Author cdt76 Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Allow me to tell you a few things about anger: it's holding you back and keeps you linked to your past. It does not allow you to make progress. It seems that you have good reasons to be angry. It seems that you are a nice guy who had the bad luck to bump into some less worth people. Hey, that's just life... In my opinion, you need to make a choice as to how to use your anger - because it can be a fantastic driver: - option A: you use your anger to go to the gym, work extra hard to reach your other goals, get out of debt, get a new job or promotion, educate yourself etc AND cut yourself loose from your toxic past - option B: you use your anger to become a better person, do the same things... but also prepare your revenge. Mind you, if you do that, even if you do get your promotion, a slimmer, better body, a more educated mind, you aren't really making any progress emotionally, because you allow your anger to get you stuck in your past... Now, if you really really want revenge, you have to be smart about it. Sending her anything at this point, initiating contact with a person who does not care is similar to you sending a ball really strongly into a closed door. It will bounce back and hit you in the face. So what you should do, instead? Be smart and patient. Don't do anything just yet. Instead, prepare. All women get curious and at some point, will re-initiate contact with their ex. I've done it and I've seen my gfs doing it. When she reinitiates contact... she's opening the door. And it is only then that you can make your move. Send you ball really strongly. If you think she's really a bad person and she deserves the effort. In the mean time, practice that ball throwing. Sharpen your skills. - STEP 1: get your pic of that ring, print screen the transaction showing how much you got for it, the papers with the new job or whatever you think may really bug her - a picture of the new house/car you just bought, whatever... Whatever you think she might really care about or might bother her most. Keep them filed, somewhere, and wait for the right moment. STEP 2: wait until she initiates contact STEP 3: make your move. It has to be very fast and very short to be effective: one image, two lines in one email, something so strong that would make her cringe. No 2 pages long emails. Prepare and sharpen your weapons, wait for the best moment and attack - if that is what you really really want. Careful though, if you choose to take that road, you keep the bad karma and will be confronted in the future with a similar situation. It all depends on just how bad you crave revenge - versus you crave to be happy and calm. If you want to lead a stress free life, than use that anger as an engine to distance yourself from you toxic past. Most importantly, learn to understand yourself and why you chose to be with those women - who were not treating you well - and why you decided to stay with them, after realizing they were not treating you well. What's your pattern? Why do you allow those women to make part of your life? Is it because you want to save them? Is it because you think you can "fix" them? Is it because you want to prove to yourself that you can make them love you / stay with you, to be worthy of love? Those are the questions, that in my honest opinion, you should be focused on, instead of how to get best revenge... It's not leaving a person, but letting go of the past that says everything about a person. So... she obviously poisoned your past. The big question is... will you allow her to continue to poison your present and eventually your future with those vengeful thoughts? Your choice, man! I hope you do get whatever it is that you wish for ! By far the most helpful and insightful post I've seen on here. I mean you are right. The anger keeps me focused on the past. Now, it's not as intense as it was a few years ago. That was like a dagger to my soul. This was like a bee sting. But to not swat the little bee after it bites you is against normal reflex. The part about waiting and planning is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Plus it will give me time to heal instead of poking a dead animal when there is no feeling in the body. Waiting till she opens the door is awesome. If she never does, then so be it, I didn't do more harm by sending anything now. I would love to be the "better" person and just move on without becoming bitter. Unfortunately, too late. I'm already bitter and resentful. Does it rule me? No, it doesn't. But it's there. Always. And whores like these women I've run into start out all nice and sweet and loving and suck me in and then, when I'm close to making it a permanent thing, they bolt and I never see it coming. I want to heal. THere is just no magic formula for making that happen. I wish there was a pill but there isn't.
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I said on all the forums it is 90% posts by men about being cheated on. So how come there's a mixture of ladies and men who have been cheated on. I'm female but I've never cheated.
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I've found it pretty hard no too gloat, when people like my ex would put mr down. Then he would gaslight me and blame it on me. I would live to gloat to someone like this who was a real Ahole to me. What do you do if you don't have them on fb or anything else?
Author cdt76 Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 It's going to be hard for me to let it go without saying something to her via email. So. We shall see.
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