singme2sleep Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 (edited) When we first started dating, I gave my ex this little angel inside a stone figurine. I bought it after my grandfather died, and liked to carry it around to remind me to keep faith and be strong. I told my ex to take it and hold it whenever he would feel sad or down about things, that it could help give him strength. After that day, he started carrying around in his pocket, which made me happy. Now, post breakup I wish I knew if he still carries it or if he threw it away or stashed it in a drawer somewhere so it wouldn't make him think of me. I would never ask for it back, I wanted him to have it. Anyone have a similar curiosity about something they gave their ex? Edited March 9, 2013 by singme2sleep
lovnlost Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Yes I do...I bought my ex things every now and again. Earings she wore all the time and I found a matching ring in Thailand I gave her. A shirt, I know she wore as she posted it to fb with her new fling lol. And some other things like a cute stuffed animal she always kept on her bed.....but yeah I wonder if she still does wear them or has tossed them all. No clue.
Author singme2sleep Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 Well in my opinion, tossing them would be heartless. Do you think a guy would be sentimental to hold on stuff like that? I mean my ex had it in his pocket everyday, which made me feel so good because it was like even when I wasn't with him, a little part of me was.
lovnlost Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Well in my opinion, tossing them would be heartless. Do you think a guy would be sentimental to hold on stuff like that? I mean my ex had it in his pocket everyday, which made me feel so good because it was like even when I wasn't with him, a little part of me was. Not sure about others. Some purge all things to remove any reminders of the past given the level of hurt etc,. My ex was a purger....though she never met anyone like me before, and I am not trying to sound arrogant. You know my story. Of anything she kept, I hope she still has the letter I wrote her. I have kept the things she gave me. She gave me several pictures and a mirror for my place that are spot on to my personality. An old brass sailboat thats rustic looking. I own, teach, and race sailboats. I have it on my desk. I removed all our pictures from the house because...well you know....But ya...I kept them. And I would hold on to them. I choose to remember the good in our relationships as they help make us who we are, and the bad. As long as they do not cause to much pain, I am sure others do as well. Im happy you felt that way. And perhaps he will come across it and remember for certain. I am glad you got to experience that. 1
miklos Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 My ex returned to me the college sweater i gave him... started crying but im better haha
Phoe Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Actually.... I never did wonder. One ex returned something of mine that I gave him, which was a very painful thing to go through (he cried when I gave it to him, he knew how important the gesture was to me, giving it back was like a stab in the heart). But as far as other stuff? Meh. I did see a facebook photo years later of an ex wearing a pooka shell necklace I gave him. I thought "huh, he still has that thing" and promptly moved on without another thought. I received 4 things from my exes. A glass figurine, a ring, a necklace, and 2 handwritten poems. I kept the poems because they're actually quite nice... (I stored them away in a binder filled with all sorts of things). The glass figurine shattered by falling in an earthquake, the ring got smashed while on my finger still one day (i'm lucky i didn't lose my finger, good grief that was scary), and the necklace chain snapped. Suppose it's quite the omen that these things needed to be let go of. I am not sad about it.
Ordinaryday Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I honestly would prefer it if she tossed out every present I ever gave her. don't know why, but the thought of her holding onto them for sentimental reasons, well that bothers me.
Thunderchild Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 (edited) My ex's house is littered with the things that I bought her over the 5 years we were together, so her house is a veritable minefield of "Triggers" for her. On about Day 6 of No Contact, I scoured my house - top to bottom - for anything associated with her and got rid. Even down to the mango chutney and mint jelly in the fridge. I had a set of her house keys which I sent back. I've always been a bit of a pragmatist when it comes to presents - I buy things that people use or need. I very rarely go for small, fiddly sentimental frippery - except for birthdays/valentines day etc. So, she'll be running about with a vaccum that I bought her, washing her clothes with the washing machine I bought her, I bought her the TV, her latop (her only computer) and her portable DVD player (which she loved to watch in bed) were all gifts from me over the last 5 years. There are also various other knick-knacs like a big, elegant crystal vase that she always used when I brought flowers (yellow roses) for her and a wine decanter with some crystal wine glasses all of which she keeps prominently displayed in her kitchen dresser/display cabinet. She also got some items, when I cleared out my late mother's house, that have blended into the background over time. Some of my mother's ear rings, ear studs, some necklaces and some small ornaments/figurine. So, her house is well booby-trapped. Hell mend her! Edited March 9, 2013 by Thunderchild
Bando89 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I believe my ex put all my stuff (cards, letters, necklaces) in a box she keeps in her closet. I'm pretty sure because one time she showed me that box, full of stuff from her exes (actually, I don't even know why she showed that to me). As far as the big stuff is concerned, like clothes, I don't know. Maybe she'll wear them again, who knows?
travelonic Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Still have the things my ex gave me, and she still wears a pair of earrings I gave her for her birthday.
TheBladeRunner Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 OP, what a thoughtful gift you gave, mine never put any thought into anything like that. I tossed her stuff, and because she is a "liquidator" I KNOW she tossed the stuff I gave her.
KatherineX Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I still have everything my ex gave me from love notes to jewelry and I wear it with pride as he played a major role in the development of my life. I know he still wears the shirts I bought him =) 1
soccerrprp Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I keep them and use them. Why toss them out, if useful? Unless you are overwhelmed with guilt or longing from their presence/reminder, no need to toss them out. They were gifts under better circumstances... 1
iouaname Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 My ex still has a lot of my stuff, actually. I gave him quite a few things. When we broke up, I asked if we should return each other's stuff and he asked to keep my things (there was a shirt, a book, some other stuff I don't remember...) I told him he could keep it, because I don't really want any of it back. He told me to keep all of his stuff, as well. I threw it all away.
Amelie1980 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 My ex used to carry my angel wing necklace in his pocket to have me with him. I can't bear to look at his things as I am so hurt. 1
Author singme2sleep Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 If they make no attempt to return stuff we gave them, wouldn't that mean they want to keep it??
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