BananaPudding Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 So my High School sweetheart broke up with me in the summer after high school (it was a good thing, we weren't working out and I was pretty heavy in denial) that was 5 years ago and I have had a few GFs since then and I thought I was over it. It took forever, my first GF in college was definitely a rebound but eventually I got to where I could be friends with her, see her and her boyfriend, even remember all the good times we had without feeling sad almost at all. But yesterday I was cleaning out my room and came across the place where I had been keeping all of the notes from all 4 years of high school that she gave me. Originally I was keeping them so I wouldn't forget how things were, I like having keepsakes like that, but yesterday I decided that it would probably be a much better idea to finally get rid of them all, that I didn't really need them anymore. But I hadn't read most of them since high school, so I figured I would read them one last time and throw them away as I did. The process was fine, even enjoyable really. I wasn't really sad at all even for the rest of the day yesterday. I thought it was a good cathartic experience. But today I'm bawling my eyes out like it was just a year or so after we broke up (it took a long time for me to actually deal with my grief) everything that calmed me down before and things I could think of to make me feel better just aren't working and I don't know why. I have been feeling amazing recently especially with regards to relationships, I have even been excited for my next one without feeling like I "need" to be in one (which I previously did) I know that it is very likely that I will find someone who fits even better with me and things will be ten times as good. I also know that that girl I went out with in high school doesn't exist anymore, I am still pretty good friends with her but she is definitely a different person now, which is fine, so am I, and I'm ok with that. Maybe I just needed to talk about it because I'm feeling a bit better now, it's just been years since I have felt this sad about the situation and it kinda took me by surprise
Grumpybutfun Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I am assuming she was your first love, and those are always the sweetest. Yes, you two are not the same people, but it doesn't detract from your amazing experience with her. It is good that you grieved, cathartic really. One of the only regrets I have is spending so much time trying to get over or feeling guilty about failed relationships. As you get older and things start to come together as far as relationships are concerned, you will find that each relationship helped you to figure out what you wanted in a life's partner. Grumps
Recommended Posts