how much I've progressed and grown. He was my first love and the memories we shared are still fresh in my mind, but I think I'm coming to adjusting life without him. I really do miss him and wish this never happened to us, but I guess everything really does happen for a reason. His new gf is so similar it's scary, but I try not to think about that anymore because when I used to look at their twitter and other social networking sites. I realized that she herself isn't healthy emotional wise. She's extremely co dependent and has a fear of people leaving her. All she wants is him. She puts all her dependence on him and only him. Which shows that I was emotional stronger than she is even tho I probably cried a lot more. But I was never that co dependent. People say they won't last, but honestly I try not to care anymore. If they don't and he tries coming back although I'll want to say yes I'll probably end up saying no. Just because I look back and saw how badly he effected me when he left (depression, no eating or sleeping, a lost of interest in the things I loved, etc) I don't think I'd be able to handle that pain if it were to happen again. I love him though. Maybe next year if he's single and I am I might try again just because I know we would have both grown up a little bit, but for now no. Not ever. He isn't the guy I once loved anymore.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 Plus we are both still very young he's turning 17 next month and I'm 18.. (His new gf is 15 1/2) Does this mean he'll forget me? I hope not. I feel like he's trying to override our memories by creating new ones with her, and as much as that hurts me. At least ill know myself how much he meant to me
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 Is this right? Am I doing the right things? He doesn't see me at all anymore. Which I guess means he's forgotten about me. And although I shouldn't care. We spent a long time with each other doing so many highschool activities with one another. I felt like we were a team, but now it hurts to watch him love someone else the way he loved me. But that's life I suppose and I know I'll have a guy that I can have happiness with too one day.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 I also planned to send a letter similar to the one Noah wrote Ali on the notebook, but Ive come to the conclusion that's it's probably best I stayed out. Even tho I want to keep telling him how I feel. I know it's too late and won't do any good. Is this right?
Minneloa Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Take a deep breath. This is all part of your grieving process. Try not to let yourself dwell on the "what ifs." Have you left the house today? Some fresh air and brisk walking can help to shift your perspective. From what you have posted here, you have made the best choice for yourself and your healing by choosing no contact. Go ahead and write the letter to vent, but don't send it yet. Tell yourself you can send it in two weeks if you still want to. I bet you won't. Most of all, hang in there and trust that you will feel better. Sending good thoughts. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 Take a deep breath. This is all part of your grieving process. Try not to let yourself dwell on the "what ifs." Have you left the house today? Some fresh air and brisk walking can help to shift your perspective. From what you have posted here, you have made the best choice for yourself and your healing by choosing no contact. Go ahead and write the letter to vent, but don't send it yet. Tell yourself you can send it in two weeks if you still want to. I bet you won't. Most of all, hang in there and trust that you will feel better. Sending good thoughts. I know. The "what if's" are the hardest thing to let go...I know they love each other and I have no part in his life anymore. They are both happy so I should find happiness within myself and then elsewhere. I've written so many letters to him, and I've never sent them. I want to send them, but I don't think they'd do any good and I'd look desperate and humiliating. My hope is that he realizes how much I really loved him.
Minneloa Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Right now, from what you have posted, you seem to be focusing solely on your ex and your past relationship. What about you? Can you make a list of things in the present that make you happy, even little things, and one of things you would like to do in the future? For example, my cat makes me laugh every day b/c she is such a goofball. And I would love to go to Morocco some day and sip mint tea in an outdoor cafe. I know you are hurting right now, and I don't mean to minimize that. At the same time, there is a whole world out there & I urge you to at least consider some of its dazzling array of wonders. 1
Keenly Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 You should not be concerning yourself with his new GF and what she is like. It's going to prevent you from healing. 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Right now, from what you have posted, you seem to be focusing solely on your ex and your past relationship. What about you? Can you make a list of things in the present that make you happy, even little things, and one of things you would like to do in the future? For example, my cat makes me laugh every day b/c she is such a goofball. And I would love to go to Morocco some day and sip mint tea in an outdoor cafe. I know you are hurting right now, and I don't mean to minimize that. At the same time, there is a whole world out there & I urge you to at least consider some of its dazzling array of wonders. I actually hung out today with a friend from high school who came back into town from his university it was really fun and my mind was off my ex the whole time. We're going to hang out again tomorrow before he leaves again so it has been great. I'm also looking forward to another friend moving back into town by the end of the month This is what I have been looking forward to with my friends. As for myself I'm looking for a new dance group to join or I might go back to my old one, and I'm looking forward to singing with my friend's bf just for fun haha...and in two years I plan to visit Japan as a graduation gift I'm really trying to move on and my friends have really been supportive of me it's actually great to see the people who care for me have always been there I have my down days and my up days, but now the 'up' days seem to be outweighing the bad so I guess it's progress 1
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