New2Love4Now Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Since I'm currently going through my first heartbreak, I'm wondering if "healing" or getting over an ex is something that happens on its own or something that you have to work towards. Some places online I've read that distracting yourself, staying busy and trying to keep your mind off of your ex is the best method. Other places say that it's necessary to feel the pain and grieve the loss as much as you need to. Is this something that is different for each individual? Can anybody offer any insight on the best way to get over an ex or share what has worked best for them in the past? Thanks in advance.
Thunderchild Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 You gotta do both. You have to experience the pain to understand and get over it. But you also have to learn from the experience. Avoid the pitfalls, learn from your mistakes. You become a better person by being active, rebuilding your confidence, social life, activities etc. This often makes you more attractive to the next person - and, the wheel keeps on turning! 1
misswillow Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 I think it probably depends on the person. I know for me, at least in the beginning, it feels worse to have to pretend I'm ok and stay busy. Going to work every day and putting on a happy face there is about all I can handle. After that, I need to just go home and deal with the pain and do things to comfort myself, like being with my dog, talking to a close friend, just letting myself cry and think about it. After a while, though I'm not sure how long, I think it's important to start forcing yourself to become more active, even if at first you don't want to, and it just gets easier in time. Right now, I'm dealing with a breakup that happened a week ago, so I can't even think much beyond just getting through the next couple of weeks by going to work and that's pretty much it.
creighton0123 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Both. Keep yourself available and active when it comes to social interaction, but not to the point where you don't give yourself room to feel or express whatever emotions you are experiencing. As willow pointed it, it varies from person to person. My people thrive with quiet contemplation. Others thrive with a social explosion. Look at most people on here, it is some combination of both.
Recommended Posts