meganck Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Hey guys! I need your help. I apologize for this thread being a little confusing. It's late and I'm a bit sleepy. Some background info on me: I'm a 25 year old female and I have never been kissed or been in a relationship. I'm not a prude, I just didn't want to deal with dating during my undergrad. Since September I've gone out on some dates with guys from OKC and have been unsuccessful until now. I just went on my second date tonight and we set up for tomorrow for me to go to his house and watch a movie. First date we met at a bar and went to a comedy club. It went well. Tonight we went to a bar to play trivia. We've mostly just hugged, no real physical contact, but I can really tell he likes me. Other guys I've gone out with didn't have the same reaction. He texts me throughout the week, none of the other guys did. Sadly it seems younger people no longer call. Oh well, maybe farther into the relationship. He also asks me questions, like he's interested. I went on a date with a douche who stared at his phone and the TV the whole time and didn't bother asking me a single question. This new guy asked me out on the dates and has paid (I offered the first date and paid the tip the second date). He shows the signs of being interested. The 2nd date went well, but when we left and I think he was going to kiss me but I just went in for the hug. I feel so awkward about this because I feel I may have messed it up. I'm not sure how to handle this tomorrow. I'd follow his lead, but I don't know what that is! Should I just look into his eyes in a sultry way and whisper, "kiss me."? By the way, I have no intention of having sex tomorrow and I hope he doesn't expect me to. I hope he has the respect for me to wait. I'm really inexperienced with being affectionate and physical. Should I mention something like this to him? My brother was the same way and he took some time to work on being affectionate and physical with his fiancee. Should I just attempt to cuddle with the new guy on the couch, like put my head on his shoulder? Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!
rocketman122 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Hey guys! I need your help. I apologize for this thread being a little confusing. It's late and I'm a bit sleepy. Some background info on me: I'm a 25 year old female and I have never been kissed or been in a relationship. I'm not a prude, I just didn't want to deal with dating during my undergrad. Since September I've gone out on some dates with guys from OKC and have been unsuccessful until now. I just went on my second date tonight and we set up for tomorrow for me to go to his house and watch a movie. First date we met at a bar and went to a comedy club. It went well. Tonight we went to a bar to play trivia. We've mostly just hugged, no real physical contact, but I can really tell he likes me. Other guys I've gone out with didn't have the same reaction. He texts me throughout the week, none of the other guys did. Sadly it seems younger people no longer call. Oh well, maybe farther into the relationship. He also asks me questions, like he's interested. I went on a date with a douche who stared at his phone and the TV the whole time and didn't bother asking me a single question. This new guy asked me out on the dates and has paid (I offered the first date and paid the tip the second date). He shows the signs of being interested. The 2nd date went well, but when we left and I think he was going to kiss me but I just went in for the hug. I feel so awkward about this because I feel I may have messed it up. I'm not sure how to handle this tomorrow. I'd follow his lead, but I don't know what that is! Should I just look into his eyes in a sultry way and whisper, "kiss me."? By the way, I have no intention of having sex tomorrow and I hope he doesn't expect me to. I hope he has the respect for me to wait. I'm really inexperienced with being affectionate and physical. Should I mention something like this to him? My brother was the same way and he took some time to work on being affectionate and physical with his fiancee. Should I just attempt to cuddle with the new guy on the couch, like put my head on his shoulder? Any help would be appreciated! Thanks! you say youre inexperienced..3rd date and youre going to his house? what do you think he wants, to play twister with you?
CC12 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 you say youre inexperienced..3rd date and youre going to his house? what do you think he wants, to play twister with you? You're going to scare her. OP, he might be thinking the date at his place might lead to more, but I think most men would not *expect* sex. If you feel pressured or if he makes you feel guilty, then he's not the nice guy you think he is. Does he know you're inexperienced? You might want to tell him, just so he knows the deal and that you're going to want to take things slowly.
SJC2008 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 you say youre inexperienced..3rd date and youre going to his house? what do you think he wants, to play twister with you? That's exactly what he wants to play! Pun intended.
