Derpderpleton Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Especially if you treated them the absolute best that you could throughout the entire relationship. I don't care if they're doing it intentionally or not. Haven't they done enough already? I'm posting this because my ex has posted some things on social media that really irked me (yeah, I know, I shouldn't have her on social media). One of those things was on twitter, it was a retweet, something about her "pulling up to her ex with her feelings missing". Really? I'm struggling to get through each day and you want to joke about what you did to me? I could have handled the breakup like her last ex did (tell her how much I hate her, and spread nasty rumors about her), but I didn't. I've done nothing but respect the decision that she made. It takes a really sh*tty human being to be capable of doing something like this. I can honestly say that I've never hated anyone in my life, but she's really changing that. I've never wished harder for karma to hit someone harder than I'm wishing for it to hit her. I guess karma only hits people like me though, the people who don't deserve it. I'm far from a saint, but I've never done anything in my life to deserve what I'm going through. Can anyone else relate? I know I'm probably overreacting, but this sh*t reallllyy pissed me off. 1
vitg Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Mm.. I"m a girl, and guys are usually nice to me.. so.. I mean I"m nice too, but I.. well.. no.. I guess from reading your post I had trouble knowing exactly what she did to make you angry.. oh, I went back and read it again. She upset you because she.. joked about something she did to you.. :S I"m still a little confused, but this one guy ugh, dare I remember this person at all, I'm the type that.. HATES lies, it's wrong well he was the master at it, he did so many bad and psychologically damaging things to me at the time, and i was seen as bad by his people when I did NOTHING! made me angry after the whole situation was over, but this person is gone, and I'm just trying to be the bigger person and, just forgive though deep down I"m still irritated a smidge but eh, it'll pass. Better to forgive then not. I'm very into God and listening to the scriptures that make sense to me already. But yeah. I also wanted to ask, because I'm knew here.. how do we post questions and or vent threads?
portableversion Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 nice talk to god, i think crawlng back to church after my divorce has helped me alot. I joined confirmation classes, went to confession multiple times, found my rosary, got prayer cards, built my own little shrine in my apartment. getting rejected for me has been the absolute worst experience ever. Its so severe, so painful, its just not right. I ahd a similar experience, sort of. My ex was acting all buddy buddy and stuff to my face then talked smack about me on a social media place where she posts stuff. it was lies and distortion and character assasination. Made me furious i posted a whole bunch of rebuttle stuff and started a firestorm conversation. her credibility and believability was defitely shaken on the website but all i said was the truth. She was tryin to apaint me as a dead beat dad lied about money i was giving her, and was embellishing how it was she "won" on the divorce. Better stop thinking about it it was salt on raw wounds. cant wait to get into a bible study this fall or sometime sooner when confirmation class is over
portableversion Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 op this is a good topic and thanx for the post. Those were my sentiments too have u not done enough to me. I felt ,ok, i did things that upset u and u blame me for the divorcee but c'mon geez u divorced me u got everythng u wanted from the divorce found a new man well before the divorce was finalized and so had that sex link all nice and secure. I felt uve dealt every punishment available to lovers, but yet the stabbing continued, the divorce and sex with new man did nothing to alleviate the anger and rage. Such crap my therapist told me she ws abusive and, yet she feel slighted or whatever. Sometimes i get in a dark place and i secretly wish she find a man that would pucnh her inthe face real hard and give her a black eye and a fat lip, not good at all in know but i am very angry and hurt. Perhaps she still want to hang ot with me to find new ways to abuse me....hmmmm
denxnis Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I can't explain it either, I personally think it's their way of trying to cope with things. It's very similar to the way some people handle being broken up with and act "crazy" and do anything to win their ex's back. My ex did the same, posted all types of crap on FB/Google then gloated about being with some other guy, at this point I felt so much hate towards her I couldn't explain it to you in words. I'm not sure how long you two have been broken up but the best thing you can do is learn to control your emotions and don't let others control them for you; you decide whether or not you're happy, sad, angry not your ex or anyone else for that matter.
