pancakes88 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 My boyfriend broke up with me 7 months ago, he said it was cause he didnt want a girlfriend anymore and also that he doesnt love me the same. I was miserable for about 5 months and he knew it at the start, then we talked less often and i was getting better until we met up the day i was suppose to leave on a holiday. We had both been drinking a bit and we were with a group of friends. because we caught the same train home, we left together. while waiting he grabbed me and kissed me. Then we talked, while sobering up, about how we felt. He said he was confused, he didnt know what he wanrted. The next morning he texted me as soon as he woke up, saying how he missed thinking bout me in the mornings, i could tell he didnt want to commit to anything but that he really did miss me and was considering something. I went on the holiday and we kept intouch, i let him the make the first moves and start conversation cause i was distracted and calm during the holiday. but we still had great conversations like we had never broken up. they werent often but we texted every few days. i was there for a months, the last week of the holiday i didnt hear from him, and honestly didnt mind because i felt the holiday did me some good and helped me find who i was. When i got home, i met up with friends for dinner and he was there too. He called me up before and we talked, i said i could give him a lift to the dinner, and i did, we didnt spend heaps of time alone, and then another friend drove him home, he texted me a few days after and he said he was hoping i would take him home so we could catch up. I didnt think much of it. We were distant for about a month. During that time i was completely okay, i wasnt over him but i wasa getting there, the holiday did me so much good! After that month we started meeting up, just the two of us, and we started kissing alot. we never had sex, i made it clear to him i didn't want to cause he didn't know what he wanted. I started getting my hopes up eventhough he was unclear. this went on for a month. I saw him last night, and finally confronted him about how i felt and what he wanted. He didnt want to get back together, he said he doesnt know why he keeps wanting to kiss me. He liked being single but at the same time he misses me. He wanted me to work on myself, cause we had been together since our first day out of highschool, we were together for almost 3 years, and we lost eachother in ourselves. after the break up he moves on well, with a different group of friends and I didnt even begin to move on until i went on the holiday. I got pretty upset infront of him, because he was so direct about it all. I woke up this morning and all i can think of is how dreadful the next few months will be. I have a tough semester of uni ahead of me and i dont know how to handle it, i cant even focus. It feels like a break up all over again. i have a great bunch of friends but they all have their own lives too. i dont know what he is feeling and i dont know what i should do. I admitted to myself that i dont even want to get over him. I guess today is the start of NC, and im pretty confident i can do it cause im a little angry and i think that anger definitely drives the nc process. I guess what i want to know is what do you guys think of his behavior? does he really not want to be with me or is he hiding how he really feels (stupid question but its going through my head)? How can I cope with studying and dealing with the situation? Ugh. sorry for the long story
TaraMaiden Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Just a female: Only perspective from me, is ONE: Give ages. TWO: Break your post up into legible paragraphs, because as a block of text it's too long, and difficult to follow. (It's in the Guidelines - which you agreed to, remember? ) We ask that community participants separate long posts into paragraphs, leaving a blank line between each block of text similar to the style used in this document. We have found that posters who follow this suggestion not only improve the readability of the post, but also tend to receive a greater number of responses. (Under 'Paragraphs and Formatting') I guarantee most peoples' eyes will glaze over and go funny by line 5.
creighton0123 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Just a female: Only perspective from me, is ONE: Give ages. TWO: Break your post up into legible paragraphs, because as a block of text it's too long, and difficult to follow. (It's in the Guidelines - which you agreed to, remember? ) (Under 'Paragraphs and Formatting') I guarantee most peoples' eyes will glaze over and go funny by line 5. Yeah. I lost it at the train ride.
KatZee Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 You don't need male perspective here. It's perfectly clear what's going on. He obviously loved you. He spent three years with you. At this point he can't handle NC. He does miss you. HOWEVER, he misses the comfort of you two together, he doesn't miss the whole relationship aspect, and that's why he doesn't want to get back together. He just can't handle having you around every single day, to not having you at all. It's like a shock so he's trying to wean himself off of you. It's a selfish move but he may not be doing it completely intentionally. He is hurting as well. At the end of the day though, you guys are over. You need to start doing what's best for you, not what's best for him. He's going to need to come to terms with it being over and the fact you're not going to be there as a great friend figure.
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