Necris Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Personally this never really angered me, occasionally I might feel a little sad but it goes away quite quickly, it is disappointing however. I'm not really concerned about sex, but I would like a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 How does it feel? I see much negativity directed towards you guys, mostly men on here and elsewhere. I can imagine what that's like. Perhaps if you told us in non-blaming language what it felt like it would engender some sympathy. Personally I was in a situation for years where I wasn't proud of my sex life and so I did not talk about it. I let people think I was a virgin and I know the way people act about that. My sex life had comprised sex I could not really feel proud about. Being Bi and having had most of my experience when I was young with two different female teachers may sound great to some people. It isn't. If ones sex life isn't normative in any way there is a stigma. What I felt was a profound sense of "otherness" and shame. There was also a profound feeling of "what's wrong with me?" "Why can't I just have a more normal relationship life?" Is that what you all feel? Tell us about it, in non-blaming language. Ummm yeah! Details please. Were you in high school? Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Dating/hooking up is a skill. Just pay attention to female behavior. Read up on it. Watch guys that are good. Then do the things that work. I wasn't always good with women. I learned how to be. Then I learned that being good with women wasn't all it's cracked up to be. And I'm currently taking a break from dating (because there's more to life), knowing that I could change this anytime I walk out the door. It's an empowering feeling, really. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 virgins have just as much a right to state their opinions as everyone else. nobody should be silenced. Sure they can. Nobody's talking about 'silencing' anyone. Doesn't mean we have to take them seriously. It's like a fresh-faced recruit trying to tell a veteran what war REALLY is like. Seriously? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Sure they can. Nobody's talking about 'silencing' anyone. Doesn't mean we have to take them seriously. It's like a fresh-faced recruit trying to tell a veteran what war REALLY is like. Seriously? Yea, this is pretty much how I feel. Though I do think some people should be silenced, if for no other reason than their own good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 (edited) the ones who shouldn't be taken seriously are those who say their opinion means more because they've slept with more people. referring to a 34 year old virgin as a fresh faced recruit is insulting. referring to a 23 year old who can't keep his dick in his pants as a veteran is laughable. I believe the topic is about involuntary incels, yes? As in they are not having sex not out of choice, but because they can never get a woman to have sex with them? In that case, yes, I'm afraid the 23 year old casual dater has had more experience with women. It isn't about sleeping with more people - someone who has had 1 relationship can be more experienced than someone who's had 50 casual sex flings. It's about actually having some success with the opposite gender before you try to 'educate' others about what the opposite gender really is/wants/needs/likes (which, in the case of LS's beloved B.B., usually involves plenty of derogatory blanket statements far worse than those typically leveled at virgins, even involuntary ones). But why am I bothering to explain all this when your posts make it pretty clear that you've only skimmed mine? Edited March 9, 2013 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I thought the point of this thread was asking how incels feel? Not about who should be silenced or whose opinion matters more. Obviously someone who isn't an incel probably doesn't have a useful opinion on how an incel would feel... Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 the ones who shouldn't be taken seriously are those who say their opinion means more because they've slept with more people. referring to a 34 year old virgin as a fresh faced recruit is insulting. referring to a 23 year old who can't keep his dick in his pants as a veteran is laughable. well it's the truth when it comes to sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I thought the point of this thread was asking how incels feel? Not about who should be silenced or whose opinion matters more. Obviously someone who isn't an incel probably doesn't have a useful opinion on how an incel would feel... The OP's statement was 'I see much negativity directed towards you guys, mostly men on here and elsewhere. I can imagine what that's like. Perhaps if you told us in non-blaming language what it felt like it would engender some sympathy.' My point was that it wouldn't work like that. The negativity directed towards certain male posters here is not because of their virginity, but because of how they talk to people. The core issue is not their virginity, but rather how they handle it. I agree that my conversation with concourse has derailed the thread, and I'll put him on ignore to prevent future recurrence. Sorry about that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 so says the so called 'expert' lol, when did I ever say I was an expert? I'll tell you this though, I'll bet my life on the fact that I know more about sex than a virgin regardless of age. The same thing goes for dating than the guys who can't get dates. The guys on LS who are virgins that get crap, aren't getting it because they are virgins, they get it because they post ludicrous crap to justify that it's not there fault, or that it's out of their control. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 lol, when did I ever say I was an expert? I'll tell you this though, I'll bet my life on the fact that I know more about sex than a virgin regardless of age. The same thing goes for dating than the guys who can't get dates. The guys on LS who are virgins that get crap, aren't getting it because they are virgins, they get it because they post ludicrous crap to justify that it's not there fault, or that it's out of their control. It's not always ludicrous... Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 lol, when did I ever say I was an expert? I'll tell you this though, I'll bet my life on the fact that I know more about sex than a virgin regardless of age. The same thing goes for dating than the guys who can't get dates. The guys on LS who are virgins that get crap, aren't getting it because they are virgins, they get it because they post ludicrous crap to justify that it's not there fault, or that it's out of their control. To put it mildly, it's not about their virginity. Nobody said anything derogatory about my virginity before I lost it. Anyway, this is a heavy derailment from the topic at hand. We should be giving the "incels" a platform rather than discussing whether they should be silenced or not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I will forever remember those few threads from when I first got here where people were ridiculing inexperienced men. Solely for being inexperienced. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 It's not always ludicrous... To be honest, most of the time it is ludicrous. