cdt76 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I understand the no contact policy and I do stick to it. However! I just paid off about 27,000 worth of debt. I paid off the ring I was going to use to propose to my recent ex. She left me for financial reasons (so she says but it was also to F other men for money). So I wanted to send an email with the picture of the ring I'm going to sell on ebay, and tell her I'm 99% debt free and I hope her vagina falls off because I'm doing great. Is it ok to gloat and let the ex's know it?
creighton0123 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 CDT, That would be cold, callous, and immature. You shouldn't really do anything that would validate your ex further in her decision to break up with you. Sell the ring and don't contact your ex. Wouldn't you rather she look back with a cringe of regret years from now at having left a good man instead of relief at leaving an immature and spiteful one? 2
Author cdt76 Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 I want her to regret everything! Am I bitter? Yes. Hateful? Yes. I don't want her to ever want me back. I want her to know she screwed up big time. And her life is crap because of it. But I see what you are saying.
purplereigncb Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Cdt, I did something similar to this. I regret it big time. Why? Because of the reasons posted above. My situation isnt that different either. I say a thank you would be more appropriate. Thanks to you im doing well. I accomplished such and such. But the best advice is stay no contact.
Dragonfruit Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I understand the no contact policy and I do stick to it. However! I just paid off about 27,000 worth of debt. I paid off the ring I was going to use to propose to my recent ex. She left me for financial reasons (so she says but it was also to F other men for money). So I wanted to send an email with the picture of the ring I'm going to sell on ebay, and tell her I'm 99% debt free and I hope her vagina falls off because I'm doing great. Is it ok to gloat and let the ex's know it? Yes! Don't forget to include the part where you say you hope the bitch's vagina falls off. It's hilarious.
Author cdt76 Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Hahah. Dragon I really want to. But I think I might just let it go. I don't know. The vengeful side of me takes over sometimes 1
lovelifexx Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Sending her a message like that will only make her feel better. She will think, "Wow, what an a**hole he is; I dodged a bullet". And she will think that every guy after you is so much better. My ex from highschool is still single after many may years. My best friend met him a few years ago, and he said nobody compares to me and what we had. You want the best revenge? Make her regret that she lost a really great guy. 1
Author cdt76 Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Don't you think though that's it's about time we stop with the turn the other cheek mentality, which only allows the cheaters and liars to continue on I their ways? I mean if we stood up for ourselves more, don't you think the next time around the person will think it through a little more? 1
purplereigncb Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Eventually the truth comes out IMO. Guilt can eat you from inside. Let them live with that guilt. They can't brush it under the rug forever, I know I wouldn't be able to. 1
Author cdt76 Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 I'm so angry. I spent ten years with a woman who wouldn't touch me, then found a woman I was gaga over and she cheated on me with my best friend and co worker, and then I found this one who got me to the point of buying an engagement ring only to find out she was banging any and everything in site. So I'm tired of taking it. Tired of being the victim that has to remain quiet and go on about my life without so much of a fighting word! When all the while I have a great life.
Dragonfruit Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I'm so angry. I spent ten years with a woman who wouldn't touch me, then found a woman I was gaga over and she cheated on me with my best friend and co worker, and then I found this one who got me to the point of buying an engagement ring only to find out she was banging any and everything in site. So I'm tired of taking it. Tired of being the victim that has to remain quiet and go on about my life without so much of a fighting word! When all the while I have a great life. But they were punished because they lost you. Also, when you think about it, all but possibly one relationship WILL end. I think it is good to remember them realistically and not just the worst aspects or how they ended. Another way to frame that is you have been fortunate enough to have three long term relationships and you learned a lot and probably had a lot of enjoyment from them. More than a of people get?
Dragonfruit Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Fooled twice, no, just no. To all of that. Really. 1
Dragonfruit Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 @FooledTwice- No baby, you need to review your third grade math. Men cheat with women. Women cheat with men. It is not possible that 90% of the cheating victims were men. LOL!
Author cdt76 Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 I don't know who cheats more or less. I just know I'm freaking DONE putting up with it. I mean this was one materialistic who're and I want her to know just how stable and great my life is going to be while she suffers endlessly. Call it callous or cruel but whatever.
Dragonfruit Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I don't know who cheats more or less. I just know I'm freaking DONE putting up with it. I mean this was one materialistic who're and I want her to know just how stable and great my life is going to be while she suffers endlessly. Call it callous or cruel but whatever. I understand that feeling.
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 CDT, That would be cold, callous, and immature. You shouldn't really do anything that would validate your ex further in her decision to break up with you. Sell the ring and don't contact your ex. Wouldn't you rather she look back with a cringe of regret years from now at having left a good man instead of relief at leaving an immature and spiteful one? Yet I've was dumped cruelly and have dumpers do this. I've had a dumper contact me just to gloat he was doing better than me at The time. So why is it ok for them? I can totally understand how the OP feels.
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 It was also cold, callous and immature her for being a cheating, lying, gold digger.
CC12 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 So I wanted to send an email with the picture of the ring I'm going to sell on ebay, and tell her I'm 99% debt free and I hope her vagina falls off because I'm doing great. Is it ok to gloat and let the ex's know it? Do you really think that email will make her feel bad and like, reconsider her life or whatever? If she has a conscience, she already knows she did a bad thing by cheating on you. If she has no conscience, then your petty email is not going to suddenly teach her any life lessons. I think it's more likely that she'll read your email and think, "Aw, how sad. He's clearly not over it. He's such a bitter little man. I hope his life gets better someday."
