meeji Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Another update. I am doing pretty well. I feel like I am in a good place. My ex has not tried to reach out to me since the last email that I ignored. I haven't been tempted to contact him. I have been trying to understand this desperate feeling that a lot of people feel about contacting the ex. I guess I'm lucky. I don't know how I would feel if he blindsided me now but I think I am moving along just fine without him. I have started working out regularly I'm pretty small and while most people are counting calories, I'm wondering if I eat enough calories throughout the day to balance the workouts. I now do Zumba, Pilates, Body Attack, Body pump, Yoga and cardio on the machines. I have even encouraged some friends who need to workout to get a membership and join me. I have to drag them out but either way, I'm having fun with it. One thing I noticed is that since the breakup my confidence has actually gone up. I didn't have to do a whole lot to feel like a whole person again. I knew I had it when I went into our relationship and when the relationship ended I knew I still had it. I didn't internalize it but I guess the circumstances were pretty straight forward. My relationship didn't last because we were at two different points in life. Its nobody's fault and that doesn't make me unattractive or less of a person. I took pride in my new freedom used the experience as an opportunity to remind myself that it really was his loss. I have also learned that dating is just not something I am comfortable becoming invested in. I gave up. I hate going on this date and that date... even the free meals isn't enough of an incentive.. lol Its a effin chore. I like to just hang out with guys, become friends, get to know them well and then from there the rest will take care of itself. If I go into it with the intent to date I feel a lot of pressure on me and its just feels forced. I have to act a certain way, i have to figure out how i feel about said guy, I have to figure out how he feels and then return or reject his signals... then if neither of us is interested, rinse and repeat.. love will find me when its the right time. I don't feel like I have to look for it. i much rather date someone i have been friends with for years then random guy off the internet that I don't know well. In my case, the friendzone is where you want to be. HAHA I have been applying for new jobs. May will be 6 years at my current job. while I'm turning over new leaves I figured maybe its time to move forward from that too. I guess i'm pulling all the stops to work on myself. My past relationship doesn't even phase me anymore. I usually cut contact with my exes anyway so maybe thats why this has been pretty successful for me. I hope you guys are doing well and everyone is moving forward too. There is light at the end of the tunnel!.. you just have to open your eyes.
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