Dyamond Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 My 2 months boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. He lives in NY and I live in MA. (He is 28 and im 21) Last time we saw each other was in December. This weekend we were suppose to get together. I have a room mate and I still need to get my own place, so I made reservations at a hotel instead, I also paid for his flight since last time he paid for everything when he was coming. So yesterday we had a snow storm, but the snow ended in the afternoon. 2 hours before his flight he told me he can't make it because he thinks they will delay his flight, he does not want to risk spending a whole night at the airport. a friend of his got his flight delayed twice already. so I told him to call and ask what's going on. He ignored my suggestion and said he thinks it is best if I cancel the flight that I paid for him, and he will pay me back whatever I spend. I was so disappointed to the point I told him don't worry about it. He said hates to do this but he thinks it is the best. He had the experience of getting stuck before and he does not want to go through it again. So I canceled the flight ( his flight was only delayed 1 hr.) Now it is Saturday afternoon, he did not bother to call or text me.....and I did not either. I just feel like he does not take me seriously....please give me your opinions, do I have the right to be mad at him? should I let him call or should I call or text first?
LittleTiger Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Hi Dyamond, welcome to LS! The simple answer is you have 'right' to feel whatever you feel. Whether your feelings are justified under the circumstances is difficult to say because we don't really know if he had another reason (apart from a possible delay in his flight) for not visiting you as planned. He could have checked on the delay and found out that is would only be an hour or so but he chose not to do that so, in your situation, my question would be 'why?' I think you would be best having a conversation with him about this as soon as you can. If he really was worried about being stuck at the airport for hours on end, he will be very keen to reorganise the trip asap. If he doesn't seem disappointed by not seeing you and isn't in a rush to reorganise, that opens up a whole new set of questions about what's going on at his end! Good luck and let us know how you get on.
Survivor12 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Hmmm...I'm just curious why he would ask you to cancel the flight instead of rescheduling it (there's a fee, but he could have paid for that instead of paying full price for the ticket). Was there any reason for not taking that option? 2
Author Dyamond Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Hmmm...I'm just curious why he would ask you to cancel the flight instead of rescheduling it (there's a fee, but he could have paid for that instead of paying full price for the ticket). Was there any reason for not taking that option? I thought so too. I was going to suggest it but did not because he could have suggest that too if he really wanted to come visit. Im starting to think there is other reasons.
Author Dyamond Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Hi Dyamond, welcome to LS! The simple answer is you have 'right' to feel whatever you feel. Whether your feelings are justified under the circumstances is difficult to say because we don't really know if he had another reason (apart from a possible delay in his flight) for not visiting you as planned. He could have checked on the delay and found out that is would only be an hour or so but he chose not to do that so, in your situation, my question would be 'why?' I think you would be best having a conversation with him about this as soon as you can. If he really was worried about being stuck at the airport for hours on end, he will be very keen to reorganise the trip asap. If he doesn't seem disappointed by not seeing you and isn't in a rush to reorganise, that opens up a whole new set of questions about what's going on at his end! Good luck and let us know how you get on. Thanks, i will have a word with him as soon as possible. Most likely things might come to an end because he finally text me yesterday, but just normal conversation. He did not even bother bringing up when he wants to replan the trip. So there is something wrong and ill get to the bottom of it.
KoKo0 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 If he wanted to see you, he would have found a way... really? he couldn't spend one night at the airport if he had to? -_- 2
wintersun Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 well, I'm going to make a surprise soon to my girlfriend. I'm going to visit her on a Saturday, and get back home on a Sunday. The airport is 300km away from my home, and the plain departs at 6:00Am. I will go by train Friday right after work. Will arrive at the airport at almost midnight. I will have to sit outside for about 5 to 6 hours, because it closes during the night. All of this just to be a total of 10 hours with her. But theses will be the best 10 hours of my life yet. So I guess, if he really loved you... well, you get the point. Take care 4
Author Dyamond Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 well, I'm going to make a surprise soon to my girlfriend. I'm going to visit her on a Saturday, and get back home on a Sunday. The airport is 300km away from my home, and the plain departs at 6:00Am. I will go by train Friday right after work. Will arrive at the airport at almost midnight. I will have to sit outside for about 5 to 6 hours, because it closes during the night. All of this just to be a total of 10 hours with her. But theses will be the best 10 hours of my life yet. So I guess, if he really loved you... well, you get the point. Take care Wow, thanks for sharing; Actions speak louder than words. 1