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Who says it is OK for them? The question is, do you--or does the OP--want to allow someone else's bad behavior to cause you to lower yourself to that level, or would you rather hold yourself to a higher standard no matter how big a jerk others are? That's a choice everyone needs to make for him/herself, but I know what my choice for me is. Well i'd rather not stoop to their level, but it hasn't been easy. Especially when I've done the right thing and gone NC from day one. Yet no hint of remorse from anyone. Especially as not many people have any manners anymore and it seems more "dog eat dog" in society. 1
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 And especially when they've lied and cheated, yet seem happy with someone else.
Dragonfruit Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Okay, here's a question for y'all. We always hear people talk about what's been done to them. But, have you ever gone out with someone who could say something bad about how you treated them? If so, where was your mind at, at that time? Why did you do it?
Darren Steez Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I understand the no contact policy and I do stick to it. However! I just paid off about 27,000 worth of debt. I paid off the ring I was going to use to propose to my recent ex. She left me for financial reasons (so she says but it was also to F other men for money). So I wanted to send an email with the picture of the ring I'm going to sell on ebay, and tell her I'm 99% debt free and I hope her vagina falls off because I'm doing great. Is it ok to gloat and let the ex's know it? You think you're making her "suffer" but really you're not, she'll probably get off on some ego trip because you're still thinking about her after all this time. Dude, you're in such a great position. You've paid off a debt! Think about how great that is! You are free in more than one way and you can move forward with your life. You sell that ring, you complete the cycle and get rid of the negative influences that affected your life. I know it's all PC, do the right thing blah blah. But after the hurt all those that have been cheated on want is the other person to feel their pain. But why give power to these vampires who drain our self worth and feed off our misery? At some point it has to stop doesn't it? Debt free + Bad woman gone = Freaking Result!!!
Darren Steez Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Okay, here's a question for y'all. We always hear people talk about what's been done to them. But, have you ever gone out with someone who could say something bad about how you treated them? If so, where was your mind at, at that time? Why did you do it? We'd all like to think we're saints. But I'm sure most at some point, while they may not have cheated, have done something they regret to a partner. We can always justify it in our minds, the question is how much remorse we show and if you own up to what you do. Sometimes it's the lack of remorse that truly stings.
candie13 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Allow me to tell you a few things about anger: it's holding you back and keeps you linked to your past. It does not allow you to make progress. It seems that you have good reasons to be angry. It seems that you are a nice guy who had the bad luck to bump into some less worth people. Hey, that's just life... In my opinion, you need to make a choice as to how to use your anger - because it can be a fantastic driver: - option A: you use your anger to go to the gym, work extra hard to reach your other goals, get out of debt, get a new job or promotion, educate yourself etc AND cut yourself loose from your toxic past - option B: you use your anger to become a better person, do the same things... but also prepare your revenge. Mind you, if you do that, even if you do get your promotion, a slimmer, better body, a more educated mind, you aren't really making any progress emotionally, because you allow your anger to get you stuck in your past... Now, if you really really want revenge, you have to be smart about it. Sending her anything at this point, initiating contact with a person who does not care is similar to you sending a ball really strongly into a closed door. It will bounce back and hit you in the face. So what you should do, instead? Be smart and patient. Don't do anything just yet. Instead, prepare. All women get curious and at some point, will re-initiate contact with their ex. I've done it and I've seen my gfs doing it. When she reinitiates contact... she's opening the door. And it is only then that you can make your move. Send you ball really strongly. If you think she's really a bad person and she deserves the effort. In the mean time, practice that ball throwing. Sharpen your skills. - STEP 1: get your pic of that ring, print screen the transaction showing how much you got for it, the papers with the new job or whatever you think may really bug her - a picture of the new house/car you just bought, whatever... Whatever you think she might really care about or might bother her most. Keep them filed, somewhere, and wait for the right moment. STEP 2: wait until she initiates contact STEP 3: make your move. It has to be very fast and very short to be effective: one image, two lines in one email, something so strong that would make her cringe. No 2 pages long emails. Prepare and sharpen your weapons, wait for the best moment and attack - if that is what you really really want. Careful though, if you choose to take that road, you keep the bad karma and will be confronted in the future with a similar situation. It all depends on just how bad you crave revenge - versus you crave to be happy and calm. If you want to lead a stress free life, than use that anger as an engine to distance yourself from you toxic past. Most importantly, learn to understand yourself and why you chose to be with those women - who were not treating you well - and why you decided to stay with them, after realizing they were not treating you well. What's your pattern? Why do you allow those women to make part of your life? Is it because you want to save them? Is it because you think you can "fix" them? Is it because you want to prove to yourself that you can make them love you / stay with you, to be worthy of love? Those are the questions, that in my honest opinion, you should be focused on, instead of how to get best revenge... It's not leaving a person, but letting go of the past that says everything about a person. So... she obviously poisoned your past. The big question is... will you allow her to continue to poison your present and eventually your future with those vengeful thoughts? Your choice, man! I hope you do get whatever it is that you wish for ! 1
Recommended Posts