BeeLove Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Well we were FWB's from the time I was 16 until 18. Totally normal for that age I guess, we had strictly sex only deal not even any kissing. Those were the rules we had, until I turned 18 went to college & got a real boyfriend and things with my fwb had to be broken off. I had fallen for him, but i knew it went against the rules of the entire deal we had as fwb. Well I'm 21 & he is 22 now, and recently I reached out to him because he was in a dream I had. Now I'm shocked because he calls everyday, and we have even hung out and though he's hinted at us being sexual again I refuse. I have refused to be sexual with him for the past year, so now he just wants to come over and asks to cuddle and watch movies. So recently just days ago we had sex for the first time in three years but it was more like he made love to me and when I showed him to the door later that night we kissed each other goodbye for the first time ever. I kind of like where this is going but I'm wondering if I should ask him what's happening between us or just not ruin it & go with the flow since everything is going increasingly well. What should I exactly ask him ? He asks to see me a lot & I'm skeptical about having him around my parents without knowing exactly what's happening. He has NEVER been in a serious relationship before so I think we are both kind of confused here..
chrisftw Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Well we were FWB's from the time I was 16 until 18. Totally normal for that age I guess, we had strictly sex only deal not even any kissing. Those were the rules we had, until I turned 18 went to college & got a real boyfriend and things with my fwb had to be broken off. I had fallen for him, but i knew it went against the rules of the entire deal we had as fwb. Well I'm 21 & he is 22 now, and recently I reached out to him because he was in a dream I had. Now I'm shocked because he calls everyday, and we have even hung out and though he's hinted at us being sexual again I refuse. I have refused to be sexual with him for the past year, so now he just wants to come over and asks to cuddle and watch movies. So recently just days ago we had sex for the first time in three years but it was more like he made love to me and when I showed him to the door later that night we kissed each other goodbye for the first time ever. I kind of like where this is going but I'm wondering if I should ask him what's happening between us or just not ruin it & go with the flow since everything is going increasingly well. What should I exactly ask him ? He asks to see me a lot & I'm skeptical about having him around my parents without knowing exactly what's happening. He has NEVER been in a serious relationship before so I think we are both kind of confused here.. go with the flow. you have so far and look where that's got you. no stress and now the guy you like is back in your life.
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I wouldn't take it so seriously....I think there's a bit of nostalgia in there, being back to the promised land where all things started...but still he's likely just graduated from vagina to emotions...he likely wants you interested in him emotionally as well. However that doesn't automatically mean he wants a relationship...not even in the slightest should that be assumed. Also, you had reached out to him...so for him it was easy to engage/pursue you as you were the one who opened the door again in the first place...obviously you have some romantic feelings for him otherwise you would not have done so and just been over it. I think it's very important to communicate with him..you can't "ruin" something by communicating, that would only make things stronger and the reassurance more easing, instead of just leaving it to the wind and hoping he wants the same thing and that you do to. You also have this history together, so IMO you have a stronger basis for communication....he can't just blow you off like some new FWB/random girl. It's possible he does have some rekindled emotions for you, and that's why he wants to spend so much time with you. You'll have to really talk about it order to find...you know that talking is apart of creating an emotional bond right? I know that's very foreign to many people, especially young because everything is so simple and free-flowing and happy-go-lucky but that's how you end up getting in over your head emotionally and then ultimately getting hurt...not that you wouldn't invest in him anyway, but it seems to matter to women that "they know" before hand even if it doesn't change their decisions...meaning that even if he doesn't want a relationship still or is looking/ready for something serious that you may still pursue it and not listen...hoping things will just escalate in the future...you're a bit more mature now and you did have this prior FWB arrangement when young, however I'm not sure if your naivety or comfort in repeating that cycle would be the same to you or for you...there's an expiration date for many women....with men they don't care, they'd just go on forever like that sometimes if they could, there's no reason to "escalate" things, you're just going to have to talk to him...lest you want to just be blind-sided and misread his intentions and then be "surprised" or disappointed he never wanted anything more. You should ask him why he wants to see you and what is it that he's interested in with you...another FWB relationship or more, how does he feel for you. Don't just automatically assume he's made these kissy kisses and love like behavior because he wants to be with you, he may have just simply stepped up his "love-making" or bedroom skills. Don't make assumptions with men or read everything like a girl, he's a guy it could always mean either/or.
syw0806 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Well we were FWB's from the time I was 16 until 18. Totally normal for that age I guess, we had strictly sex only deal not even any kissing. Those were the rules we had, until I turned 18 went to college & got a real boyfriend and things with my fwb had to be broken off. I had fallen for him, but i knew it went against the rules of the entire deal we had as fwb. Well I'm 21 & he is 22 now, and recently I reached out to him because he was in a dream I had. Now I'm shocked because he calls everyday, and we have even hung out and though he's hinted at us being sexual again I refuse. I have refused to be sexual with him for the past year, so now he just wants to come over and asks to cuddle and watch movies. So recently just days ago we had sex for the first time in three years but it was more like he made love to me and when I showed him to the door later that night we kissed each other goodbye for the first time ever. I kind of like where this is going but I'm wondering if I should ask him what's happening between us or just not ruin it & go with the flow since everything is going increasingly well. What should I exactly ask him ? He asks to see me a lot & I'm skeptical about having him around my parents without knowing exactly what's happening. He has NEVER been in a serious relationship before so I think we are both kind of confused here.. I would say just wait little more and see how things go. I had similar situation, although we never agreed to be fwb and we just met like 2 mos ago, but we weren't in an exclusive relationship either. he even mentioned **** buddy stuff,,well in joking way but still he did. lol my situation, he's the one acting more emotional, I wasn't open about my feelings because I didn't want to get hurt. He started acting more than just fbuddy or fwb, so I wanted to ask him where our relationship goes, but I never did because I was afraid. I felt like exactly the same how you feeling now. I finally asked him if we're friends with benefits, and he asked me back if that's what I want. My guy friend told me that means he wants a relationship, or at least he does see me more than fwb, bc if he wanted not to get attatched, he would've just made it clear that we're fwb. then like two days later after I asked him, he confessed me that he cares for me, he wants to work on this relationship, and he doesn't want to lose me. I guess that's pretty much his way of telling me he wants more than just casual relationship. Just hang on there wait more and see how he acts more differently. Eventually, if he likes you and wants to take the relationship further, he will bring it up. Let him work on it. Listen to your guts, and see how he treats you. My guy started to take me to dinner/movie outs, wanted me to stay over even when I was sick n not able to have sex, texts or calls everyday and if I didn't reply he'd freak out, became very affectionate and cuddly,, so and so. look for signs that if this guy wants you also outside bedroom.
aed Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 just wait and look how things are going.... maybe he thinks you also changed? Also having FWB without kissing? I never heard of that, and never done that. How was that for you?
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