SunnySu Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 when he says he needs time and went on dating sites n talk to girls Hi everybody! Can u pls help me out on this, I need opinions from guys and girls please, I don't have a lot of dating experiences and he's first guy I truly love I want this to work out so bad. So we had a big fight on last fri, it's cuz he told me that well get married this July, but he said just sign the paper n don't turn it on, he's in the army n he don't want to notify them, so I was like ok, but then couple weeks later I asked him that when his parents coming up Wat do he wants me to do wit the ring he got me? He said just tell them sum1 else gave it to u. I was really sad cuz it seems like he don't want to tell his parents that he wanna marry me n just hide it, so it bothers me n we had a big fight. But before that we already had a big fight about he didnt care about me. So he said that I keep finding to fight wit him about and he's tired of this fighting everyweek. I went to work and I had calm down n be normal with him, but when I thought we were good it got bad again. So he took his clothes n agree that we'd b together n he'd just take a drive, we been with each other for 9months we do everything with each other, we were so closed. So we had an agurement on fri night again n he slept in the barracks on sat he refused to see me, and we texted he didn't wanna talk to me on the phone I was really sad and emotional, I told him how sorry Iam and how I realize my mistakes and I'm willing to change for us to b together for the long run, but he just keep saying hell forgive me n we have to take things slow. So he came out on sun n talk to me for 2 hrs and still notated Wat I say he just want to take things slow, he said hell see me a lil more each day, that's the only option that well work n we can b together in the long run. So I agree. We were still texting n talk about how it was when we first met n his hobby. I aksked him if we r together and im his gf still and he said yes, am i ur bf , i said yes, so we talked m talked n i said that love meed 2 person to create n he said he kno hell cahnge to care n sruffs too im the love of his life, i told him i wonr b his crazii wifey anymorw ill b good lovin n understand, and he told me ill alwyas b his crazii. It was good, he came out to see me on mon, after he went to dinner with his guy friends, he said he wanted to come after work but he forgot it was his friend bday, n I said its ok u can go to ur friends bday I understand, he said no he wants to see me, so he came over for 2hrs and a half we were talkin so good we got along and we had sex I told him if u love me prove it to me, cum inside. And he did, sorry too much info. The thing is before he really dont want to have a kid right now we r onli 22, so he onli cum inside everytime we had a big fight. And then on tues he came out right after work n spend the night wit me, he said his workmates said that they was in the same situation and they took a week of and everything went back to normal and good. So I said ok, I showed him I changed n he said I kno ur changing. I treat him very good from the start, I cook for him lean up after him, care for him cut his nails do everything. I treated him like a king for 9 months. So we talked n stuffs and I asked him when well b back to normal he said soon so I said a month or two ? He said not that long, next week we should b. then on wed, I had this weird feeling n I can't sleep so I talked to him n said that pls don't cheat on me n stuffs well work this out n ill change he ok he won't and he said he Loves me n stuffs, I asked if he's goin to see me today, he said no he's tired n pissed of cuz of work, so I said ok rest ur stress cuz of work loads. Then I didnt text him. I was bored so I got on his fb, and this girl Nikki accepted his friend request, so I text him n said " Nikki huh I hope y'all work out " and he replied wit " Wat r u talking about " I said she accepted ur request and 5 mins later his password changed, I asked him y he do that he blamed his roommate did it, he said he left his fb on that guys comp and he left so he can't do anything hell change it back, he also told me that his roommate asked him to add that girl he dont kno Wat for. And we talked no argue I asked y u lie and hurt me he said he dont kno he just feel like I'm checkin up on him and stuffs. So I told him ill forgive Watever he did well b happy again and start fresh, I don't want him to do wat he did to his ex, he left her hanging and talk to other girls n when he found one he just ignore her no matter Wat she says, and he said he wants us he won't do that to me, so I said ok and 1 hr later he went to bed and texted me night love u. I didnt say anything back to him cuz I was sad n crying n talked to my friend she told me it was wrong to let him have no privacy n if I look I shouldn't tell him, she told me to ignore him for a week, and yesterday, I ignored him for the whole day and he did the same no texts. so I texted him at the end of the day that Im tired of playing games, Wat he wants ? He asked me Wat do I want, I told him how much I want us and ill change, he said we just have to take it slow, and I told him if he need time ill give him time he said he needs time, so I asked r we together n he asked do I want to I said yes, he said idk we just gotta take thing slow n stuffs, so I said ok so m I still ur friends or ur gf he asked me if I can handle takin things slow I said yes he said he just need time I said ok n we haven't talk since, but later I found out since mon he been addin girls from those dating websites and he took off our pic on fb n make he relationship status onli visible to me. Idk y he cant just tell me straight up if he wants a break up. I don't understand his taking things slow n need times mean :/ Im so hurt I'm treasure this relationship n I love him wit all my heart idk y our 9 months living together in the same root mean nothing to him and he won't even touch no Matter how much I poured my heart out.
Dragonfruit Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) I would always believe someone's actions more than their words. It sounds to me like he either wants to move on completely or at least have more of a casual relationship with you for now. I don't think he wants to be in this hot and heavy, whatever he wanted at one time. He may be trying to let you down easy. I don't know how old you are but most of us go through many break-ups before we find the one we marry. Nine months may seem like a very long time if you're young but it's really not that long at all. At the time it feels like the end of the world if someone wants to move on but it is nothing of the kind. I think people usually don't like it when someone seems like they need them way too much if they're not sure they feel the same. If he is looking to date others, then you do the same, you know? Love yourself first, that is really all you need. I hope it works out the way you want it to. I would not promise to change too much. If things aren't working then he needs to change too if he wants to be with you. He is not the only one out there. Good luck, I know it can be very painful sometimes. Edited March 8, 2013 by Dragonfruit
Author SunnySu Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 Thanks you so much for answer. I kno that he won't b back to me but It just hurts a person can b so cruel n heartless that fast </3. I think I just need to face the truth.
Dragonfruit Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Thanks you so much for answer. I kno that he won't b back to me but It just hurts a person can b so cruel n heartless that fast </3. I think I just need to face the truth. Yes it can be very cruel and heartless. If this helps at all, when I am miserable I clean, cook, organize, etcetera. Staying busy gets me through it and then I get a lift because everything is so nice when I get done being miserable that I feel like I have a fresh start.
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