SmileFace Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 We are exclusive (I'm just not his girlfriend.. I know it's coming but I'm not pushing it). I am just really afraid to have sex with him, I don't want him to have sex then dump me. I feel like if I wait a little longer (maybe even until he official calls me his girlfriend) then he won't do that because the stakes will be higher you know? I honestly don't think he is the type to pump and dump but I didn't think my ex was either and he basically did so I have to really be careful. I think it is silly to wait longer because you are trying to draw out the time before he may dump you. Generally I think you can wait longer. However the timing of sex varies person to person and experience to experience...living int he fear that he will pump and dump is silly and unfair to him. He hasn't acted in that way so he shouldn't have to pay for your exes fu ck ups. You may think your ex pumped and dump but I am pretty sure they were tons of red flags with your ex that you chose to ignore. There is a difference here, hopefully, pay attention. Just be smart about this. Stop trying to live up the some silly idea of perfect relationship on some crazy time line and FFS please stop listening to your parents. 2
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 I think it is silly to wait longer because you are trying to draw out the time before he may dump you. Generally I think you can wait longer. However the timing of sex varies person to person and experience to experience...living int he fear that he will pump and dump is silly and unfair to him. He hasn't acted in that way so he shouldn't have to pay for your exes fu ck ups. You may think your ex pumped and dump but I am pretty sure they were tons of red flags with your ex that you chose to ignore. There is a difference here, hopefully, pay attention. Just be smart about this. Stop trying to live up the some silly idea of perfect relationship on some crazy time line and FFS please stop listening to your parents. I agree, I am just going to try to not over think and just be normal and I don't want to have sex though I am going to wait not because I'm scared (even though I am) but because I told myself I would wait until I was in a relationship for sex and so far I have done a really good job. I have gone 5 months longer than I ever have! I think I can wait.
somedude81 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Do guys actually do that? Have sex with a girl one time and then disappear? That doesn't make any sense. Once I can get a girl to sleep with me, I'd keep on doing for as many times as possible. If the guy was a player, then maybe I'd understand sleeping with a girl once and then moving on if there is another girl already to go.
SmileFace Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Do guys actually do that? Have sex with a girl one time and then disappear? That doesn't make any sense. Once I can get a girl to sleep with me, I'd keep on doing for as many times as possible. If the guy was a player, then maybe I'd understand sleeping with a girl once and then moving on if there is another girl already to go. Well the guy who lead me to ls did this so... Yeah
somedude81 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Well the guy who lead me to ls did this so... Yeah Was he a player?
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Do guys actually do that? Have sex with a girl one time and then disappear? That doesn't make any sense. Once I can get a girl to sleep with me, I'd keep on doing for as many times as possible. If the guy was a player, then maybe I'd understand sleeping with a girl once and then moving on if there is another girl already to go. My ex was a super player, he admitted that he had sex with different girls every night at one point (even more than one in one night sometimes) he was also a super drinker and kind of druggie so yeah he got a lot of girls and didn't remember a lot of them. I thought he wanted more and I think there was a ton of things I ignored with him that I shouldn't have.
SmileFace Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Was he a player? No. Not one bit. We didn't work out since we moved too fast and were infatuated with each other and built a relationship on that but once we go to know each other it was obvious we weren't a good match - which kind of clicked after sex, granted the sex was good. He was nice enough to back off - I tried at the relationship again - he offered a FWB....I cut contact at that moment. However he admitted that we wouldn't have worked out and decided to go along with sex anyway - I found that out after.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 No. Not one bit. We didn't work out since we moved too fast and were infatuated with each other and built a relationship on that but once we go to know each other it was obvious we weren't a good match - which kind of clicked after sex, granted the sex was good. He was nice enough to back off - I tried at the relationship again - he offered a FWB....I cut contact at that moment. However he admitted that we wouldn't have worked out and decided to go along with sex anyway - I found that out after. I'm scared what if that happens to me?! We are kind of in that infatuation phase :/
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Just thought I would update, it was awesome! He didn't try anything he was sweet and cute and we kissed a lot 2
normal person Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Lol I'm really trying to be mellow Omg omg omg he invited me over to watch a movie!! I'm so scared! I am not hooking up with him! I can't! What if it happens and everything is ruined and he ditches me?! I'm freaking out. I will get to meet his roommate though, that's good. What if his roomie doesn't like me?! I couldn't resist. 'Happy for you, though. 1
Nyla Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Four dates is too early to worry about meeting friends or parents. I didn't meet my husband's friends for years; they were busy married fathers whose wives had them on a short leash. Asking a woman over to watch a movie is the oldest trick in the book. Men only invite women to their places for sex. I would suggest that you don't visit men's homes unless you are ready to sleep with them. 1
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 Four dates is too early to worry about meeting friends or parents. I didn't meet my husband's friends for years; they were busy married fathers whose wives had them on a short leash. Asking a woman over to watch a movie is the oldest trick in the book. Men only invite women to their places for sex. I would suggest that you don't visit men's homes unless you are ready to sleep with them. I know it is an old trick lol thats why I was worried, because I definitely caved into it before. He didn't try anything with me, he honestly just laid with me and cuddled me and watched the movie. We did kiss a lot but it was pretty innocent. I kind of jokingly made a comment about it and he was like "I'm just a respectful guy" and he really is. I am just trying to take it one day at a time but so far so good. I am not as concerned about meeting his friends anymore I think that will eventually come, I was just more worried about him hiding me away because he might feel embarrassed of me or something but I don't think he is.
Nyla Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I know it is an old trick lol thats why I was worried, because I definitely caved into it before. He didn't try anything with me, he honestly just laid with me and cuddled me and watched the movie. We did kiss a lot but it was pretty innocent. I kind of jokingly made a comment about it and he was like "I'm just a respectful guy" and he really is. I am just trying to take it one day at a time but so far so good. I am not as concerned about meeting his friends anymore I think that will eventually come, I was just more worried about him hiding me away because he might feel embarrassed of me or something but I don't think he is. If he didn't try anything, that is a good sign. When I was single, I stayed away from men who pressured me to go to their homes right away unless I was ready to be intimate with them.
LuckyShades Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Maybe he doesn't hang out with his girlfriend+his friends alot. some of my friends are like that. or maybe he doesnt see his friends that often.
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