SimonSerenade Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I've been on the end of all that, most of the time it's a defence mechanism, they don't want to let on to people that there hurting inside, most of the time there trying to convince themselves, if only they could listen to themselves and really see what there doing, I remember being dumped by this one girl who cheated on me, at the time the break up was making me feel a little off and I was devastated because I'd just lost my best friend to an overdose, I was broken up, spent most of the night crying while she was all over some guy who had a forehead the shape of an ass!, I remember overhearing her say "is he still crying over his friend?, she was a druggy, who cares anyway" and started laughing, I was too upset at the time to say anything back but I couldn't believe someone I was with who I thought I knew so well could be so damn horrible, I got her back though, I went back into that pub the following weekend with my smoking hot blonde friend!, made her look like shrek in contrast and just started kissing her and rubbing her all over making sexual noises lol it was all put on but she ran out crying playing the victim act, it was probably a little ****ty of me but man did it feel good and it ****ing funny hahaha, she came back to me a few days later but I turned her down. I geuss my point here man is that yeah she might be showing you and everyone else right now that she's fine and she might be being cruel about it but I'll bet deep inside she's crying inside so don't take it so personally, that sort of thing will tear you up, your being the bigger man and you should be proud of yourself. 1
na49 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 My ex wrote crap after dumping me that said something like "Evaluate your life. Are you really happy? If not, what is stopping you from being happy? Try to look deep down and find what truly will make you happy!" or some crap like that. It got 20+ likes and drove me insane! It made me think "wow this girl never loved me" Then of course song lyrics like "Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great" I asked her about it and she says "It's just lyrics! Don't tell me what to post! It's my facebook!" Listen b*tch. I never told you what you can and can't post. Can you have even a little bit of respect for me and not posterize the fact that you broke up with me and are happy as hell about it to everyone on facebook? Apparently not. Anyway, they don't owe us anything. My ex could be writing all about me and how much I suck. She doesn't owe me anything now except an apology which I won't be getting. Stay away from their social media profiles for your own sake. I read crap about my ex feeling depressed a few weeks after our BU. I messaged her about it and apparently she wasn't talking about me and told me she was very happy not talking to me. OUCH! 1
McDonald Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 my ex a few weeks after the BU was already posting pics of her and this new guy with hearts and stuff in the caption. IT drove me insane because a few days before that she would say "I hope we can get back together". Then a few days after that I see pictures of them kissing etc. I dont think she was doing it to hurt me.. it was just to help her get over it and show people she was over it... though it wasnt like she had anything to prove because we didnt have a bad relationship. I Think its just their weird way to cope for things. She already took down all the pictures of us from her FB... or at least thats what i heard and i am not checking. IDK.. I dont know what her problem is/was.
Author Derpderpleton Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Thanks for the replies, guys. Sorry to hear about what you went through, it sucks for sure...It's like they turn into a completely different person after they dump you. It makes you wonder if this is the actual person they were the entire time, or just a front they're putting up to make themselves look 'strong' and happy. I had to work with her yesterday, I was dreading it so much. We even got sent on break at the same time, so we had to sit in the break room together..ALONE. For as angry as I was at her, I realized that expressing this anger towards her would accomplish absolutely nothing. She initiated conversation with me while we were on break. Nothing substantial..just casual stuff (asking how school was, how we were both excited to graduate, joked around a little), but I didn't treat her ANY differently. This was extremely hard for me to do, but I did it. I'm not going to let her change me into a bitter/hateful person. I know that she knows, deep down, what she's doing is f**ked up. All I can do is continue to be myself, while she continues to put on this act that she's putting on. I've realized that simply being the bigger person is the best way to counter to this type of behavior.
McDonald Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 yup. Show her your the bigger and better person.
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 I've never cheated, treated guys good and still got this BS. I hope that they'll found someone equally an Ahole as them. I've cut them completely off too. Where were they when I was hurting? Nowhere and they didn't care at all. Makes me feel that I'm so glad I'm not with an Ahoke person anymore. Aren't you? 1
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Although I wonder why the dumpee always has to do everything right and always do The right thing? I get pretty tired of that. Most of the time we have it worse. 1
Sugarkane Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 SimonSerenade and na49- Both your exes sound like incondsiderate Aholes. I think you both dodged a bullet.
McDonald Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Although I wonder why the dumpee always has to do everything right and always do The right thing? I get pretty tired of that. Most of the time we have it worse. I think the dumpee will always have it worse at the beginning. Then.. I think after a while we realize that we are better off without them. Basically, its becasue they dumped us...
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