SJC2008 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 You're going to scare her. OP, he might be thinking the date at his place might lead to more, but I think most men would not *expect* sex. If you feel pressured or if he makes you feel guilty, then he's not the nice guy you think he is. Does he know you're inexperienced? You might want to tell him, just so he knows the deal and that you're going to want to take things slowly. They met online and there are two common complaints: 1) Men don't get dates 2) Women get pumped and dumped. OP I wouldn't go to his place, regardless of what his intentions are.
CC12 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 They met online and there are two common complaints: 1) Men don't get dates 2) Women get pumped and dumped. I don't get what you mean. Can you elaborate?
PogoStick Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Pretty sure you mean naked twister. Anyways, you should do anything you want with him. Sure cuddle, sure kiss. Whatever you want. 1
CC12 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Anyways, you should do anything you want with him. Sure cuddle, sure kiss. Whatever you want. I like this. OP, take this advice.
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I think you should make a move and try and kiss him. He seems shy. I would never let it get past the second date without trying something if I had even mild interest. BTW, I think you should stick around. I rarely see instances of women here who have little to no experience. You could change the perspective of a lot of posters here if you shared a little bit of your story. Good luck to you!
JuneJulySeptember Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 They met online and there are two common complaints: 1) Men don't get dates 2) Women get pumped and dumped. OP I wouldn't go to his place, regardless of what his intentions are. Yea, but they've been on two dates and he hasn't tried anything. Unless he's totally setting a bluff bear trap like in Texas Hold Em.
SJC2008 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I don't get what you mean. Can you elaborate? Many men who do OLD apparently pump and dump.
SJC2008 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Yea, but they've been on two dates and he hasn't tried anything. Unless he's totally setting a bluff bear trap like in Texas Hold Em. He may not be gunning for sex. Given that she wants to wait and that they met online I'd advise against a date at his place.
hppr Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Just do what you feel comfortable with and if you are uncomfortable tell him why. Don't leave him wondering about it.
Author meganck Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 You're going to scare her. OP, he might be thinking the date at his place might lead to more, but I think most men would not *expect* sex. If you feel pressured or if he makes you feel guilty, then he's not the nice guy you think he is. Does he know you're inexperienced? You might want to tell him, just so he knows the deal and that you're going to want to take things slowly. So, I went over and things seemed to be going well, but when we sat down to watch the movie, he put his arm around me and instantly I froze and that's when I ended up saying something like, "I really like you, but I'm inexperienced and this doesn't come natural to me. I hope we take it slow." And he was nonchalant about it, didn't appear to mind, but throughout the night, he didn't try to put his arm around me again or anything else. I sat right next to him and arms were touching. My feet were against his butt. It sounds so childish, but this is what I do to try to get close to someone. Then after the movie, he turned on a basketball game for a few minutes, I tried making small talk (not as much as you may think because I know guys like their sports) but he didn't seem that interested. I was also a complete spaz. I spilled some of my beer on his table and I spilled water down my shirt and pants. I was tongue-tied. I was displaying all signs of being nervous and now I feel like a complete fool. So, during the game he asked me what I was doing tomorrow. I said, "Probably catching up on homework. I kind of procrastinated." I asked him what he was doing, he said he was going to a St. Patty's parade and would have to get up early. He said he should probably get to bed soon. Damn. So I took my cue and said, well, I guess I'll go now. Once again tongue-tied, I said, "Oh my gosh I'm being such a spaz right now." I was just blabbering incoherent things and laughing in a nervous way. We hugged. Oh and this is the best part. I said, "do you have any plans next weekend? Maybe we can do something?" He said he wasn't sure and would let me know. Yeah right. So, basically I blew it, acting like an idiot. I wish there was something I could do to salvage it or get another chance. I really am a fun person to be around and am happy with my life. The romantic love life is what has not yet happened for me and it seems because guys don't want to take their time or freak out.
Author meganck Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Which one are you: . I wouldn't say I am any of these. Throughout high school and college I've always wanted a relationship but I've been too shy to really go for one. I've gone out on many dates in college, but never got past the second. It just comes down to being shy and feeling unnatural in terms of being physical, even just cuddling on the couch. I feel strange making that first move in holding hands or getting really close to a guy's face. My parents were not affectionate toward each other, so when I was a kid I wasn't around this interaction. They kissed every so often, but never cuddled on the couch, never gave passionate kisses, and never stared into each other's eyes. My brother was really awkward with his fiancee, but she really cared about him and stuck around to make him affectionate.
