Is my ex in a rebound relationship?

[chloehilton]

• I got some anonymous messages on my tumblr saying that he was going to leave me (I have major trust and anxiety issues and I've been hurt and cheated on and abused before) and I panicked... So I said I wanted a break, he was really upset... He couldn't understand why I was suddenly doing it, I really hurt him.. And then later in that week he said something about one of my friends (who died) that could have been meant offensively (but he didn't and I knew that) and I used it as an excuse to break up for good because I panicked about him leaving me. But he thought it was about my friend.. Anyway for about 6 days after that he begged for me back and I said no because I was scared, and then he started going out with another girl, with the same name as me 'Chloe' but aside from that she is nothing like me.. They have been friends for a long time and he has assured me that he never liked her when we were together, but now I want/need him back, because we were both very dependent on each other and because I love him and I know he wasn't going to leave me, he was honestly the best boyfriend ever and we planned out our future together and everything... But he says he doesn't want me and that he doesn't love me anymore and I don't know what to do, I know I made a mistake but he won't tell me what to do to make it right. all he keeps saying is that he thinks it would be better if we were just friends, but I think he might be trying to stop himself from getting hurt again and I think we make a good couple, he really does make me so happy and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I thought he wanted the same but maybe I was wrong... I have nothing left to live for if I don't have him, I need him more than you can imagine.. More than I ever wanted anyone else.. he is the only one I ever want or need and I've thought that about others but it's completely different, he's my world and I can't believe how much he means to me. For a long time I thought that I couldn’t ever begin to like someone again properly, especially after everything that happened with my last boyfriend because he abused me but anyway, honestly it amazes me every day just how easy it is for me to love him. Its as simple as breathing. Every day I want to talk to him and know about his day. Everything. I want him in my life so badly, a part of it, contributing to it. It’s weird to me just how much I think about him. How much I miss him. How much I need to hear him say he loves me too. I can feel myself falling for him more and more… actually it's more like tumbling head over heels in a freefall. If I get him back then things will be fine… It won't hurt as much then I hope... I know that leaving was a survival instinct of mine from someone who has been hurt so many times before; this is my way of preventing myself from being as vulnerable to rejection as I usually am and I struggle every day with it. I hate to admit that there have been times that I've felt those little whispers and have had to stop my first reaction. I've caught myself reverting to old thought patterns and having to check my head. He hasn't given me a reason to doubt him, not really, and shouldn't have been punishing him for what other guys have done and I should have asked him about the message but I didn't and I regret it so so much more than he will ever know,I'm sure he's not the same but.. I really have learned that your thoughts can be your own worse enemy at times, I know that I don't come across as very confident but I like to think that I am… but really there are a lot of scars that the past has given me. I find myself trying to make sure I don’t have any expectations… I always try to minimize what is happening. I always put others first in place of my own wants and needs. Sometimes they work well, and with others I am just trying to please with no effort given back to me. They are bad habits of mine, habits that I keep struggling with… and I probably always will. I've always been willing to sacrifice to make someone I love happy. Which can be good… but it can also be very bad, and has left me alone and burnt out before. Some of the bad habits are due to lessons I've learned from hurt... I dont want him to think that I meant to hurt him because I broke up with him... And messed it all up, like I do with everything. I've told him the truth; that I only want him, and if he ever does even for a second want me back, I'll be there, in two days, three weeks, four months, five years, thirty years, ninety years, and if he doesn't, then I'd rather be on my own. I'm trying absolutely everything I can think of to make it right and make it work but he says there is nothing I can do.. But if he ever loved me like he says, there has to be something, right? he wouldn't have been with me if he didn't want to be and there must have been a reason he wanted to be, maybe i just need to figure out what changed. and please don't tell me to try and move on, I've tried really hard but it's not that easy. I just need ideas on getting him back AND if you think he's in a rebound relationship. We've only been broken up 13 days, today. We were together for 4 months and the 7th would have been 5 months.