xyn Posted March 15, 2013 Posted March 15, 2013 Sorry, but I think that's total nonsense! Flight delays happen... does he have some sort of phobia of being in an airport overnight or for several hours? If not, I don't see what could possibly be so bad as to completely CANCEL a trip to see your SO you haven't seen in forever (that's what it feels like anyways, right?? haha). That is just silly. Just bring a really good book, or a tablet to play games on! If I were you, I would be SUPER upset. Then again, my relationship is probably very different from yours. But... wow. I'd feel like he didn't really care to see me, and that's an awful feeling to get when you're in an LDR. He may just not know how strongly his actions affected you, but I don't know.. that's a long shot in this scenario. In any case, you have to talk to him about it, and you really should've objected right off the bat when he originally said he was going to cancel. I totally would've. But my bf and I have a very open relationship and he's been willing to do all sorts of crazy things to come visit me. (He was once going to subject himself to a 2-day road trip crammed in a regular little car with his dad and 3 other men just to see me for the few days he had on break one semester! Now that's love lol!) However! You never know. Maybe there was something else going on that he was embarrassed about. It may be a misunderstanding. You'll never know until you talk to him about it. Good luck! 2
Author Dyamond Posted March 19, 2013 Author Posted March 19, 2013 Sorry, but I think that's total nonsense! Flight delays happen... does he have some sort of phobia of being in an airport overnight or for several hours? If not, I don't see what could possibly be so bad as to completely CANCEL a trip to see your SO you haven't seen in forever (that's what it feels like anyways, right?? haha). That is just silly. Just bring a really good book, or a tablet to play games on! If I were you, I would be SUPER upset. Then again, my relationship is probably very different from yours. But... wow. I'd feel like he didn't really care to see me, and that's an awful feeling to get when you're in an LDR. He may just not know how strongly his actions affected you, but I don't know.. that's a long shot in this scenario. In any case, you have to talk to him about it, and you really should've objected right off the bat when he originally said he was going to cancel. I totally would've. But my bf and I have a very open relationship and he's been willing to do all sorts of crazy things to come visit me. (He was once going to subject himself to a 2-day road trip crammed in a regular little car with his dad and 3 other men just to see me for the few days he had on break one semester! Now that's love lol!) However! You never know. Maybe there was something else going on that he was embarrassed about. It may be a misunderstanding. You'll never know until you talk to him about it. Good luck! I agree and yes I was very upset about it to the point even he later realize he was wrong to do this. He is trying all kinds of tricks to bring us back to the way things were before. But i'm not gonna allow it cause im not sure if I want to continue anymore after such a treatment. Girl thanks for the advice:o
Foxy Brown Posted March 19, 2013 Posted March 19, 2013 Hi, Dyamond. It has been my experience in life that when someone wants something badly enough, they will do whatever it takes to make it happen. In my LDR, I managed to save money that I didn't really have, and then spend 2 days on a train (not a pleasant experience) and a few hours on a bus to spend time with the person I was seeing. I wasn't keen on spending that much time on a train, but I wanted to make the visit happen enough that I was willing to do what it took. It sounds to me like your bf didn't want it badly enough to do whatever it took to come see you, even with you footing the bill! And then he doesn't even talk to you about rescheduling a visit? Actions speak louder than words, and he doesn't appear to even have any words. Is this really worth your time? 3
Author Dyamond Posted March 27, 2013 Author Posted March 27, 2013 Hi, Dyamond. It has been my experience in life that when someone wants something badly enough, they will do whatever it takes to make it happen. In my LDR, I managed to save money that I didn't really have, and then spend 2 days on a train (not a pleasant experience) and a few hours on a bus to spend time with the person I was seeing. I wasn't keen on spending that much time on a train, but I wanted to make the visit happen enough that I was willing to do what it took. It sounds to me like your bf didn't want it badly enough to do whatever it took to come see you, even with you footing the bill! And then he doesn't even talk to you about rescheduling a visit? Actions speak louder than words, and he doesn't appear to even have any words. Is this really worth your time? Your are right, he is not worth my time. It's all over now for good. I had a little argument with him and since then we are both silent for about a week now. I will just leave it this way. Thanks for the advices.
spice4life Posted March 27, 2013 Posted March 27, 2013 I agree and yes I was very upset about it to the point even he later realize he was wrong to do this. He is trying all kinds of tricks to bring us back to the way things were before. But i'm not gonna allow it cause im not sure if I want to continue anymore after such a treatment. Girl thanks for the advice:o Good for you Dyamond! Don't accept less than you deserve especially since he was so shady about it. Take care of yourself first.
Negative Nancy Posted April 5, 2013 Posted April 5, 2013 Hi, Dyamond. It has been my experience in life that when someone wants something badly enough, they will do whatever it takes to make it happen. In my LDR, I managed to save money that I didn't really have, and then spend 2 days on a train (not a pleasant experience) and a few hours on a bus to spend time with the person I was seeing. I wasn't keen on spending that much time on a train, but I wanted to make the visit happen enough that I was willing to do what it took. It sounds to me like your bf didn't want it badly enough to do whatever it took to come see you, even with you footing the bill! And then he doesn't even talk to you about rescheduling a visit? Actions speak louder than words, and he doesn't appear to even have any words. Is this really worth your time? well, I'm going to make a surprise soon to my girlfriend. I'm going to visit her on a Saturday, and get back home on a Sunday. The airport is 300km away from my home, and the plain departs at 6:00Am. I will go by train Friday right after work. Will arrive at the airport at almost midnight. I will have to sit outside for about 5 to 6 hours, because it closes during the night. All of this just to be a total of 10 hours with her. But theses will be the best 10 hours of my life yet. So I guess, if he really loved you... well, you get the point. Take care very good points... 1
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