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely Ronin Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 It's not always ludicrous... I wasn't referring to you. You're pretty damn normal, I'm hard pressed to figure out why you struggle. The only thing that even comes to mind, is that you seem very melancholy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I wasn't referring to you. You're pretty damn normal, I'm hard pressed to figure out why you struggle. The only thing that even comes to mind, is that you seem very melancholy. I wasn't referring necessarily to me either. There are other dudes on here who aren't ridiculous. And yeah, ones that obviously are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrlonelyone Posted March 9, 2013 Author Share Posted March 9, 2013 Very interesting. Concourse 1 hit the nail on the head. We value experience over meaning when it comes to sex. So instead of looking at the virgin male as lucky because when he first has it it will be special. We look at his lack of experience and think negative thoughts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jma500 Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 first thread I commented on was filled with people acting like children insulting a 35 year old female virgin. it was insane how she was judged. in today's society the inexperienced are treated like crap. lust is valued over love. sleeping around with strangers and devaluing the inexperienced is the norm. If if is the thread i think it was both men and women were calling her a red flag and frigid because she was still a virgin at 35. There were some men and women on the side of reason and compassion like myself. Sadly more of the posters chose to be judgement. These same posters that were calling her frigid, etc., would have called her a whore if she had been sexually active. Some people just aren't happy unless they are wagging their fingers at someone else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonfruit Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 Not sure if this helps but I've noticed guys who have had sex with a female can seem to immediately gain a leap in confidence and assurance with females and then they do much better with them. I think so much of getting dates and such is just that, approaching with confidence, and it's kind of circular because the way to get it is to get it.... Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 (edited) That was me when I was a teen/early adult, I ended up going to Nevada and having my virginity extracted by a professional out of my complete and total frustration. I always figured it was because I was really really really ugly. I mean, I'd get shot down by butt ugly women that nobody wanted while my regular looking guy friends didn't seem to have any problems. What other reason could there possibly be? Truth is I was completely normal and most of my friends were full of it (they weren't getting laid either), which is how I view a lot of these guys on forums like these. They're normal they've just bought into this false reality where everyone is having sex all the time - except them, they are defective and need to go on PUA message boards, take steroids, and learn how to say the 'magic words' to girls to get laid or whatever. Sorry if this post rambled some, I'm doing database work at the moment and running on 3 coffees and 2 5 hour energies. Edited March 9, 2013 by hppr 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jedi Posted March 9, 2013 Share Posted March 9, 2013 I'm 18 and a virgin. I'm in no hurry. I personally think it's a sign of being classy, especially if you're under 21. Link to post Share on other sites
DannyMason Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 I'm a 25 year old virgin. Most of my life I haven't even thought much of it, so it doesn't usually get me down, but sometimes it does. It's humiliating and depressing. I was raised to see sex outside of marriage as immoral and dangerous, so I didn't pursue it when I was of the age most people become sexually active. That's the worst part, to know I was cheated out of one of the basic pleasures of becoming an adult and a major life milestone by the people I trusted most. At my age most people are already very experienced and not patient with the idea of having to teach their partner the basics. I can't blame them. I also know that the older I and my peers get the harder and harder it will be to find someone like that. It scares me. Sometimes I wonder if I've missed the boat completely. I feel completely alienated from mainstream society and deeply, deeply ashamed. Sometimes I feel such incredible seething rage. At the authority figures in my life for scaring me away from it, against more sexually successful men out of envy, at women for rejecting me, at myself for failing to obtain it. Lately, I've been having difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection. This is probably related to some heart problems I have. This makes me really worry about whether or not the boat has left harbor without me. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 How does it feel? I see much negativity directed towards you guys, mostly men on here and elsewhere. I can imagine what that's like. Perhaps if you told us in non-blaming language what it felt like it would engender some sympathy. Personally I was in a situation for years where I wasn't proud of my sex life and so I did not talk about it. I let people think I was a virgin and I know the way people act about that. My sex life had comprised sex I could not really feel proud about. Being Bi and having had most of my experience when I was young with two different female teachers may sound great to some people. It isn't. If ones sex life isn't normative in any way there is a stigma. What I felt was a profound sense of "otherness" and shame. There was also a profound feeling of "what's wrong with me?" "Why can't I just have a more normal relationship life?" Is that what you all feel? Tell us about it, in non-blaming language.[/QUOT i am not involuntarily celibate i am voluntarily celibate its a choice i made.....is there really involuntary celibacy? isnt it a choice you specifically make...celibacy...and that most people can get sex if they really desire sex...beign celibate implies th echoice is made to refrain......i have refrained for years.....even though sometimes its really hard to ignore the fact i want physical intimacy.... i still choose it...i dont choose to have sex for the sake of having sex with no commitment.......deb Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 i am not involuntarily celibate i am voluntarily celibate its a choice i made.....is there really involuntary celibacy? In the context of this thread, no, these guys are not involuntarily celibate. They had made the choice not to make themselves more desirable and/or put forth the effort to get what they desire. Inaction is a choice. Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 10, 2013 Share Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) In the context of this thread, no, these guys are not involuntarily celibate. They had made the choice not to make themselves more desirable and/or put forth the effort to get what they desire. Inaction is a choice. /Facepalm Have you really joined the camp of, "They still suck with women so they must not be trying" Should I point out everything wrong with that belief? Frankly, it's disgusting how little empathy there is on this board. People are quick to make fun of and insult others. But to try and understand what is going on, oh no! Edited March 10, 2013 by somedude81 Link to post Share on other sites
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