Object_a Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Wow OP, you are being way too harsh on yourself. The fact the guy lost interest right after you asked him to slow down is a really bad sign. Even if he was just really disappointed he should have been able to deal and still make the effort. I think you dodged a bullet on this one.
Author meganck Posted March 11, 2013 Author Posted March 11, 2013 Wow OP, you are being way too harsh on yourself. The fact the guy lost interest right after you asked him to slow down is a really bad sign. Even if he was just really disappointed he should have been able to deal and still make the effort. I think you dodged a bullet on this one. You're right. I just got off the phone after explaining things, which was pretty hard. I mentioned how I thought there was a mutual attraction and he ended up saying something like, "There was an attraction at first..." So, I'm guessing when I told him last night that I was inexperienced, he lost any hope or expectations of boinking me. This in itself is a real bummer. I guess he's not a decent guy. He may have only needed to wait a few months and then he could've "molded" me. Never again will I go to a man's house during the initial dating phase. I've learned my lesson. I just wish it hadn't been with this guy because he checked off on everything else. I'm mostly disappointed in how he didn't want to be patient with me and it makes me feel pretty sh*tty about myself even though it shouldn't. Whenever I get to this point in the dating phase, it usually goes south because no one wants to be patient with me. This is why dating is not very fun for me, especially online dating. It's hard to meet a decent man in my degree program because there are maybe 2 guys in each class. Thank you for the tips, everyone. I will use these next time around.
todreaminblue Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 Hey guys! I need your help. I apologize for this thread being a little confusing. It's late and I'm a bit sleepy. Some background info on me: I'm a 25 year old female and I have never been kissed or been in a relationship. I'm not a prude, I just didn't want to deal with dating during my undergrad. Since September I've gone out on some dates with guys from OKC and have been unsuccessful until now. I just went on my second date tonight and we set up for tomorrow for me to go to his house and watch a movie. First date we met at a bar and went to a comedy club. It went well. Tonight we went to a bar to play trivia. We've mostly just hugged, no real physical contact, but I can really tell he likes me. Other guys I've gone out with didn't have the same reaction. He texts me throughout the week, none of the other guys did. Sadly it seems younger people no longer call. Oh well, maybe farther into the relationship. He also asks me questions, like he's interested. I went on a date with a douche who stared at his phone and the TV the whole time and didn't bother asking me a single question. This new guy asked me out on the dates and has paid (I offered the first date and paid the tip the second date). He shows the signs of being interested. The 2nd date went well, but when we left and I think he was going to kiss me but I just went in for the hug. I feel so awkward about this because I feel I may have messed it up. I'm not sure how to handle this tomorrow. I'd follow his lead, but I don't know what that is! Should I just look into his eyes in a sultry way and whisper, "kiss me."? By the way, I have no intention of having sex tomorrow and I hope he doesn't expect me to. I hope he has the respect for me to wait. I'm really inexperienced with being affectionate and physical. Should I mention something like this to him? My brother was the same way and he took some time to work on being affectionate and physical with his fiancee. Should I just attempt to cuddle with the new guy on the couch, like put my head on his shoulder? Any help would be appreciated! Thanks! i put my hand over my eyes when i read the sultry thing.....i think if you have to ask a guy to kiss you it should be after you have watched gone with the wind....kiss me rhett.......and then the theatrical pose....let it happen naturally.......i have never asked a guy to kiss me.....only recently i have asked one guy for a hug something i have never done before.....and that was....well..scary......couple of months ago now but yeah... in my opinion I wouldnt go sultry...just go natural and let it happen....or steal that kiss from him unawares...wait until he smiles lean in and kiss that smile, he should kiss back if he isnt shell shocked..........a soft one that he goes whoah where did that come from.....dont plan on it.....now when he smiles...you will think of what i said...lol.......and when its right you can steal it.....if you want to...otherwise wait for it to happen...happy kissin trails..deb
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